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#1
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There are just some times like today when I really feel I can't do anything. I have absolutely no clue where I'm going in life, I'm at university at the moment but since Avatar, I am completely changed. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck in endlessly working. Really, I don't know WHAT I want to do, at all.
Whenever I stop doing anything, even for a second, my mind drifts back to Pandora, I just can't do anything because I keep realising it's all pointless. If I was on Pandora I wouldn't need to worry about anything any more. I'd be free. I want to here but I don't see how it's possible, since everything is so dominated by work and money. So much of what I do is Avatar now, reading these forums, listening to the OST, watching Avatar more times than I can really afford, playing the Avatar game, even just thinking of Pandora. I used to think PAD would fade, but it hasn't. If anything, it's getting stronger, and I only ever really felt worse right at the start, when I wasn't even sure of the cause. I'm always thinking of Pandora, of the Na'vi, of how I would rather be flying on an Ikran, or walking through the bioluminescence at night, or just with other Na'vi. I really long for something like the Na'vi have, a real sense of belonging. They have such happiness, something humans never have, just from each other. Humans all ignore each other, only ever focusing on their own lives. I guess I'm really lonely too, Neytiri made me See that. I never used to think about this at all, but now I realise just how much I want someone who Sees me, someone who I can really be with for the rest of my life. Of course, I still have the problem that I just don't find humans interesting compared to Na'vi, but even past that, I want the right person for me and I wouldn't really mind. I'd still much rather be Na'vi, if I had a chance to drop everything right now and become Na'vi, I would without hesitation. I just want to go to Pandora, personally, I think it DOES exists - SOMEWHERE, after all, the universe is big enough. But being unable to reach it just makes me feel so depressed. I really didn't expect anything from Avatar, I just thought it'd just be a film, one with good visuals and a nice idea maybe, but just a film. I really didn't expect it to show me my life and what was wrong. Now I think back, I've never really been happy, I just thought I was because it was better than my previous situation. Now I have it all in context, I realise how much was missing. As Jake said, "It's hard to believe it's only been 3 months. I can barely remember my old life. I don't know who I am any more." Anyway, thanks for reading all this, sorry if it's really long, I just started writing what I feel and it kept going. Just wanted to explain what's going on with me right now, hopefully people will See
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#2
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Yes.. most of us do expect that PAD would only last for a short while after the movie's screening.. but it reaches far, far deeper than that.
Personally, Avatar has changed my outlook on life - I'm becoming more rational, more observant, more sensitive to my surroundings. While yes, I do agree that Avatar has left a gaping hole that is incredibly hard to substitute, I feel that I am able to analyse things in a more clear manner. And instead of becoming more depressed about being unable to be on Pandora and with Neytiri, I start pouring my efforts to improve myself, in the goal that someday I can and will be able to leave my mark (hopefully something positive). Anyways HNM, you're definitely not alone here, many others here will share similar sentiments as you. Its good that you speak out your frustrations and sentiments here, so our community can relate with you and offer you a listening ear
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#3
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P.A.D doesn't fade, its with you forever. After watching Avatar, I just feel this unquenchable longing, like I've lost something that will never come back. "I was lying there, with a Big hole blown through the middle of my life, I started having these dreams of flying" - Jake Sully. I still haven't got over it, it does return, stronger than ever. But talking to people I love and respect on Skype and these Forums made me See that even though we are not Na'vi,and were not on Pandora, that doesn't mean we have to live the way every other human does. We are unique. You said you feel lonely...Me too, Everytime I see Jake and Neytiri, it hurts. It hurts like hell, but you have to think about other things. Heck, I worship Neytiri, posters everywhere...But if anything Avatar has shown me that life is precious, everyday is. I started waking up earlier, helping people, helping animals, walking in woods, drawing, creating music, videos, anything! Its YOUR life, live it to the full, Maybe we will see Pandora, but even if we don't, we have our own Na'vi clan here.
<33 Hope you feel better HNM...
