I Don't Know What It Was

[Stanley_9875]

About last nights viewing of Avatar. I got out of college at 5:30pm (every third friday I get out early), took my friend from college home, and got to the theater about 6:10pm for the showing of Avatar in 2-D at 7:00pm. I watched it and even though it was on a smaller screen and it wasn't in 3-D it was still as spectacular as ever. I haven't seen the movie in about 3 weeks (would've been 3 if I missed last night) but now, every time I close my eyes I see myself with Neytiri. Before I'd close my eyes and see Neytiri, or a playback of the movie, or Pandora or even myself on Pandora without really trying to think about it. As you may know or seen my posts on the Loneliness thread in the Off Topic section, I'm in the same boat (or plane as I prefer ) as a lot of you are... I'm single. Never had a girlfriend and I'm 19. Just the thought of Neytiri and I in a hammock high in the air, her nuzzling her head against my chest, her arms wrapped around me, me stroking her hair, each of us feeling each others heartbeats, the cool soft breeze brushing against us, us both staring at the dark night sky, the reflection of the moons giving light to the jungle below us. Just her wanting to be with me, truly love me. Sometimes I'd want to imagine it, but since last night I imagine images and scenes like that without even trying. To gaze into her deep glassy golden eyes. Whatever it is it's leaving my physical senses numb... to a certain extent (I still take care of my car as I drove today haha). I woke up this morning and just laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for a while. Images of Neytiri with me wouldn't leave my mind; and I wouldn't want them to. I thought that images and scenes like suck would make me happy, put a smile on my face... they have before. They didn't. I don't know why... maybe its because I don't have anyone to physically like that, to hold me and comfort me like she does. I eventually got up, took a shower and continued my Saturday doing nearly everything I needed to do, but I just didn't feel... I don't know. Maybe it was just because I hadn't seen the movie in 3 weeks and it was such a relief to see it again. I'm sorry i just had to get this off my chest.