Granted but it explodes.

I wish you gave me money.

granted but you Donate it to the "help Moopels get trashed fund" A wise choice in charity sir the result is always stupidly funny for everyone but me.

I wish you could cure my hangover

Granted, but you know so many bad things you go insane.

I wish I could be reborn as a Na'vi.

Granted, but I'm Toruk Makto.

I wish I was happy.

Granted but you trip and fall breaking both your legs.

I wish i was getting so distracted by this place.

But you are. If you meant you wish you weren't, granted, but Neytiri comes to distract you instead.

I make a wish no one can mess up.

Granted but instead of messing u up the which causes havoc in the multi-verse aka all other dimensions and u in all the other dimensions die coz the wish had to be messed up but not effect the u of this dimension.

i wish i had better things to do with my time.

Granted, you now have a job.

I wish I didn't need to work.

Granted, because you're now dead.

I wish I could come up with an original wish.

Granted, but that was it.

I wish I could type faster.