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#1
05-02-2010, 03:46 PM
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Far Away...
This is the first creative thing I've written in 3 or 4 years. I have no idea how to write such things properly, this probably does it horrifically wrong, please go easy on me
 so far away my home where I should be this world is not right for me I want to live to escape didn't want this life the same thing every day I want to be free find my own way born on the wrong world? I don't belong "This is how it was meant to be"? So wrong... Optimism turned to emptiness now I See I feel less of this world all the time beyond this world life waits for me I'm trapped here alone and empty hopelessly in love I want to be free It seems so pointless same thing every day work your life away For what? pointless things. I saw another way distant I live in my dreams so far away why do I go on? face another day so empty inside I can never explain what's wrong so many people, so blind never realise what's missing my life feels distant so far away what went wrong? so lonely, feeling empty wishing, dreaming of a world far away maybe... someday... until then I dream but how real it seems. Just a few thoughts I had walking home, I felt I had to do something with them. Took me ages, didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but this is still the best creative thing I've ever written, I think
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#3
05-02-2010, 04:04 PM
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Really, really beautiful HNM. Words straight from the heart, they generate a lot of imagery for me. I enjoyed it a lot.
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"When the time comes, just walk away and don't make any fuss."
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#4
05-02-2010, 04:36 PM
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Oel ngati kameie, ma HNM. I really enjoyed reading your poem. I just hope that humanity will change, someday... but I know that when it will happen, it will be always too late.
 Anyway, we DO See just like you, and knowing this gives me strength.
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#5
05-04-2010, 12:02 AM
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Thank you all so much
I'm glad you liked it, this took me ages to write and I very nearly didn't post it because I wasn't sure if it was good.
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#6
05-04-2010, 01:37 AM
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Clear, concise and has a nice rhythm and obviously deep emotion to it.
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#7
05-09-2010, 11:02 PM
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nice poem, and i can sort of relate to it as now i'm so busy at uni. it feels like as soon as i finish one thing another thing comes up and i feel like life is just about work and more work and more work......
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There are many dangers on Pandora, and one of the subtlest is that you may come to love it too much. 
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| Tags |
| emptiness, far away, loneliness, pandora |
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