Lonliness.
 

I realise I asked for some support no so long ago, but I really hope you're willing to give me some more.

I'm so lonely.

I just need someone to hold me, to love me so that I can love them back. I have never had a relationship and I really want one, a true one. Not for the superficial things. Not so I can boast about what my partner has that yours doesn't as many people do these days, but so that I can love someone.

I need someone who accepts me for who I am, someone who Sees me and I do in return. I don't understand why people keep away from me so much. I'm a kind, gentle and loving soul, willing to give so much, yet no one seems interested in me in the slightest.

Maybe these are impossible needs to fulfill in today's society, I just don't know.

I just feel utterly rejected at the moment... :'(

Edit: I don't feel up to the task of posting at the moment, I will have to check back later.

really quiet boy soon find your soul mate :) to me right now happens to me almost two years as I have no partner. I can not find anyone who can appreciate me as I am or maybe I'm so obsessed with me locate someone who wants to direct my conscience rejects :(but I encourage you to keep on looking for that person because sooner or later come :)

lol your sig so wants me to get to pandora .. INSTANTLY , the purple and blueish colours make my mind go crazy lol (in a good way :P)

Oel ngati kameie :'(

Neytiri made me realise just how lonely I am. I've had one relationship before but it really wasn't good, didn't last long. Wasn't in any way meaningful, at the time I hadn't even thought about who I really wanted to be with. I'm just not at all interested in another like it. I need to find the right person for me, she needs to See.

...I need my Neytiri :'(

People are interested in you, they just fear the reaction you will give them if they ask an unusual question, like, "Will you go out with me?"

I know this is easier said than done, but, if you'd really like to find somebody to love and for them to love you back, your best option is to ask those you love on a date of some kind. Perhaps just a quick walk through the park, or a cup of coffee. Anything which will bring you closer. Seeing a movie like Avatar together is a great option as well.

As James Cameron says, nothing is worse than fear itself.

I wish I knew ANYONE like that... I really don't. All my female friends are either in a relationship, and the fact that I wouldn't really be interested anyway. They're fine as friends, but not anyone who could ever See :'(

Thanks everyone, it has helped me out immensely. I unfortunately am in the same situation as HNM, all my female friends are either in a relationship or not what i'm seeking.

I suppose the only option is to actually get out of the house and meet people...

@HNM, Fkeu'itan: I'm in the same situation as you, guys. I had two relationships in the past, the first one was good but it broke up for a really stupid reason (my girlfriend and I were quite far from each other) and the second one didn't last for long since she couldn't See me at all.

I'm desperately looking for my Neytiri, but I can say that this forum and all people here have seriously relieved a bit my need of being understood. This is a true blessing for me, and I don't know how my life could be without all of you.

Oel ayngati kameie!

That really sucks Tudhaylas, i'm sorry to hear that. I too am still searching, but unfortunately, it might be for quite a while.

I feel exactly the same way about this community;

Earlier I felt like crap, like life wasn't really worth living, but as usual everyone here helped lift me out of the hole. I can honestly say from my heart and soul that you truly are some of the only people to See me. I still feel a little bit down, but thanks everyone. I don't know what i'd do without you guys.

Oel ayngati kameie ma aysmukan si aysmuke, ulte irayo.

[QUOTE]Fkeu'itan, I got misty-eyed reading this :(. I know exactly how you feel. For years, I felt the same way. I had friends who were guys. In fact, I have a very good friend who is a guy but no one who could truly be my soulmate. For years I didn't understand why anyone would take an interest in me. I have bad self-confidence issues, especially concerning my physical appearance. I usually received abuse from guys. Especially when I was in HS. In my 20's, I did have two relationships but they were short lived and didn't go anywhere. I had just about given up on finding my soulmate until I decided to go on a dating website. The first one I was on was a bad experience.

