My P.A.D. is back... - Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum
Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum
Go Back   Tree of Souls - An Avatar Community Forum » Avatar » General Avatar Discussion

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-21-2010, 03:26 AM
Fighter-of-Wars's Avatar
Adventurer
Fighter-of-Wars is alive and well
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 945
Default My P.A.D. is back...

Well, I guess the topic is a little misleading because after I first experienced Avatar I got Euphoria not depression. I guess I was on borrowed time because I got P.A.D. real bad now. Lemme explain.

Day before yesterday was my last day working on this job and all I do on my job is drive so needless to say I have 12 hours to just think. I started thinking about a thread I read on here and one of the posts was talking about how human ears were adapted to hearing acute sounds in the rain-forest and then I read that that ability is atrophying or something and I thought why?

Before Avatar I had always wanted to live a tribal life much like Native Americans did, I talked with many family members about this and got poor responses. I loved the live that I read about in history books, saw in movies, and read in novels. The everyday adventure, challenge for survival, the community. And then that feeling went away for awhile and didn't resurface after I watched Avatar either.

For one reason or another it resurfaced that day, and oh man. I started planning in my head how I was going to change my life, I sat all day driving thinking of how I was going to do it. I was going to develop skills needed for survival in wilderness, where I was going to live at. I figured somewhere in the Canadian Wilderness since that would be the easiest place to get to and would guarantee my plan worked.

These weren't fleeting thoughts either, I was serious. But then, after a few hours of planning I got to where how I was going to leave, what would I say. See way things are planning out for me, I work on the family farm that has been in my family for 3 generations, and I'm next in line. And over these past 80 years all my family has worked there lives to make it what it is now and I'm really close to my family and I thought I would just leave and put a note on the table saying where I went. But then I thought about my dad waking up in the morning to start his day and seeing my note on the table. What would he do? What would the rest of my family do?

And that thought just hurt. My mom said to me the day before to follow my dreams. Because if you don't you'll regret it. I was torn, I love my family and my dad very much but the thought of leaving them behind was almost too much. But then I pushed that thought aside and thought about the life in the wilderness with the freedom. But again my plan came rushing to a halt, I thought about what Jake said in Avatar. "I fell in love with the forest, and the Omaticaya people, and with you"

And that just did it, I knew I would love to be in the forest with the challenge of fighting for life everyday but I would be alone, no one, there would be no community of friends, no family, just me. No one to share my freedom with, no one to share the thrill of the hunt, the joy of the catch, the warmth of a fire. And that's when I knew that it wasn't just the forest, it was the people. And I knew it would never work.

Now, I feel trapped. I can't get out, I can't stay. A few times the thought of yeah.... entered my head but then the thought of what would happen to my family would stop me...

I can't see in my head living this life till the end of my days. Not farming in general but modern living.

Getting up, working, sleeping. There is no adventure of bringing in the kill, there is no community working together to help each other through the winter, there is no dance around the fire at night to celebrate living.

People say that Native Americans did well to just get by and that people now a days actually get a chance to live and do what we want. I think its the other way around.

Native Americans lived everyday they laughed with friends at the evenings campfire, they swam in the rivers and fished, the list goes on and on. We just survive this day so we can make it to the weekends to try and pack enough excitement and fun into those 2 days to make up for the lame of the other 5.

I just can't stand it. I hate it. The thought of this dullness going on till the day I die.

Sure, people say life is what you make of it, but what does a man have to work with? Jump back 300 years, there were tribes out on the plains, there was no boundaries, you could drive your stake anywhere and call it home. You could carve a living yourself almost anywhere.

Today, it's just not the same. You have to go to either frozen tundra, scorching desert, Cold Northern forest, humid rain-forest that's thousand of miles away. And even after that you will still be alone, because no one else will be willing to go with you.

