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  #1  
Old 08-23-2010, 11:29 PM
Pamtseo Vitra
Fkeu'itan hasn't been here in years.
 
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Location: Aberystwyth, Wales.
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Default Obsidian

Enveloping obsidian,
And skies of jet.
Of acid rain.
Of acid words.

Burn the skin,
Form corrosive pools.
Of endless pound.
Of endless melt.

Stips the fabric of being,
'Till there's little left.
Of broken life.
Of broken mind.

Nothing to take,
No more to live.
Of wanting something.
Of wanting anything.

Anything to bring...
Bring this flame again.
Of dormant state.
Of dormant feel.

Fade to black.
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  #2  
Old 08-24-2010, 11:51 AM
Advent's Avatar
Mother Falcon
Advent is feeling bittersweet
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere home
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan View Post
Enveloping obsidian,
And skies of jet.
Of acid rain.
Of acid words.

Burn the skin,
Form corrosive pools.
Of endless pound.
Of endless melt.

Stips the fabric of being,
'Till there's little left.
Of broken life.
Of broken mind.

Nothing to take,
No more to live.
Of wanting something.
Of wanting anything.

Anything to bring...
Bring this flame again.
Of dormant state.
Of dormant feel.

Fade to black.
Poetic Skillz, good sir.
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  #3  
Old 08-24-2010, 01:26 PM
Fighter-of-Wars's Avatar
Adventurer
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 945
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Great poem. I get this mental image in my head of what you're describing. It's sad.
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  #4  
Old 08-24-2010, 11:50 PM
Human No More's Avatar
Toruk Makto, Admin
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a datacentre
Posts: 11,751
Default

Nice, a bit more abstract than your others but just as deep
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