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Old 05-07-2010, 06:58 AM
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Default I Almost Snapped Today At Work

I know a lot of you are from other parts of the world and not sure if the same phrases are thrown around like my title I almost snapped... snapped means lost control, just had enough, I can't take it anymore, just letting things build up until their breaking point, ect. ect. I've talked to a few people around here asking if they feel appreciative at their jobs, and most answers were, "no I don't, I only remember getting one thanks" and lots of responses like those. Well today I'm working as usual... I work at a trucking company scanning paperwork, and the scanning process is slow... Click, click, click, enter, enter pro number and click save, wait... click okay, wait... click "X" for that sheet and repeat process... and the waiting is pretty long. So I bring in my Avatar journal (AKA just my everyday journal since my life pretty much revolves around everything Avatar related lol), read fanfics I printed out, downsize my internet screen so I can surf here while having the loading bar at the bottom of the screen visible so when its done I can continue on with the mind numbing routine... its only a couple more months till I graduate college.

Anyways today I was writing in my journal, and then I got a tap on the shoulder (at this point its a big stack of papers and the bigger the stack the longer the waiting, so I knew this would take a while) I turned around to see it was one of the women I don't normally talk to but know and she looked at me and said, "Nows not a time for homework, you need to be caught up on scanning and continue your work" and then she left before I could say anything (side note: also my boss is out on vacation). I grit my teeth and mumbled underneath my breath but put the notebook away and just sat there staring at the screen waiting. after a couple more scans I got frustrated of not doing crap, so I logged on to ToS and began PMing someone, and I would copy and paste what they said onto wordpad so I'm not technically on the internet lol (I know I'm playing with fire) but again small screen so I can see the loading bar. I'm sitting there reading and then I get another tap on the shoulder and its the same lady again. "I'm serious, get OFF the internet... this is your final warning or this is going on your record... get back to scanning" then she turned and walked away. Heres what I wrote in my notebook after she left...

Quote:
I swear to you if these people here aren't careful with what they say next to me I fear (In a way) I'm going to snap... not snap like bring a gun to work or anything but snap as if in get up in the person(s) face and yelling till my lungs give up, letting my mind out right in their face... my heart is racing, my hands are as steady as a pole that collided into another pole, I can feel the blood in my body flowing throw my veins faster than they've been in a while... the adrenaline of just walking into the persons office, slamming my hand on their desk, shove everything... I mean everything... out off the desk, and say I've had enough of their (explicit word, could be more than one). Just scream two inches from their face how I truly feel about my position, my pay, and how much I feel about them and their (again more than one explicit word). I hate to say this next part (it truly hurts me emotionally) but I had to grab a pen and use the opposite end of the tip and use the rough edge to scratch my arm, not to the point of bleeding, but just to release this anger that I cannot release right now. My fevers beyond boiling point and theres nothing I can do with all this anger... I think back to the scene in Fight Club when the main character begins to beat the living daylights out of himself in front of his boss... "under and behind and inside everything this man (in my case woman) takes for granted something terrible had been growing"
Looking back on it, having a couple hours to think on it I hate to see myself like that and I'm sure it pains you too to see me like that... I hate myself when I'm like that, but its not the whole fact of her telling me to log of whatever and scan, its the whole fact she's unappreciative. I've never heard a thank you from her, I've only gotten like one or two thanks for the year and a half I've been working there. All I get is "you need to work harder, your not working fast enough, I need these done now..." I'm never good enough there for anyone.

Sorry wow that felt good to get out. I'm a lot better now it's just in the heat of the moment my mind runs wild
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:27 AM
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Oh, I'm really sorry for your situation at work... and I know your situation, I've been in the same position. I can't really give any help or advice - but I understand exactly how you feel...

Hang in there, ma tsmukan.
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eltu View Post
Oh, I'm really sorry for your situation at work... and I know your situation, I've been in the same position. I can't really give any help or advice - but I understand exactly how you feel...

Hang in there, ma tsmukan.
^^^^^ This. I'm sending positive energy and prayers to you Stanley 'cuz I too understand how you feel, completely...
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:41 AM
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Thank you both so much I feel a lot better now... I'll post again tomorrow morning when I wake up it's just everything crashed down on me at once but I'm better now
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:45 AM
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I'm not quite sure what to say..
It's good that you didn't actually snap, but maybe you could take all your frustrations out on something, like one of those stress balls..
The incident didn't sound like much, maybe there's been lots of things that have been stressful and that rose to the surface today..
I hope you don't feel like that tomorrow though Stanley *crosses fingers*
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:48 AM
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Hey Stanley, I figured this picture would make you laugh a bit... Here ya go and enjoy!




Quote:
Originally Posted by Pa'li Makto
I'm not quite sure what to say..
It's good that you didn't actually snap, but maybe you could take all your frustrations out on something, like one of those stress balls..
The incident didn't sound like much, maybe there's been lots of things that have been stressful and that rose to the surface today..
I hope you don't feel like that tomorrow though Stanley *crosses fingers*
I completely agree with her and I hope so too... If not, you always have us to rely on and have people to talk to!
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Old 05-07-2010, 07:56 AM
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well you really should be doing your work.....