Sorry if this post just dragged on to long, I had to get these feelings out, I could sit here and type for a few more hours about what I have been feeling but then the few who will read this much will go, "No way dude."
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-21-2010, 03:56 AM
Tsyal Makto's Avatar
Tsulfätu
Tsyal Makto glad to be home!
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Body - Chicago, Spirit - Pandora
Posts: 1,873
Default

Oél ngáti kámeie, ma tsmukan. I am in the exact same dilemma. I want to live in the wild, too, but I fear how my family will react. I need to follow my dreams, but I can't stand the thought of hurting them, if they react badly. There is only one career in the modern world that I could ever do, and that is airline pilot, and that is because of the freedom of flight. However, with the way the industry is, and the way automation is going, I fear I may never get that chance. This is the only job in modern society that I think I could handle long term, and I know the fear of being forced to waste my life on a career I do not want to do. So now I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place - either answer the call of the wild, and risk hurting my family, or betray my dreams for the sake of my family. It's a feeling - a squeeze -that I know all too well.

And living in the wild isn't as lonely as it would seem. There are a lot of like-minded people that rewild together. Google around a little bit and I'm sure you'll find a few. In fact, people from AF formed one, called The Revolutionists. I joined, and from the sounds of it, you sound like you'd be a great addition to us.

But yes, the wild is calling. I just hope I can answer it.
__________________


The Dreamer's Manifesto

Mike Malloy, a voice of reason in a world gone mad.

"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." - Inception

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Tyler Durden

Last edited by Tsyal Makto; 07-21-2010 at 08:31 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-21-2010, 04:19 AM
Sky Person
Sadao has no status.
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Erth
Posts: 10
Send a message via MSN to Sadao Send a message via Skype™ to Sadao
Default

I strongly reccommend this site for your P.A.D Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible. Part 4
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-21-2010, 07:04 AM
caveman's Avatar
Tsamsiyu
caveman dreams...
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: The Heart
Posts: 646
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadao View Post
I strongly recommend this too.
__________________
Stay thirsty my friends...
C V M N
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-21-2010, 08:24 AM
Oliver's Avatar
Taronyu
Oliver has no status.
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: denmark, spirit: pandora
Posts: 369
Send a message via MSN to Oliver Send a message via Skype™ to Oliver
Default

Fighter-of-Wars

It's the same with me.. i also wanna live in the forest.. but yes! how will the familiy react? and no one, wanna take with me..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-21-2010, 01:15 PM
Pamtseo Vitra
Fkeu'itan hasn't been here in years.
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Aberystwyth, Wales.
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via Skype™ to Fkeu'itan
Default

I think many of us here feel the same way FoW. I know I do too.

Constantly being told your dreams aren't practical, realistic or ever achievable hurts in ways no one can comprehend. Forever being crushed and destroying the most sensitive parts of the soul. Just makes you wonder what the point of continuing on is, if you can never really feel life, just - like you say - forever making up for lost time. In this country, there aren't even places you can escape to for a good couple of days to have a taste of real freedom. You can never escape it.

I would consider it. I really would. If people were willing to join me, I would seriously think about just upping sticks and leaving. Sadly, I can't see this ever happening.

I recently got a job. Now, it's a great job. Involves a lot of outdoors work and helping the environment but it also involves timetables, dress codes, paperwork, hours, shifts, rates of pay... just like any other job.
Here's something I wrote in my journal yesterday.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan's Journal
Order.

Brutal, unforgiving, relentless order.
Order that will strip you of your soul, your love, your life. And give you in return, money.

Perhaps i'm being overly melo-dramatic about this. Indeed, what i'm working towards is freedom. [Talking about my Borneo volunteering trip] But only temporary freedom. Fixed term.

I don't know why, but it all feels like life has passed. Now it's time to settle in for monotony and nothing else.
Pretty much describes how I feel about the world and the rest of my life prospects right now... Seems that life isn't for living anymore.
__________________
"When the time comes, just walk away and don't make any fuss."
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-21-2010, 01:33 PM
ISV Venture Star's Avatar
Nawmtu
ISV Venture Star has no status.
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,110
Send a message via Skype™ to ISV Venture Star
Default

I'm feeling it again too. So here I am, back on an Avatar forum after many months away.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-21-2010, 02:36 PM
TxonTirea's Avatar
Nawmtu
TxonTirea is reminiscing.
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,192
Default