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#4
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http://www.avatar-forums.com/groups/...utionists.html
Did you ever look at this social group on AF? The ultimate goal we're working toward is to create a tribe living in the Na'vi manner, in touch with nature. That might be something that could help you. |
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#5
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i really have to say that PAD really affected me, but i got over it!
i love my life, though i really hate all this monetary thinking we got here! but i really see my job only as a help to make it possible for me to see our beatiful world! to travel around and discover as much as my lifetime allows me to! one thing i like to say to your Human, is that u should try to not see the movie. i know it´s hard and everytime i watch the trailer i get the feeling that i have to see the movie again! it isn´t bad to love the world the movie created but u will never see it for real (for what we know now) i don´t wanna be mean or so and pls don´t take that as a attack against u but think of it!
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![]() ToS Spam Ninja Master Creature of old Days
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#6
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![]() I've tried a few of those things, I've even just done the small things like trying to reduce how much of everything I waste. It helps, but it's certainly not a cure for anything - and sometimes I feel like it doesn't really matter what I do, nobody else will.
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#7
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If we don't stand up for the little things...who will? Don't lose faith, We will always be here for you. I know exactly what you're going through, I'm at school being pressured about GCSE's and coursework everyday. I come home and just escape to Pandora and Avatar with you guys. I know how you feel. Try not to let the world get you down...You will find your own Neytiri someday. <3 Eywa ayngahu ma tsmukan...
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#8
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I can sometimes relate to you ma tsmúkan. Sure I love to be a DJ, go to raves, I'm almost done with my automotive technician school and after I can get a job doing what I love, but somedays if I'm not thinking clearly like when I'm at my job, I feel like I don't have a lot to look forword to. It's an ugly sinking feeling, and like you said PAD comes back. For some smaller and shorter, others longer and stronger. Bit in moments like those I think about things that I still look forward to in life, like graduating college, completing my project car, getting an apartment (first, then house), what party I'm going to DJ at next, which rave I'm going to, designing the Avatar inspired black light tattoo, ect. But somedays it feels like nothing, and then I feel ungrateful for all of it and it makes me feel worse. I'm See you and am with you ma tsmúkan
I agree, I wish I could meet all of you guys and we could become the greatest group of friends every day Last edited by Stanley_9875; 03-23-2010 at 02:59 PM. |
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#9
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Perhaps you need to step back, just a tad. Just to gain some perspective. Quote:
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. Take the opportunity to improve yourself. I realized after watching Avatar that I needed to love more. I have always loved but it has helped me to see the brighter sides of life instead of being worried all the time, etc.Quote:
. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you will be able to been happy. Take the opportunity to explore, to learn more about life, love, etc. I don't know if that makes sense but I hope it helps in some way.Quote:
. You know that you will never be judged. We are all here for each other .
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You wont walk alone I'll be by your side There will be no empty home if you will be my bride the rest of my life will be Song for Rapunzel and me. I see you ![]()
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#10
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As much as I hate to say it, lingering PAD is a manifestation of existential depression. It was triggered by watching and processing the content of the Avatar experience and that precipitated a existential crisis. I have suffered terribly from this for most of my adult life. I saw no purpose. I had to surrender to it in order to begin my long climb to where I am today. I had to realize that it's not the answer that is the problem, but it is the question that is the problem. Today I have new found purpose. Between Avatar and these forums I have finally reached the light for the first time in my life. I am never going back. I hold out a hand for any others who can accept it for those around me are my purpose. I know that I will only be able to reach a few, but that is enough.
It's all about what you decide to do. You can choose to look at life as a cruel joke or a wonderful gift. Yes I fully understand that it is extremely difficult to go from one side to the other and so very easy to slide back. I would be nice if I could give a simple set of instructions how I made it to the wonderful gift side, but I can not. It is my most sincere wish that no one have to go through what I had to endure, and I will do what I can to help. I don't necessarily know where I am going in life. I just face each day the best that I can and move forward. I just hope that I can touch someone in a positive way. I wish I had more time. I think I could write a book, but it's back to work for me. Last edited by txen; 03-23-2010 at 08:01 PM. |
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#11
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I didn't know HNM was human too!
