(This was written from my journal that I brought around with me and wrote today)

I don't know anymore. I dont know what to feel. The movie was... indescribable. Unexplainable. I cried throughout pretty much the entire movie. Now, the movie's over, the life I dreamed, wished, I lived is replaced by credits, and now, I sit in my chair, unsure. Who am I? Why am I here? What is this I'm feeling right now? I stumbled out of the theater after the end credits were finished and everyone left. I sulked to my car, feeling dead. Now I sit here. I have a chance to sneak out to the rave, but I dont feel like it. I don't want to go home with my family, I dont want to be anywhere except Pandora. I don't know what to think or do. I'm a bit scared honestly. I don't feel like doing anything. It's taking a bit of strength to write this, but I'm thinking of when I look back at this in the future. I'm crying now. I just wish I had someone physically near me in bed who truly understood me I can embrace and just open my heart up and have her listen truly and intently. I just want to be away from here. So after the movie I just drove down a major street east. I drove until there was nothing but industry, big buildings and factories. I've never been there, but I didn't care. I felt as if I had nowhere else to go.

I had no idea my feelings have slowly slipped from me, and I'm just so... unsure. Music from the movie running through my head. Beautiful new scenes playing throughout my mind... its overwhealming me, just like the first night, but I know what all this is.

I'll write more later, I just don't feel motivated to do anything now, it all seems worthless. My PAD returned and hit me again with its hardest blow.

Welcome home

What i wouldn't give to experience that right now! The SE is months away (if it ever comes out) in Sweden, and im still saving myself from watching the Blue Ray because i want to be as amased as possible when i finally see it.

Hope you feel better soon! Atleast you can comfort yourself with the fact that a lot of people are probably feeling the same way as you are rigth now.

Always remember that there are people here at TOS who you can talk to. I can't say as I got the same emotional feelings after watching the movie, but it really made me stop and think of what humanity is doing to itself, and their beloved Mother Earth. I know what you are going through, mate
It's good in a way that you are feeling this, AVATAR has succeeded in opening your eyes, Stanley_9875. Now you really SEE, just as Neytiri taught Jake.
I too long for a world like Pandora but it's not too late to save our world either, and she's crying out to us. Folks like you will make a difference.
Pull yourself together and be strong.

Eywa ngahu ma Stanley_9875

Tey'Kan

I see you Stanley

I feel exactly the same... Everything is back, PAD is so strong right now... and that makes me happy.

Stanley, I recently spoke with another member about this, and I'll share with you what I shared with them.

This is a good time to reflect on all that has happened, all that you've changed in the past 8 months. I believe that the road from depression to happiness is just that - a road, a journey. So if you're feeling depressed now, you should ask yourself: "how far down that road did I really go?"

I firmly believe that the meaning of life is to be happy. If you think about it, all of our actions and decisions are motivated towards the pursuit of happiness. So knowing the importance of happiness, we should recognize what happiness is. This might sound obvious, but few will ever know: happiness is a state of mind. When you watch Avatar, when you are suddenly transported to Pandora, you feel happy. So I think you need to ask yourself: "Am I searching for Pandora, or the feeling I have when I get there?"

The reason I bring all this up is because happiness is tangible. It is a possible goal that can be achieved anywhere. But remember it is a state of mind, not a physical destination. So you need to start with the inside - your heart, your mind, your spirit. External factors - proven time and time again - have very little to do with happiness. This would include anything from money to cars to what planet your on.

I hope this gives you some encouragement; your dream for a better life is very possible.

Oel ngati kameie so much on this one Stan...

I am definitely experiencing some PAD myself after last night. But I don't just want to sit here and sulk about it. I didn't honestly expect to come home from the Avatar: SE and not feel a little depressed. I brought it on myself, and hey, I kind of wanted it. I wanted PAD...and now I have it, just like you, and everyone else who saw Avatar yesterday.

PAD is subconsciously what we want and expect to get after we see Avatar. If you don't feel like Eywa carved a hole in your heart after viewing...it just wouldn't be Avatar.

Stanley, what I'm trying to get at is that this whole PAD situation is normal. Enjoy the depression while it last, because like most cases of depression...it will only be temporary.

I feel like that is a dangerous addiction. Sure, I felt it too. I've tried dipping in and out of depression because for whatever reason I wanted to. But I don't think that is a positive way to spend you time - being depressed or wishing you were depressed...

I'm not really depressed (SE brought out anger in me more than anything), but I still remember what I went through back in January, what you are going through know. So while I don't have much else to add, I can at least say, with all honesty, I See You.

I agree with caveman. The PAD kind of depression is a marker, a sign of something awakened in ourselves that needs to be fulfilled. It acts as a signal to get us moving to fulfill that destiny. It is one half of a cycle that holds great joy. It is therefore natural to want to experience that cycle as fully as possible, to want the personal transformation it promises. But to want only the depression part of the cycle is to miss out on its real glory. It would be like wanting a life of chipping endlessly at rocks, without ever knowing about or seeing the wonderful statues that that process should produce.

i see you Stan....

i mightnot have seen the rerelease yet, because i cant, but i often lay in my bed, wishing that someone is there with me... who understands me, who accepts me for who i am....

PAD is a marker, for sure... sure it is depressing, but i am pretty sure that most people here wants that feeling, they miss it.


i personally cant wait to see the rerelease.

I need to find a path in my life. that's for sure.

how and when... only time can tell.... same goes for when that person who will be beside me comes.


Oel Ngati Kameie Stan

Wow this is the clearer answer I see, since the time I am in this community, I hope it help Stanley, at lease it have clear my view of the thing.

Thank you

Yes, all well said and I agree. Hang in there, Stanley! Your clan is here for you, my friend.
Oel ngati kameie, tsmukan.

Why is it dangerous? You've read my thread... you know that without PAD, I would probably have given up on everything by not, not just recently, but when I first felt it...

Perhaps, but for me, what awakened is true knowledge of myself... who I really am, where I belong. There's nothing I can do on Earth about that...
you say about statues... but what if we have no need, no desire to produce them? What if we just want to do what we feel is right?

^This

Correct