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#16
10-03-2010, 09:23 PM
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#17
10-03-2010, 09:34 PM
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^^ it could just be people having a grudge maybe? just a shot in the dark I dont go to the debate forum
And great post Eltu, I fully agree with you. It is very sad to see people go, I never get a good feeling when I see a goodbye thread or look through my friends list and see people I haven't seen in months. Not a good feeling at all  But anyways, if I have hurt anyones feelings or someone took my post as offensive, please let me know, message, PM, whatever. I don't want to hurt my families feelings Peace Love Unity and Respect
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#18
10-03-2010, 09:36 PM
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Oh you know you haven't hurt anyone's feelings, Stan.
...I don't remember seeing you ever hurt anyone's feelings here, actually. 
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#19
10-03-2010, 09:50 PM
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 *whew*
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#20
10-04-2010, 10:58 AM
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Great post Eltu, and now that you mention it, there does seem to be a 3 month cycle.
I share an idea that for everyone, their lives tend to go in cycles of a certain amount of time. Perhaps what this is is that everyone here has a similar up/down cycle that sync up, thus, everyone is up at the same time and down at the same time. It's just a little theory. Anyway, like you also said, no family goes without it's disagreements, but it's not the disagreements that are they key part, neither is the fact that maybe you feel you need some time away from ToS. It's all to do with the way you deal with things. How you come back, with what attitude and how you 'fight your battles' so to speak. I also agree with what Zenit said. Debate should not be an opportunity to crush your opponents with all manner of force you can, it should be about attempting to bring them over to your side with irrefutable evidence. Coerce, not destroy. And if neither of you feels you can 'win', then by all means keep discussing, but also try to take on each other's point of view, even if it is incredibly difficult. Even if your views are like chalk and cheese. We should be learning and growing, not closing up our views even further in an attempt at 'victory'... Really, I think that is the key thing here. Understanding. Particularly in judging asomeone else's state of mind. If a person is depressed and they're looking for help, don't just batter them by telling them they should be as happy as you are, and that they're just being morbid for the sake of it. Try to empathise with them, try to see it the way they see it and then pour what you have into helping them to balance out. Likewise, if you're depressed about something, just don't be scared to let it all out. That is the one amazing ability we all have on ToS and it should be utilised to it's full. Hopefully, if people heed the advice of tolerance and understanding, they will try to help you out of your slump or, otherwise, help you direct what you're feeling into a more creative and outward passion instead of inward destructivity. But also, as difficult as it may be, try not to force them into a slump as well. Remember how much it meant to you when you were happy, then realise that is what the other person is feeling right now and how much it would hurt to have that taken away by someone. Finally, i'd like to apologise myself. I hit a really, really rough patch the other day, and I pretty much went 'depression trolling' on a lot of threads, just virtually looking for something or someone to take it out on. Something which I regret deeply, and which I hope didn't hurt too many people. As Stan preaches... "Peace, Love, Unity & Respect."
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"When the time comes, just walk away and don't make any fuss."
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#21
10-04-2010, 05:46 PM
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Agreed.
Agreed...
With every community, debates and conflicts are healthy, regular things. I've always thought of it like an immune system... Our immune system is useless unless it gets practice. A family is no good at staying together through harsh times if they never get practice. The idea of being a family with a decent integrity will come from the old saying... "I do not agree with what you are saying. However I will defend to the death your right to say it." Now- Like the typical human, I've got set fuses depending on certain subjects- Something I'm trying to change. You'll probably notice my post-count isn't very high- That's because I'm on IRC. [For all the non-IRCers here] I don't know where I'm going with this. My intentions are never of a harmful sort. And like Zenit said, never go into a debate with the mind-set of "Ok- I want to change this persons views forcefully and not give them a chance to express THEIR views." Which... I'm probably guilty of, on more than one occasion. But to use the analogy of the immune system- We'll never get stronger unless debate arises. We will have the occasional 'troll' but what site doesn't? We're based virtually. The Tree of Souls is lucky enough to be blessed with Admins [And moderators, although I can't say I've done much moderating] who actually DO care. Let's not be afraid of fear itself. Don't fear the idea of breaking as a community. There are two quotes that spring to mind. "Failure is an option. Fear is not." "There's no use in putting up your umbrella until it rains." Mune Tompa Ta'em. :>
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Useful Links The IRC Channel http://www.tree-of-souls.com/irc/ Tree of Souls Updates http://www.tree-of-souls.com/tree_of_souls_news/ Frequently Asked Questions http://www.tree-of-souls.com/faq.php Groups http://www.tree-of-souls.com/groups/ If you have questions, send me a private message. If you are offended by any of the content on these Forums- Please use the 'Report Post' button.
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#22
10-04-2010, 06:32 PM
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Anyway, this thread makes me happy... - especially how we can get over these things and focus on what we have
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