JKJKJK im not that kind of ass.... you know i love you stan *hugs*
I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN JOBS XD

ok anyway.... is your boss good to you? or is this mean lady person like filling in or what?
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Old 05-07-2010, 08:24 AM
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I know how you feel.
Last friday in school some people were just being complete idiots, and i tried not to just attack them. I ended up almost scratching one of my good friends about an hour later, but then i got to go home and walked.
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Old 05-07-2010, 08:54 AM
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I'll keep this brief since I'm on my phone.

Stanley, I know how you feel, I'm under appreciated for my job constabtly. Though for me the fact that I enjoy what I do helps. For you just remember you only have a few months left. Also, next time I would approach the lady and say yesterday wasn't a good day and you weren't as productive as you could have been and possibly mention how each scan takes long to finish.

She should appreciate you talking to her unless she's a total bitch lol. Or if you hate it that much get out of there and find something you really like. Maybe get in with a shop to start a relationship with the owner. Just don't let yourself be miserable.
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Old 05-07-2010, 10:10 AM
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Ahh, dont worry about her, just let out the anger. What ever works, whether its typing here or breaking something or even yelling at someone. I almost snapped also once at uni. I was in the library studying when a bunch of people started talking loud. They left before I did. Anyway, hopefully you feel better now BTW if something annoys me, I just listen to some angry music and it helps.
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Old 05-07-2010, 10:28 AM
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This may or may not help you Stanley_9875 but here's my story and 2 cents

Back in 2005 right after I got done with high school I took a job with a local car dealership in the service dept. What helped me get this job was my best friend, who was hired a few weeks before and gave the service manager a good word for me. When I got the job it was like a dream come true, getting paid to work on vehicles which I've always enjoyed doing and still do. The first few weeks were absolutely incredible cause I was working alongside my best friend and would gain new responsibilities as I proved my abilities. The dream job one could say, but not so fast.

Working as a dealer tech can be ungodly stressful at times. Competition for easy work, flat rate, cars that should have been done the second the customer drops them off, and thankless managers can take it's toll on a person. I found myself becoming more aggressive towards people and having the attitude of "f*** the other guy". My friend was also changing into the same person, and it was getting to the point we would get pissed at each other due to the tension of working together in the same environment.

Over time things were slowly coming to a boil I guess you could say. Then the day happened, I snapped. It was late in the day (5:45, service shuts down @ 7) I was doing ball joints on a truck, and my bud was doing a transmission r&r on a suv. Normally I would jump in and help on something like this cause lining the bellhousing bolt holes up can be a pain but I had to get this truck out the door so I couldn't. After getting it to line up he turns to me and says "Thanks a lot, I really appreciated the help" in the most sarcastic down speaking town I've ever heard, from anyone. After hearing this I threw a 3/8" drive ratchet into the bay door so hard the noise it made froze the entire shop in it's tracks. Next I yelled obscenities slammed my box shut and the last words I remember saying were "f*** this" and walked out.

Latter that night I cooled off and realized the stress and anger this job was causing me. But more importantly, the fact I may loose my best friend over it. The next day I gave my 2 weeks and wrapped things up in the service dept. I made amends with my bud and were still best friends till this day

I guess the moral of the story is don't let yourself get to that point. Talk it over at the end of the day with the lady, if she respects you she will realize that your a hard worker and won't give you anymore grief. If talking things through wont help, well it sounds like you might need to reconsider the job kinda like I did^ (not telling you to quit, but in my situation I had to)
Quote:
I've never heard a thank you from her, I've only gotten like one or two thanks for the year and a half I've been working there. All I get is "you need to work harder, your not working fast enough, I need these done now..." I'm never good enough there for anyone.
That's just a shame This might seem kinda cheesy but I'm going to try and cheer you up. Thanks for the good job tsmukan. It might not mean anything coming from me, but it can't hurt, right?
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Old 05-07-2010, 03:28 PM
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Boy oh boy, Stanley, can I relate to this thread. I could write pages. But I'll give you the short version since I know you're probably watching that scanning progress bar!