After two years of no contacts, I was wondering what I could do to improve the situation so I made the mistake of asking one of the people who runs the site. After he saw my picture, he said it could be because my men won't go for a woman who is big :(. That hurt deeply and I cried for a while.

A couple of months later, I decided to give another dating website a try. I was also the one who contacted men instead of the other way around but my e-mails to them were terrible :(. I didn't know how to introduce myself and I came off like I didn't really want anyone to talk to. However, one day, I saw one of the fellas I had contacted online so I invited him to chat. The rest is history. We have been married now for a year and about 5 months.

It took my husband many years to find me. He almost gave up (he was 38 at the time that we met). He is 40 now.

Judging from your posts here on TOS and at AF, you are a kind soul :). I know the pain of not having someone to love. Someone who sees you. Don't give up though. You might have to find her where you least expect to.

Oel ngati kameie ma tsmukan, I completely understand you. I've never had a girlfriend either, I'm 19, and the one I almost had, lets just say we both liked each other but she went to college in another state and ended up getting a boyfriend there. That made me feel wonderful [/sarcasm]. And like you said, I just want someone to say that they love me, and truly mean it. I fear that when I get a relationship she'll just be there because she feels if she leaves me she'll feel bad, but she doens't feel the same way about me that I do her. It's hard to look at todays world and have the hope that you'll find true love, all it is at my college is "friends with benifits" they don't truly love them, they just want to say they've had sex with such a number of the hottest girls. And it's also hard to approach a girl and have them know that you're not one of those other guys. How do you go about that? It's a hard subject, especially for someone who hasn't had a girlfriend, sometimes I fear I think too much about it, what love truly is and such, and thats my problem about not having someone special in my life. I dream of having someone embracing me because of who I am, for her to truly say to me that she loves me and my soul has the connection that she truly means it. I'm alone with you as well ma tsmukan, but don't give up. You and I and everyone else here who hasn't been in a relationship will get through these lonely times. But like I just said it is hard. I walk down the street at a mall (its an outdoor mall with tons of stores) filled with tons of people, and I hardly see girls about my age, and when I do see them, they're walking hand in hand with another guy. And the girls that are walking with their girlfriends or alone, I look at their eyes, see if they have any interest, but sometimes I look and they have zero signs. It's moments like those that I go and sit down someplace and think. Is it something I'm doing wrong? Is it the way I look? Act? Dress? Is it the who I am? Looking at couples like those at the malls or like my cousin and her boyfriend, I see how happy they both are to be with each other, and I wish that I had someone I could make that happy, and someone who could make me that happy. Someday I will, but I just would like to know when. I feel like I've waited so long, but I know there are other guys who have waited longer, and I feel sorry for them as well. Hang in there ma tmukan, and to all those who are in the same situation in life as we are as well. We're always here to support each other, and I hope this gave you some more support.

Thank you very much for an inspiring post rapunzel, it - like all the other posts here - have helped me in ways you cannot possibly concieve.

I too have some issues with self-asteem and my physical apperance and I probably have a bit of a fear of rejection as well.

I will continue to search for my soulmate, for as long as it takes.

That would be the worst sort of relationship. Never settle for "pity." Personally, I don't see anything to pity with you :). You are a very kind man with a good heart. It is very understandable that you would have that fear though. Some women tend to do that.

:(, this is truly sad but also very common too. It doesn't have to be this way.

Never give up trying but don't dwell on it to much either. I know that is difficult to say since I have been there before, being very lonely, etc. If the girl doesn't respect you for your principles, etc then she isn't worth it. The right one will come :).


This is a very good dream. Never lose that dream.

I used to do the same thing. When I worked at the mall, I saw couples walking hand and hand and it hurt me so much because I wanted to find my soulmate too and I thought that he would never come.


There is nothing wrong with you :). Always be yourself. She will love you for who you are inside and outside.