Strangely enough, my PAD has kept clear. I know exactly how you feel though, having felt exactly the same thing when I had PAD. You said that you're thinking of going and living somewhere in the wilderness? My advice: Take a trip there, I think Fkeu'itan is, and I'm sure you could too. I wish I could! Also, try to spice up your life (I know this may sound obvious, but loads of people don't do it.) Try stuff you've never done, do things you thought you'd never do. "Break the Cycle".
I hope you start feeling better, but most people here are actually starting to MISS being this connected to Avatar. You may or may not count yourself lucky. <3
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-21-2010, 05:59 PM
Fosus's Avatar
Tsulfätu
Fosus can not has status.
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Finland
Posts: 1,569
Send a message via Skype™ to Fosus
Default

Fighter-of-Wars.. Please wait just a few more years. And then.. I'll come with you
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-21-2010, 11:15 PM
Fighter-of-Wars's Avatar
Adventurer
Fighter-of-Wars is alive and well
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 945
Default

Thanks for all the advice everyone, I think the best thing for me to do since I am so close to my family but also want the forest is to find a happy medium. I might not have as much of the wild as I want but I will still have my family.

All of your responses have helped me search for a solution, I hope that this will be enough.

Maybe find a place around here that has a "backwoods" that I can go into when I feel the calling but still be close to home. That still won't get me away from modern society, but, the more time I spend there, the less I will see of modern society. I just will have to make it work.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 07-22-2010, 02:53 AM
caveman's Avatar
Tsamsiyu
caveman dreams...
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: The Heart
Posts: 646
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ISV Venture Star View Post
I'm feeling it again too. So here I am, back on an Avatar forum after many months away.
This happened to me way back in February. I posted "my last post", but soon PAD grew and grew until I had to return a couple weeks later. The reason: I never learned my lessons. PAD is a learning experience.

Avatar showed us a life with every fundamental aspect to living a healthy, happy life. If you long for this life, if you have PAD, you need to learn how to develop these aspects into your own life.

If you are coming back here because of PAD, it means you are still missing something in your life that is depicted in Avatar. I recommend you join that thread, myself and other members can help recognize what you need to be happy, with or without Pandora. Hope that helps; I know what its like, I've had re-occurring PAD experiences this whole time. I'm still searching for that something that's missing....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan View Post
I recently got a job. Now, it's a great job. Involves a lot of outdoors work and helping the environment but it also involves timetables, dress codes, paperwork, hours, shifts, rates of pay... just like any other job.
I think a different perspective might make working easier, and more enjoyable. You have a great job it sounds like, but there are faults. I know how you feel, not so much about the job, but just wanting to get away from "the system" and "the rules". (This is for you too FoW) But I think its important to understand the positives that come out of all this. You working, even if it has its faults, allows you to make a difference. That's great. What's more? Using this system can help you escape the system. I know a lot of people, most people for that matter work all week so they can enjoy going out and doing the things they want to on weekends. So as tough as working and being around modern society is, you can use it as a tool to get out of it. Work so you can afford to travel or take survival classes or just go camping.

I understand, modern society can be a b!tch, but it can also be a valuable tool to living the way you want to. You just have to learn how to use this tool while avoiding the disadvantages and safety hazards. Get what I'm saying.

As much as I want to get away from the corporate world, I know it is probably my only way of getting to the destinations I want to go to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan View Post
Seems that life isn't for living anymore.
I know what ya mean. I keep saying this: "living is feeling". Think about it, if you can't feel anything -physically or emotionally - then you're dead. The only way we know we're alive is by feeling the world around us. So what I'm getting at is our society is moving towards more and more numbness, moving towards death. You need to find a way to always be feeling. Even if it means splashing water on your face after a day at the office. I'm going to stop now because I could go on all day about what "living" is, but I understand you friend.

Hope that helps everybody!
__________________
Stay thirsty my friends...
C V M N
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Visit our partner sites:

      pandoraworld.ru



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:14 AM.

Based on the Planet Earth theme by Themes by Design


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
All images and clips of Avatar are the exclusive property of 20th Century Fox.