Ever smile while crying inside?

[Fosus]

I do it too.. as often as I "have to". Not every day, but quite often :/

[Marvellous Chester]

I don't know about you folks but I've found opening up about this kind of stuff to people on here and AF feels so liberating. You are the kind of friends and mentalities I wish I could find in real life. With people I know and see everyday, it's difficult or impossible to know who is and isn't 'safe' to show emotion to.

[LOVEavatar]

About the "Happy Mask"...

I learned something very valuable through my time in Confirmation by our priest:

"The clown is laughing when everyone's watching, but crying when no-one's prying."

Something like that anyway. kinda hard to make it rhyme when you translate it to english
It fits pretty good though. Sad but true

[electrosphere11]

Very true, no one has seen me cry since I was like 6 years old. I've learned to power through those emotions somewhat, I only ever do it when I'm alone nowadays. Not sure if its better to stay strong around everyone or show my inner self.

[Fosus]

Originally Posted by electrosphere11

Very true, no one has seen me cry since I was like 6 years old. I've learned to power through those emotions somewhat, I only ever do it when I'm alone nowadays. Not sure if its better to stay strong around everyone or show my inner self.

There's one place I can cry out of emotions in the middle of my friends: Cinema

Really, I think it's ridiculous how they keep sunglasses on and everything so that if "the air is too dry" no one would think they cry. Lol I just say to them it's okay and perfectly right to cry when watching a movie.

[Hunter of the Glade]

All the time...

I find myself faking smiles constantly, almost on instinct to hide my emotions.

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Tarnished Soul

Sometimes. In England it is widely regarded as bad to show too much emotion and crying is somewhat 'frowned' (can't think of a better word) upon. I smile while others are around and then when I'm alone I can cry and show how I really feel

I don't really have anybody that I can show emotion in front of without feeling as though I'm being judged. It is why I loved AF and ToS so much.

Sad but true... it's the same everywhere though, what annoys me is that it's worse if you're male, people expect you not to show anything, to pretend things don't affect you

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

Wearing that "happy mask" so that I don't ever have to expose my deeper, more sensitive side to anyone who will abuse it, belittle it, or - something that hurts the most - misundersand it. Keeping it locked away when in public is just that much easier for everyone concerned.

Plus, I suffer with the whole "It's not ok to cry" thing as well. As a taller, larger built person, and especially in this country where the "look at how big you are, you should be a rugby player or a boxer or something" mentality is rife, it's hard to just feel and be yourself without getting the feeling that you're being silently ridiculed by everyone you speak to. People on the street, people at work, even your friends and family... That you're somehow letting them down. Letting yourself down for not being the strong person you should be...

Same here... my friends IRL, I would never want to show that to... I don't feel like I'd be letting them down so much, but I know that I'm expected to feel that way, and that if I did, people react... badly. They'd be hostile, they would deep down think 'I wish I could do that'... but they wouldn't let that show either

I don't have any really close friends other than here, my closest AFK friend, I've known for a bit over a year, I really couldn't tell him anything about how I really feel... it's ironic, we even share some thoughts which in a few cases I would never have thought to talk to him about, which he's actually mentioned (like looking for real love as opposed to just some random...), but there's still so much deep feeling I could never bring up, things I've shared here because I really trust everyone, but I never could to anyone without a shared experience like Avatar.

Like many others, ToS and a few other members here as a whole are my sanctuary, the few people that I can actually talk to deeply about what I feel on an almost daily basis, and i'm truly, truly greatful for this, but as you Gunny, I wish for someone who can relate to the way my mind works in real life.

Oel ngati kameie...

[Neytiri.]

I'm having trouble with this topic right now actually, Do you ever have the feeling where you want to cry but you just can't? Thats how I feel right now, On the outside I'm fine but on the inside I feel extremely alone and alienated from the world, I know the majority of it will try and judge me before even getting to know me and it just hurts... I guess I'm just really lonely and wish I had someone here to be with me and someone I could talk to </3

[electrosphere11]

Originally Posted by Neytiri.

I'm having trouble with this topic right now actually, Do you ever have the feeling where you want to cry but you just can't? Thats how I feel right now, On the outside I'm fine but on the inside I feel extremely alone and alienated from the world, I know the majority of it will try and judge me before even getting to know me and it just hurts... I guess I'm just really lonely and wish I had someone here to be with me and someone I could talk to </3

Why would you feel alienated? I tend to give everyone the same respect whe I first meet them and then depending on how things progress, it either goes up or down. But from what I can tell about you i think you are a great person and that if you get out there, you shouldn't have a problem finding anyone

Though I do agree on the lonely right now part

[Stanley_9875]

Originally Posted by Neytiri.