I used to be in IT - information technology. I was a programmer analyst - and I worked hard to get to that job, having started as a computer operator doing shift work on weekends. But one mother of a project came along and the bozo I was working for decided to make points with his bosses and make our whole department work a mandatory 50 hour week, with no end in sight. On top of this, because I'm a bit of a clever geek and self-teach well, I became his fair-haired boy (what there is of it) and he wanted me to work a bunch of time on the weekends too. All of this is happening when I'm trying to finish work on my condo, not to mention work on a major hobby project that meant a lot to me. It also kept me away from my cat Hobie, who was my best friend in the world at that time. So the work went on and on, and I got more and more dragged down. It came to a head one late night during the week when a whole team of us were staying late to test a part of the project that was giving us big problems. I had worked really hard on my program code that would fix things. But my boss, without telling me, had one of his former fair haired boys at the last office he worked at in the company - completely different location - work up a solution of his own. Mind you that this bozo boss of mine was one of those climb his way to the top on the backs of others kind of guy. Wonderful fellow. Anyway, on the night of the big test, he pushed through his former buddy's solution rather than mine, publicly demonstrating a complete disregard for my effort and credibility to the team. I did not sleep at all that night. My first thought the next day was to go in and have a word with the next fellow up in the chain of command. Someone that was a bit of a jerk too, but had been reasonable in the past. Occasionally! Anyway, once I got started, I found I could not stop. I just talked and talked until it became a red faced yelling incident, and it wasn't even an argument. The details were unimportant. I'd snapped. I left work, went to the doctor, and then took time off on my own accord. Stress stinks.

Things at work were very turbulent for the next several months, and there was finally a confrontation that was the last straw for the camel's back, at which point I realized that this was stupid. I was the one in charge of my life, not this job or these ayskxawg that called themselves leaders. So I secretly planned to sell my condo, and a few months later I did so, making about $65,000 in profit. I promptly gave the finger to New England winters and notice to my employer, and moved to Arizona, taking over a year to get settled into the "right job." They never are, though.

There have been other examples even since of so-called leaders in my life demonstrating that the Peter Principle is 100% valid. Google it, if you don't recognize it.

The good thing for you, Stanley, is that you also have a bunch of people here quite fond of you, and lots of support. You're smart enough to get things off your chest and not hold them in. One thing I will share, though, is that it seems to me that it's rare to find a boss that knows it's important to thank his or her people for their efforts. Daily, if possible. With only two months to go, you'll soon be in another position. The thing to do? Develop a bit of an alligator skin and realize that the most important thanks you get is that paycheck. It's the way business works. It's impersonal and unfeeling, but then again, that can be said of a lot of things in this world. When I was down, I realized that I was the one that needed to manage my feelings, and to find ways to cope and adjust. When that works, and it doesn't work all the time, I do feel better. The key is to find a happy medium, a way to fly straight and level.....and remember illegitimi non carborundum. Freely translated: Don't let the bastards wear you down.

Good luck, Stanley.

Did you say you were graduating from college in two months?
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Old 05-07-2010, 03:39 PM
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Thanks a lot again you guys ... I just wish I didn't post this now haha it's just last night I was still a little upset, so when I posted this I felt better but now I feel I should've left some stuff out of the post like the pen, trust me I dont know what I was thinking, it was like two scratches and was like, "ouch, well that was stupid" I'm just afraid you all will think of me unstable or one who cuts himself to feel better and I'm not that person, it's just I feel like i'm. A different person at work. Like when people ask me how my day was I say, "at work or the rest of my day?" like looking back on it it's like sure maybe I should've gotten in trouble for using the interent, but it's the fact she's never grateful. Oh well I can't go back now I'm just sorry to you all I put this on you and maybe burdened your heart in someway possibly thinking I'm unstable or something. If I wasn't on my iTouch I would quote each of you and thank yu but this thanks goes out to all of you for putting up with me and my pathetic life lol I just can't wait till I get a job doing what I love... Working on cars. If I do something I love I don't let anything affect me, but if I'm at someplace I don't like with some people I don't want to talk to doing something I don't like... I just need to post encouraging messages around me desk. Again i'm sorry and thanks fir everything trust me I'm better now some poeople have it worse off than me so I better accept it and make the best of it
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Old 05-07-2010, 03:45 PM
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hey Stan!! i just read this and it realy upset me i cannot believe they would treat you this way.. it is not fair!! i mean work places are supposed to be easy on people, but NOOO they treat us like we are their slaves. we dont even get paid enough and we have to put up with such bullcrap.. i would of wanted to slap this woman across the face and tell her to F*** herself cause that is what she deserves !! im sick of people treating others this way! i really am sorry to hear about this Stan.. and i hope theres a way to solve it! i know ur journal entry seemed angry, but i dont blame you for it.. i sense it as something that has to come out when angry.. or you will just snap further.. its like therapy!! i agreed with you to be honest.. about the anger thing.. wow.. i cannot believe this woman here.. such a b*tch

we are here for you *hugs*
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Old 05-07-2010, 03:55 PM
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Strong hearts suffer long, yet are kind.

Don't snap. Don't grab a pen and scratch your arm, or destroy everything in your office. Don't yell at anyone.

Don't let hatred and rage take over your heart.

Try to fix things talking, not kicking. If you do so you'll be fired, game over; just try to do something else before reaching that point of no return.

Also, psycologists say that people who tend to express themselves aggresively aren't confident enough to try other ways of doing so, like if the only way they had to convince the rest was pointing them with a gun at their faces.

So, try to breath deep, count to ten and see if this has any kind of solution before you try out the last option: snapping.
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