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#6
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Very, very good! The style makes it very first person.
I have ADD too, but am now an adult and have learned how to focus. Sort of. Only detail I didn't agree with is that Jake is American, the actor is Australian. Unless there is more information on his character that I haven't seen? Glad to have been the spark that got your writing juices flowing! I know the feeling of just letting the writing flow and hours go by!
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