I'm having trouble with this topic right now actually, Do you ever have the feeling where you want to cry but you just can't? Thats how I feel right now, On the outside I'm fine but on the inside I feel extremely alone and alienated from the world, I know the majority of it will try and judge me before even getting to know me and it just hurts... I guess I'm just really lonely and wish I had someone here to be with me and someone I could talk to </3

DOnt worry, you're definently nit alone in this topic... I concider myself alienated from the world as well. I just feel like no one around me understands me, especially at school, its like, "why dont you have sex with her?" and I reply, "because I have standards and save myself for my lifemate" (i didnt say it exactly like that but you get the idea) and they say, "F*** standards, just do it!" I remember one time someone joked by saying 'physically' and I said, "no emotionally" and he looked at me serious and said, "never say emotionally again"

Why? you tell me. I wish we were a physical community I love you all

[Gunny]

ugh I know people just like that stan! Really bugs me when these guys only care about getting some a$$ and nothing else. So many times I meet people at college and they seem cool and then only after talking to them for a bit do I hold back how I really feel about things otherwise I would never have any friends.

Ive yet to find a true great friend at college and even with the one person Im actually good friends with AFK I feel much closer to all the people here at ToS.

[Stanley_9875]

Originally Posted by Gunny

ugh I know people just like that stan! Really bugs me when these guys only care about getting some a$$ and nothing else. So many times I meet people at college and they seem cool and then only after talking to them for a bit do I hold back how I really feel about things otherwise I would never have any friends.

Ive yet to find a true great friend at college and even with the one person Im actually good friends with AFK I feel much closer to all the people here at ToS.

I agree, I have a couple of friends I hang out with you know, but we're not all close or anything.

[electrosphere11]

Originally Posted by Stanley_9875

DOnt worry, you're definently nit alone in this topic... I concider myself alienated from the world as well. I just feel like no one around me understands me, especially at school, its like, "why dont you have sex with her?" and I reply, "because I have standards and save myself for my lifemate" (i didnt say it exactly like that but you get the idea) and they say, "F*** standards, just do it!" I remember one time someone joked by saying 'physically' and I said, "no emotionally" and he looked at me serious and said, "never say emotionally again"

Why? you tell me. I wish we were a physical community I love you all

I've had people ask me that same exact question, Stan. It seems like some people just don't understand the importance of a spiritual connection as well as physical. I wouldn't have sex with a woman unless I truly loved her, not just to say I did it or some other nonsense.

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Neytiri.

I'm having trouble with this topic right now actually, Do you ever have the feeling where you want to cry but you just can't? Thats how I feel right now, On the outside I'm fine but on the inside I feel extremely alone and alienated from the world, I know the majority of it will try and judge me before even getting to know me and it just hurts... I guess I'm just really lonely and wish I had someone here to be with me and someone I could talk to </3

Yes, a lot... There's always a feeling deep inside, but sometimes it's hard to let it out. That's one of the things I love about Avatar, there's nothing stopping me there.

There's not a lot you can do about the world, unfortunately... none of us can. People look at those who are different so many ways... even if they don't show it, a lot of people deep down wish they could to that themselves, but they're too constrained by others

As for the loneliness... I know exactly how you feel
I just wish I could know people AFK who were like me, who Saw and who I could be with... but at least we all have ToS and always will, I make sure of that

Originally Posted by Stanley_9875

DOnt worry, you're definently nit alone in this topic... I concider myself alienated from the world as well. I just feel like no one around me understands me, especially at school, its like, "why dont you have sex with her?" and I reply, "because I have standards and save myself for my lifemate" (i didnt say it exactly like that but you get the idea) and they say, "F*** standards, just do it!" I remember one time someone joked by saying 'physically' and I said, "no emotionally" and he looked at me serious and said, "never say emotionally again"

Why? you tell me. I wish we were a physical community I love you all

I completely understand... I did go through the whole looking for anyone really, before Avatar... I wasn't happy. It took me a while to realise afterwards what I REALLY wanted, which was actual love. Before, I questioned whether it really even happened other than in films, but now, I think it CAN, I'm just unsure whether or not I'll find someone myself .
Ironically, I know one AFK friend, who normally, I would never talk to about my real feelings, but he actually feels the same way, he wants someone who is really the right person, he's been there before with ones t hat didn't work out too... I guess some people just keep telling themselves that next time will be different.

[rasomaso]

Nah, I just do the numb face and cry when no one is looking. Then I meet up with a friend and that always cheers me up. Sorry that you feel this way though.