I also had PAD, but I have learned to overcome it.Before Avatar, the movie that heavily influenced me was "There will be blood". I found an instant connection with the cold-blooded oil man, not only because I was as unscrupulous as him, but also because I had become increasingly disgusted at humans. Last June I graduated from university and went on to become a trader, which was my dream job. My only goal was to make as much as possible to retire at 40. This all changed after I watched Avatar. I often asked myself how I'd feel when I look back only to see myself spending 20 years in front of a wall of monitors furiously clicking "Buy" and "Sell"... I quit this January. I didn't know what to do. I considered going to flight school, but my eyes weren't good enough, so I took a break and went hunting for the first time with my dad. I thought this was my chance to have a Na'vi experience, but to my utter disappointment, I spent 2 days crawling in deep snow without even catching a damn chicken. Luckily I didn't have a clan counting on me to bring food back. This brief experience of being a hunter and doing hard, physical labor was a pretty good reality check for me. Now I'm back to job hunting
Last edited by Huurraaa; 03-23-2010 at 09:27 PM. |
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#12
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Thanks everyone... You, my friends, are what really keep me happy these days. I'm glad I met you all every single day. Thanks for listening to me go on about all this, when I know so many people are feeling similar. Many of you probably know me better than anyone else I know IRL.
txen, I have actually had what I guess you could call an existential crisis of sorts before, in the end I decided that it doesn't really matter that there's no meaning to life. It's meaningless, but we should enjoy it as much as we can. I never used to think anything else in that way. The problem is that I can't really enjoy anything any more, because what I really want it still out of reach for me. Particularly being lonely, I have always felt that, but since falling in love with Neytiri, I changed from focusing on short term interest to really thinking about someone who Sees me.
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#13
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I see you ma tsmukan. Truly. I have felt the same way so many times in my life, for years at a time sometimes. I wish I had some advice, but everyone one else has said it better than I could.
So I'll just say again, you are not alone and never will be. Even though we're so far apart, we're still here for you, anytime and every time life gets hard. Good friends will soar with you when you're flying, and carry you when you haven't a leg to stand on.
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#14
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I actually decided I was getting myself out of the "work every day, spend, repeat" life cycle a few years ago. What I really enjoy doing is being out in the beautiful parts of the world, hiking, camping, doing whatever. In my case, that is primarily in the national parks of the US. So, I started working a lame restaurant job thats pays quite well, and is near a college campus, which means I get mid May-September off basically. Since 2007 I have been taking months long road trips across the US.
At this point, I have been to 51 of the 58 parks in the US, and will be seeing 25 or so this summer, obviously mostly repeats, including several in Alaska. I started my own website on the parks, and the hope is, with a little advertising revenue, combined with selling my photography, I might be able to do that full time so to speak I may start posting some of the photos here at some point, I just don't want anyone to think I am pushing my own site here.I guess what I'm saying is that I realized my life was meaningless garbage before Avatar... and I am trying to fix it. PAD for me is directly related to the treatment of the Na'vi and Pandora, and the knowledge that what the RDA does is EXACTLY what we would do if we found something like unobtanium here. Only I believe we would do even worse than the RDA. There would be no school building, or Avatar program, we would forcibly move or kill them, and quickly. The fact that we are going, and are probably already, down a path of no return to the destruction of our Pandora is what saddens me. As I said, I spend months a year seeing some of the best sights in the world, and yes, we do have things that compare to Pandora. But we won't for long. [edit[ And on the personal loneliness thing, I am alone, but I accept it. I had a really dark period in my life where I had to force myself to accept being alone, or I would have gone crazy. I am at peace with it now. If that someone comes along, that will be beyond amazing, but I do not dwell on it or try to find it any more. |
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#15
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I´ve lost all the interest in studies,hobbies.... this is serious and I should to do something to fix it the whole day I´m thinking in AVATAR (the wonderful world of PANDORA and the adventures they lived) when will come out in theaters again,DVD, the sequels...
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I See You Ma Brother/Sister
Last edited by Ateyo; 03-23-2010 at 09:16 PM. |
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