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Well yes, that sounds like depression to me. I know that for a long time. I felt a lot differently in the past months though - sometimes happy, but often sad and afraid - still more emotional and more feeling something. Right now, I am feeling it slip and I feel depression coming back, so I have to find a way to hang on to what state I was in the past months. It's odd that for me, the time other people perceive as PAD is a time in which I actually felt better. I am glad that for you, true happiness is possible again - this is a precious thing. I do not know, if I am there yet. So probably, I have an even longer way to go... So I guess, we'd better be going then ;)
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The funny thing is with me, the movie wouldn't have been as good if I wasn't s heavily affected by depression after seeing it. Any movie that changes someone is beyond doubt a truly special film.
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Well, when I give advice like "let PAD grow" its also directed towards me. I am like most of you, still feeling PAD. Still struggling with wanting it, and just wanting to be happy. Life has been really tough after Avatar, and all the things before Avatar that left me so vulnerable to PAD. I feel as if I will never be truely happy. Sometimes I feel really happy for no reason, but it is often short lived. There is a constant reminder that I don't live there. Today something really depressing happened. I thought to myself "I can't wait to be home"....I was in my kitchen. I was home. It really sucked.
Well, untill next time, I guess I'll just be riding this emotional roller coaster like I always do. |
Identifying the things that make this place "not home" goes a long way to finding home.
I suggest the works of Daniel Quinn, don Miguel Ruiz, and Alan Watts. If you're especially daring, Terence McKenna has a lot of good stuff going on. It's not hopeless. |
I see you, caveman. I also get some random and usually short lived spurts of happiness for no reason that I can identify. More often I feel sad, though. So I do not know what is going on there, it is part of my self-exploration to find out why and how this works that way.
And I also know that feeling of waiting for something. Like to "go home" while I am at home. Or like I say "ah, this works for now, must last only for some more time until I can go". I think this kind of stuff may be the result of our hectic and stressful society that rushes us along. To go on and on and on. new jobs, new homes, new responsabilities, new environments all the time. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe it is something different. It feels odd and strange though. And while right now it seems to be Avatar related, I know all of these things from before... |
Caveman, you know I see you. Here I am, pointing to you at your heart, and saying, "This is your home." When you find that, the place that your body happens to be located becomes something for you to play with, not something that dictates who you are.
For me, Avatar helped me come back to that home. I am now sufficient within myself. Instead of looking for the world to provide me with something, now I have the strength to give back to the world. Avatar and even PAD contributed to that. I am thinking about rhythm these days, about ebbs and flows within living. Becoming attuned to rhythms helps me know when to give and when to receive. |
Thanks Sempu. Really, thanks. I don't know where I'd be without you.
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That is a great way to say it, Sempu. This sounds very much right. Sadly, I have not found it truely, but I am much closer to it now with all that I experienced in the past months (in the aftermath of the movie).
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I might just be repeating old words here, but if a movie can honestly put you through depression thinking about it wishing it was real then it is a damn excellent movie.
I went through the PAD for about two weeks before finding AF and ToS, it may have made me feel bad but it's made me a better person than I was I just can't see any way I can go back to my old life it's like a one way portal, I've gone through the portal now I can't get back through it I'm stuck in a whole new world now and to be honest I don't even want to go back through the portal. :D |
I know exactly what you mean... it's such a change, and I'm glad it happened, even if there are days when it makes me really down.
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I'll have to say that the best treatment for PAD has to be trying to make your world a better more pandoran place.
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No matter what happens, just don't suicide. You won't see the sequel! :glol::glol:
...just joking so take it easy ;) |
While at the library today I was studying and decided to take a break. While studying I was listening to the Avatar soundtrack and so when I took a break I closed my eyes and tried to picture the bioluminescent forest. I got so into it that it brought back the depression and when I opened my eyes I was back at the library, sitting in my chair. And since Avatar has stopped showing in cinemas near me, I have to wait a while for the August re-release which made me more sad :'( I'll just have to keep looking at pictures, the art book and play the game to take me back to Pandora.
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