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  #1  
Old 03-15-2010, 09:00 AM
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Default Short Poem.

Hey all. I also have written a small poem. It's crappy, I know, but I like it personally.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Do you love me?
Does anybody love me?

I love you.

The pain is killing me.
Who don't you love me?

I love you.

One will die.
All will die.
Love/Life ends.
Everything ends.

I love you.

Do you love me?
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  #2  
Old 03-15-2010, 09:07 AM
Pamtseo Vitra
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I like this a lot, not crappy at all... To me it conveys a sense of (without meaning to cause offence) desparation and of being almost lost.

Excellent poem ma tsmukan.
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  #3  
Old 03-15-2010, 09:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan View Post
I like this a lot, not crappy at all... To me it conveys a sense of (without meaning to cause offence) desparation and of being almost lost.

Excellent poem ma tsmukan.
Thanks a lot.

At the time, I was rather lost, indeed.

I'm glad you like it. <3

It makes me wanna try and write another one.
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:28 AM
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Betrayal.

War is back. Back it is.
War is betrayal.
Once a community. Once friends. Once family.
Now all that is left is hate.

I hurt you.

Pain.

War is back. Back it is.
War is pain.
Knives, guns, needles, words.
Now all that is left is scars.

I'm not sorry.

Blood.

War is back. Back it is.
War is blood.
Blood spiling from the body. From the eyes. From the heart.
The pain of war has it's costs.
Now all that is left is wounds.

It does you good.

Death.

War is back. Back it is.
War is death.
Knives, guns, needles words.
Weapons of the strong, Weapons of the weak. Weapons of the old, Weapons of the young.
Now all that is left is death.

Hear how it screams.

Liberate the moment from time.
Yes, paradise lies under the house.
The door falls closed.

The light...

...goes...

out.






Some parts as written by Rammstein.

Trying to explain how I feel about the AF-ToS issue and things in personal life.
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Old 03-15-2010, 10:34 AM
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Wow. Again, some very powerful stuff. I love your style of writing a lot I can't say exactly why but I do.

Once again, excellent work.
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  #6  
Old 03-15-2010, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan View Post
Wow. Again, some very powerful stuff. I love your style of writing a lot I can't say exactly why but I do.

Once again, excellent work.
Thanks again! Glad to know I don't write as crappy as I thought.
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  #7  
Old 03-15-2010, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Tsmu`kan View Post
Thanks again! Glad to know I don't write as crappy as I thought.
No way! Far, far, far from it!
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  #8  
Old 03-15-2010, 01:05 PM
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Nice... unfortunately, so true for what is going on at the moment too...
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Old 03-15-2010, 01:09 PM
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Nice... unfortunately, so true for what is going on at the moment too...
Yep.
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Old 03-15-2010, 11:41 PM
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Very powerful writing Tsmu'kan! Keep them coming I am enjoying reading your work brother!
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  #11  
Old 03-16-2010, 07:33 AM
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Very powerful writing Tsmu'kan! Keep them coming I am enjoying reading your work brother!
Thanks, bro.
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  #12  
Old 04-27-2010, 06:37 PM
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Great work.
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