Outtakes and things you wouldn't hear characters say

[Human No More]

Just came up with this one on IRC and had the idea of making a thread for these.

<@HumanNoMore> no, Quaritch just kicks the door open
<@HumanNoMore> I would have lol'd so hard if he kicked it, then nothing
<@Thorinair> lol
<@Thorinair> yeah
<@Thorinair> like wtf, why it wont open?
<@HumanNoMore> guy on the other side shouts across "Pull it, lol"
<Locutus> that'd have been an outtake

[Sacred Tsahaylu]

Ok ok how about this?

Tsu'tey: You mated with this woman?
Grace: Niiiiiiiiiiiiice
Mo'at: Is this true?
Neytiri: We are mated before Eywa, it is done
Jake: Wait, whut? And how the eff did you know Tsu'tey, you mad stalking freak

Originally Posted by Sacred Tsahaylu

Ok ok how about this?

Tsu'tey: Oh, I uploaded it to Eywa.

Jake:
Neytitri:

[Sovereign]

Jake: I've already chosen. But this woman must also choose me.
Neytiri: She already has.
Jake: YEAH BABY GET SOME!

[Human No More]

Neytiri: Ninat is the best singer. She also has tsaherpes.
Jake: Well, if she is the best singer, I guess that's good, although tsaherpes sounds a bit painful. Ah well, there's nobody else, I guess. I'll have her then.
Neytiri: WHAT?
Jake: Well, you said yourself, she's the best singer.
Neytiri: Well, you can't have her. You must have me instead!
*Neytiri grabs Jake's queue and makes tsahaylu with him*
Jake: Ah... well, ok then...

A couple I made up before:
Tsu'tey: Don't worry Jake, we can share Neytiri. You get her one day, I get her the next.

Quaritch: How does it feel to betray your own race?
Jake: Well, it's a weird thing. I like being able to walk again, and I get to do all this really great stuff, and Neytiri is amazingly hot, but just between you and me, I really miss beer.

[Sacred Tsahaylu]

Originally Posted by Human No More

Quaritch: How does it feel to betray your own race?
Jake: Well, it's a weird thing. I like being able to walk again, and I get to do all this really great stuff, and Neytiri is amazingly hot, but just between you and me, I really miss beer.

Lol, rhetorical question fail. Nah, it's a funneh one

[Sovereign]

Selfridge: I mean, look at all that cheddar!
Jake: So we came millions of light-years to fight and die for cheese?
Quaritch: Yeah Wisconsin stopped making it.

Neytiri: And you may choose a woman.
Jake: I only get one?

Jake: How will I know if he chooses me?
Neytiri: He will try to kill you.
Jake: That's it, I'm leaving!

Grace: Mo'at! No!
Mo'at: I was going to cut you free, but if you say so... *walks away*

[Brandon Kellum]

Neytiri: First flight seals the bond Jake, this cannot wait!
Jake: Geez Neytiri, don't you think this would've been good information to know BEFOREHAND?!! What would've happened if you had been late getting here, or Seze got sick and couldn't fly you here. I could've been sitting here carelessly not knowing that the bond wasn't sealed and gotten killed!! Haha funny thought though, I feel sorry for the first sucker that figured THAT one out! I mean, can you imagine sitting on your Ikran at the edge of the mou.....*Gets bucked over side off the cliff*

[Huurraaa]

Just as flames engulf Jake's brother...

Jake's brother: aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!!!