Thirteen August Days. - Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum
Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum
Go Back   Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum » Fan Work » Fan Fiction

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-13-2010, 05:23 PM
ZenitYerkes's Avatar
Karyu
ZenitYerkes - Progress means expanding everyone's freedom
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,329
Default Thirteen August Days.

This is a short novel set up on the Revinuesa Valley, in Spain. The place looks like this, this, this and this. It's about a group of people who decides to take everything they'd earned to the moment to set up a wild colony there. Every chapter happens on a different year, but always relates what's happened on an August day.

It's originally in Spanish, but I'm translating it to English.

1 - August 3rd, 2009

The engineer, not used to that kind of walks, reached exhausted the top of the hill that rose from the million trees that were part of the Sorian pine woods and now spread out before him, like a majestic tapestry of perennial green which covered the Revinuesa Valley. The deathly silence that reigned in it was being interrupted by his agitated breathing and the whispering from the gelid mountain breeze that blew, freezing the sweat on his forehead.

Behind him, five more people were following him, climbing up clumsily from within the rockroses and the ferns they crushed with their heavy mountain boots. The group decided to avoid the dust roads and the highways to go through the tree shadows, so they wouldn't get any sunstroke or sickness frequent on the city people. It wasn't the easiest neither the shortest path to go, but it was the safest and the most adequate being this their first day.

"Salvador!" yelled one of the six "Dammit Salvador! When the f*ck are we supposed to arrive?!"

Salvador, who led the group, turned to see who shouted like a madman down the hill.

"We're almost there, we're making a stop here!" replied the engineer putting his hands, dirty and sticky because of the scented pine resin, to amplify his voice. He almost finished talking when Elvira arrived: her black hair, tied back with a rough bun, had been long time under the burning Sun and now was as hot as fire, what made her sweat terribly. Feeling completely fainted, she fell sharply on a rock covered by the soft moss trying to get some air. She whispered an "I'm OK" with slight sarcasm. The four remaining would reach some time later, being Horatio, the oldest of them, the last.

There would have been less than three kilometers to reach the place where they had agreed to meet; and the rest of the day to walk them. With the Sun on its highest point, it was expected that by after the stop the temperature would begin to drop; but until then they would be placing themselves by the shadow to rest and take some water from a near spring while Salvador corrected their route.

"Salvador, please, tell me it's not much further to arrive" asked Horatio, tired out. He was perhaps the least suitable person for the first expedition: his old legs hurt badly and his knees killed him. He had an awful appearance, conferred by the wet cloth he had over his scant white hair, his tied-up shirt's sleeves and his clothes covered in dust. He was completely red. The only reason why he still stood up on his feet was his stubbornness on keeping an eye on his daughter Elvira, and the military discipline that still remained on his character and kept his mouth shut, reminding him the little thing this was compared with the large hikes he did on service. However, we all have our limitations.

"Don't tell us we didn't warn you" replied the daughter "You couldn't come with mom, could you?"
"Girl, that's the least thing I care about now" and turning to Salvador, he asked for help. He took out his cell phone.
"And pray that there is coverage here" he added.

The second group, coming from nearer villages, was headed to the designed area in a line of stained white, all-terrain vehicles, that went by the road like an air gust, jumping side to side due to the lack of shock absorbers. The third of them, drove by Gerome, received the call.

"Hey"
"Gerome, we need some help here: Horatio seems to have trouble walking, send us a vehicle as quick as you can OK?"
"Right, we're now reaching the place so tell me where you're and once we've taken out the stuff we'll go there"

Elvira stayed with his father while Salvador went down the hill with the three remaining. Unlike Horatio, he, the engineer that rarely got out of his studio in the capital city, seemed to be in his element on the mountain: it was almost inhuman the agility he had to jump over the rocks. Although he was tired by the first ten minutes because of the lack of exercising, it was difficult for the rest to follow his steps, what made him have to stop every other minute; time he used to correct the route. Nobody knew where he took that, and it seemed like he didn't either, but he liked it and it was useful: that was what mattered then. Thus they arrived in less than two hours, with Gerome back.

