I didn't feel depressed or helpless but rather apathic or indifferent, & I was wondering: someone said: "Happiness is the absence of problems". I didn't/dont' have any serious problems, but neither I seemed to have desires. I wondered if that was Zen already but I didn't feel particularly happy either. Is indifference happiness? somehow I don't think so.

I guess in the end, I'd stick to Don Juan's Teachings 'live each moment to the full as if it were the last one" & not to wreck one's head about past (that passed already) & the future (that hasn't happened yet). Now I am posting (living this) then going to the local Iknimaya (living that) then cooking maybe (& dedicate full attention to that). Something like this.