[/QUOTE]

I wondered for years too. Hang in there :). You will find her. You are 19. There are plenty of years ahead to find her. Do the best that you can now. All of you (Fkeu'itan, Human no More, Profoundheart, Stanley_9875, Fkeua Vrrtep, Apollo, etc) are a kind bunch of fellas. For those of you who don't have anyone yet, she is out there. You might have to search the world over to find her, but she is out there.

I hope this has helped too.

You're welcome Fkeu'itan :). I'm glad that I was able to help.

Again stanley, thank you for your amazing support.

We have a similar situation in this country. It seems that relationships these days are all about "getting a leg over" which, in my personal opinion is just disgusting. It's great for anyone who shares this mentality, as there are countless numbers of both sexes who think exactly the same way which means easy relationships, (and when I say "relationships" in this contex, I actually mean sex.) But as you can probably tell, i'm not like that. You shold be with a person because you love them, because you share a connection, not primarily for the "action".

I also agree with your second point. It kills me too to see other people in the street, hell, even my own friends when they're with their partner and enjoying themselves. It's not envy or jealousy, it's just a longing. I don't know what it is that drives other people away either, it's a complete mystery to me. Admittedly, i'm not the thinnest, most muscular or best dressed of guys but maybe that's what many women (in my area at least) aim for these days. I just don't know.

Well, i'm not going to give up searching just yet and thanks for all the support, I don't know where i'd be without you guys.

Thank you for your kind words, ma tsmuké. We have to keep up our faith.

THIS!

Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan.

The only thing that make me feel even more disgusted than this is to stay with someone only because he/she has a lot of money or belongings. These two things are everything but love.
As Stanley said, to Love means to care for someone because he/she is what he/she is, and nothing less. To truly love someone, you must See him/her.

^This again! ;)

I think that being in a relationship solely for the material posessions is just so sad. :(

Exactly. Nothing else will keep a relationship together. It must be based on mutual trust and love. You must See each other :). I think that all of you will be good partners. Now, to find your ladies :). They will be gems because they will be trying to find you too.

You're welcome Tudhalyas :).

I wondered for years too. Hang in there :). You will find her. You are 19. There are plenty of years ahead to find her. Do the best that you can now. All of you (Fkeu'itan, Human no More, Profoundheart, Stanley_9875, Fkeua Vrrtep, Apollo, etc) are a kind bunch of fellas. For those of you who don't have anyone yet, she is out there. You might have to search the world over to find her, but she is out there.

I hope this has helped too.[/QUOTE]

I am on the brink of crying right now (and I'm at work haha), your words have truly touched my heart and soul. I cannot thank you enough for your kind and encouraging words. Everyone part of this community is different is some way or other, but we also have a lot of the same simularities. Just knowing people who care as much as you all do is one of the greatest things in life. When I'm old and on my deathbed and I think back to all the amazing things that has happened in my life, this community and everyone a part of it will dwell in my mind. You have given me loads of encouragement and hope, and I'm certain you have given that to everyone else here in the same situation as us. I cannot thank you enough :D *hugs to everyone here*

You're welcome Stanley. I meant every word I say. I have been on the AF board since January and have observed the posts, etc and contributing when possible. I have been pleasantly surprised by the level of thoughtfulness, insight, and maturity that is on here. You are all good men/women and I hope you will find your "Neytiri". It is more and more difficult to find someone with principles and maturity. Hang in there :). When you find her, she will be a gem. Sometimes you have to dig deeper to find the truly valuable jewels.

Again, oel ngati kameie... You just described my feelings there perfectly :'(

'm happy to see the support that is on this board :). We are all here for each other and it is great to find a good bunch of friends. I posted this on another thread but this song is very special to me and it encapsulates all the longings that everyone feels on here. The longing for a friend and soulmate. Someone who will always be there for you. Its called "Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel. I would cry hearing this song, wondering if I will ever find my soulmate. Here it is:

Forrest Gump: "Bubba was my very best friend, and I even knew it was something you ain't find just turning around the corner"

See, people who just want you to go out and have a beer; you'll find tons.
People who likes to talk with you and you like to talk with, thousands.
People who feels like you and would love to share their thoughts with you, hundreds.
But people that really could understand you and you rely on them no matter what; few.