They didn't make any mistake choosing that place to stay. It was a large zone with no more trees than a hundred-year-old holm oak that imposingly rose over the red land. In the north-west limit, a high hillock not difficult to climb was a perfect watchtower where to make guard and observe with clarity the vast, green valley: from the highest mountains to one of the little affluents of the river Revinuesa where they'd take water. They were surrounded by pines everywhere, and a few hundred of meters away a local road made of cracked asphalt could be sought. The place smell of the intense resin scent, and had an imposing landscape where the villages of Santa InÚs and El Quintanarejo faded away on the horizon.

The rest of the day, about six hours until the sunset, was spent by the twenty-one pioneers -six from the mountain route and the fifteen that were brought by the potency of their gas motors- in building up the camp. The younger ones prepared an improvised tent with large branches and some rope, tightening up the plastic fabric that would be used as roof; while the elderly set up a simple water filter in the river. Once finished, they all looked proud at their work: five large crossed logs in the middle of the air, made a solid and large structure capable of housing all the people for the following weeks. It looked cozy.

When the night took over, they lit up a great bonfire where they cooked some can food while talking about how the journey had been, how amazing the area was, how long it would take to begin some serious work,... They talked about a thousand things until someone threw out a topic that, despite its importance, nobody payed attention at: who would lead the group. The vast majority could only name a person: Salvador.

"And I thank you for that, really, but I can't be, like, commanding and... I just can't"
"Oh come on!" interrupted Elvira "You are who began the project, and there's nobody else who knows these forests as well as you do"
"But I..."
"Shut up Salva!" rudely replied Marc, the foul-mouthed of the hill "We know you can f*cking do it, we've all seen ya and even I would let y'tell me what I've to do"

The rest kept talking about the issue, agreeing in letting Salvador lead them through the pine woods. Reluctantly, the engineer accepted.

***

No one would ever thought that could someday become real, when it all began it was nothing but a joke between Salvador and Francisco. The just set up a quick and simple Internet page, and an hour after it was named on an ecologist message board. Since then it spread out like the flu does in winter, through all the world wide web. By that year's summer the movement had more than fifty people.

Perhaps for fun or the impossibility of going back off, Salvador decided to take what he called "undefined vacation time" on Soria, buying a large estate on the valley to the surrounding municipalities with the benefits of his short career. However, Francisco wasn't of his opinion and dissolved, not painlessly, the engineering studio they had on Polvoranca. The only thing Salvador gave as an answer was a confused look and a slam.

The sixty two members of what have been called "Project Montazul" decided to split in three groups to settle down without big trouble. The first one who would mobilize were Salvador, Elvira, Horatio, Marc; Horatio's wife, Lucretia, and other the other sixteen people who lived closer and were part of the Community of the 150 Villages of the Land of Soria; from where Gerome came. The first ones decided to walk from the bus stop on the village of Vinuesa, while the second group would provide the necessary to survive the first days.

Thus, the Montazul colony was stablished somewhere in the land of the Duero, and nobody knew in that moment what the future had in store for them there.
__________________
I love Plato, but I love Truth more - Aristotle

Last edited by ZenitYerkes; 04-17-2010 at 08:05 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-17-2010, 12:35 PM
ZenitYerkes's Avatar
Karyu
ZenitYerkes - Progress means expanding everyone's freedom
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,329
Default

Finished the first chapter. And this is the last time I post something unfinished.
__________________
I love Plato, but I love Truth more - Aristotle
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-18-2010, 02:18 PM
Sonoran Na'vi's Avatar
Pa'li Makto
Sonoran Na'vi is impatient to continue onto grad school.
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 299
Default

Nicely done. The flow is a little shaky due to the translation, but I think you did a good job of introducing a bit of conflict in the beginning (between Salvador and another person). Conflict is important in story writing.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Visit our partner sites:

      pandoraworld.ru



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:12 PM.

Based on the Planet Earth theme by Themes by Design


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
All images and clips of Avatar are the exclusive property of 20th Century Fox.