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Old 05-26-2010, 03:06 AM
Lord Duke the Baron
Grif is Grif
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 984
Default Short: Why not?

Well I was going through my old documents when I cam across this little thing from February.

I don't intend on writing any more, but seeing as it is Towel Day I felt inclined to post it.


Two men and a sofa, a Chesterfield I believe, suddenly appeared in an alien forest. It was not the first time this had happened.

“Where the hell are we?”

“I don’t know, somewhere green.”

“Shapes, I need shapes” muttered the first man.

“What was that?”

“Uh... something blue.”


“It is shaped like a policeman.”

“Really? Again?”

“No, not really I have no idea what it is.”

The two men passed out on the sofa, which disappeared a minute later.

These two men are Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. This is not the first time that something like this has happened to them. The sofa has also done this thing before with Ford and Arthur, which really unnerved Arthur. Partially because the sofa is one of the last remnants of the Earth from his universe, partially because it would suddenly appear out of nowhere, but mostly because he would have to chase after it.

Arthur woke with his usual yell of horror, as he had done for the past 4 years. He had done this ever since the Earth had been destroyed, despite the fact that it wasn’t always destroyed. This isn’t exactly true, it was really Arthur who didn’t remain in his time or universe but he didn’t care.

“How are you feeling?” asked Ford.

“Terrible” mumbled Arthur, “Where are we?”

“So your feeling normal then?”

Arthur ignored this comment.

“As for where we are, I haven’t the faintest idea. Let me check the guide... let’s see here we are Pandora.”

“Never heard of it. Should we be worried about anything?”
“Well the guide says that its inhabitants are supposed to be somewhat peaceful, a bit like the original inhabitants of Earth.”

“Well as an original inhabitant of Earth I’d say that we may be in for some trouble”

“Your not from Earth, well at least part of you isn’t. The Golgafrinchans are your ancestors.”

“So you mean the cavemen.”

“Their not cavemen!”

“Well they looked like cavemen.”

“Did you see them leaving in caves... oh never mind.”

A few minutes of silence passed until Arthur spoke up, “so what exactly are we going to do?”

“Good question, let’s see if there is anything to do on this planet. Well, well, well your going to like this Arthur. Apparently this universe still has humans on it, and there is a colony on this planet.”

“Oh really, any chance I could get a cup of tea from them?”

Ford interrupted Arthur hissing at him to be quite.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what, the jungle around us?”

“No” hissed Ford “it sounds like a ship of some sort. Something with blades, like a helicopter.”

Arthur looked up into the floating mountains. Normally he would have made some remark about the fact that the mountains were floating, but after seeing other much larger things floating in the sky, like the Vogon Constructor Fleet that had destroyed his Earth. Arthur felt the similar sensation creeping down his back that happened whenever he felt he was in trouble, which really shouldn’t be acknowledged as important since he had felt it ever since he left the Earth, but none the less he felt it.
Arthur started to say what he felt but was interpreted by an explosion.

“Get to the ship!” yelled Ford.

“What ship? We arrived here on that retched sofa!”

“Slartibartfast’s ship, it’s over there!”

Arthur turned and was mildly surprised to see an Italian bistro floating very slightly in a clearing about 300 yards beyond the trees. And as if fate was mocking him, the sofa was floating next to the ship. Above him a squad of helicopter like machines flew past only to be set upon by dragons.

Arthur started to speak, “Are those dragons?”

Ford grabbed Arthur and shouted as he pulled him toward the ship, “I don’t wan’t to see, I don’t want to hear, this isn’t my planet. I didn’t choose to be here!”

The pair ran in through the Italian bistro’s front doors. It wasn’t an Italian bistro of course, it was Slartibartfast’s ship. It looked and behaved like an Italian bistro apart from the traveling through space bit.
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Old 05-26-2010, 04:33 AM
Fkeu 'Awpo's Avatar
Ikran Makto
Fkeu 'Awpo | Bleh.
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 794
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Neat little oneshot, I liked it. =)

“It is shaped like a policeman.”

“Really? Again?” I lol'd!
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Old 05-26-2010, 05:40 AM
Lord Duke the Baron
Grif is Grif
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 984

I love Hitchhiker's and everything by Douglas Adams. If only he hadn't gone to the gym that day...
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:31 AM
Human No More's Avatar
Toruk Makto, Admin
Human No More has no status.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a datacentre
Posts: 11,751

That was epic...

The Hitchhiker's Guide series are some of my favourite books.
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:41 PM
Txum_kali'weya's Avatar
Stupid Sky Person...
Txum_kali'weya is a stupid sky person...
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Terra, NA, US, AK, Fairbanks.
Posts: 837

that was awesome.
"Sky People do not See, they do not learn" - Neytiri

[Today 11:06 PM] tallbluewanderer: logic must give way to AVATAR

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Old 05-27-2010, 04:19 AM
joeylovesgaia wants to get out to the real forest
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 150

Yeah well, I hated the cheap and stupid way he ended the series. Just kill everyone off, all at once? Like an imitation of Shakespeare's tragedies, only it's comedy up until then. Pity Adams didn't live long enough to get an angry letter from me. I enjoyed the books until then, though I never got all the jokes. Oh well, another author is picking up the series. Hopefully he'll do a better job on the ending.

But this is an Avatar forum not a Douglas Adams one. Sorry if I'm off topic.

Last edited by joeylovesgaia; 05-27-2010 at 04:21 AM.
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Old 05-27-2010, 05:52 AM
Lord Duke the Baron
Grif is Grif
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 984

You are not off topic, and he did intend on writing a sixth book to conclude the trilogy in a better manor. Eoin Colfer was commissioned to write a sixth book, but it is more of a glorified fan fiction than an actual part of the series.

If you like Douglas Adams I suggest reading the Salmon of Doubt.
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