I am alone, yes. I haven't got a partner in my whole life nor a real best friend either. But y'know what? I stick up the people that makes me feel good and likes how I am; I'm honest with them and they bring me back the same honesty. I spend few time with them, though; but I believe that things will change if I keep looking for the people I want to find; all in all, life is about where you're headed to, the when and how you'll reach your target are just not worth worrying about.

If you feel lonely, try to get into some kind of group activity in your community; you'll never know if you don't try.

And don't worry, you won't find your ideal girlfriend just turning around the corner; but if you look for her you'll find her sooner or later.

I want everyone to know there is hope. Many of the things said in this thread I could have written in my younger years. In my thirties I was sure that I would be alone my whole life, but now I married. Life is good.



This is some great advice. I used to sit at home and complain about being lonely. It's not like they are going to be coming to your door. You have to go out there and meet people to find someone.

I just wanted to add my love and support here, too, for everyone. Fkeu'itan, Stanley, Tudhalyas, Human No More, Zenit Yerkes, Apollo, all of you...there *are* good women out there who will truly see you for who you are, and will love you for it.

Rapunzel has already said much of what I wanted to say, and said it much more eloquently than I could have. :)

I agree very much with this. :) My husband and I are working through a lot of trust issues, and I'm trying so hard to teach him to see me...some days are tough. :( I understand the loneliness, aytskuman, and I have a lot of fear that I rushed into this marriage because of feeling so lonely.

The right women are out there, and I think you will find them. Take your time building your relationships, and always be yourselves. Every one of you is a beautiful person, if your words here are any indication. ;) As Rapunzel already said, those women will be trying to find you, too. :)

I know exactly how you feel man, even worse though for me especially recently. I had my Neytiri, she was perfect in every way. She was my best friend for 6 years and we truly could See each other. Then I turned into a superficial prick and lost her. :(

Dont stress over this man, "the best things come to those who wait" can apply to this situation also. Carry yourself with pride, be proud in who you are and be confident. Use this type of technique, talk to lots of women, not always in a way that you would like to date them but in a way that you would want to be their friend. Because in this way if nothing happens you atleast have another friend.

For me, I have had one "real" relationship and lots of stupid pointless ones of me just being with other dumb girls LOL. I miss the beginning from that old relationship, I miss the idea of the girlfriend and such. Though I do not miss the BS I put up with her or the endless money I spent on her. I have this perfect girl now that I am looking for, but in a way do not feel at my point in life am ready for her.

Like I said before, the best things come to those who wait is true. Live your life to the fullest and you will meet your dream girl when you are ready. Why rush when you could embark on an incredible journey through you way to find her? :D

Thank you so much, as well. Words of encouragement are always welcome :)

I just hope you're right... :'(

As do I HNM, as do I.

we only need hope and friends to leave that stupid sad in our hearts cause love just becomes when you don't wait it :D

Thank you Wanderling for such kind words. Support like this is always welcome. You are right, and we only have to keep our faith up... but sometimes it's just hard to do that.

Oel ngati kameie!

^This.

Also, I agree with laura neytiri. Sometimes things turn up when you least expect them. I hope this is one of those things.

hope you're alright now :D

Thanks to you, countless other people and some good music, yeah i'm feeling a lot better. Irayo ma tsmuke.

:D :D :D :D :D :D lol

My best advice I can give over things like this is just get out there & enjoy life, stop trying to find "the one" the more you look the harder it'll be, start doing things you enjoy & you'll meet people with similar interests & who knows from there, you might spark with someone, ask them out for a coffee or something & there you go.

Never forget everyone has the same fears in life & your never alone.

hheard this song when i was 12 made me think bout where i was going