[WIP] To Hold Your Hand

[Lyra]

‘To hold your hand.’

“Pandora is my home, always has been, always will be. Eywa will provide for me, no matter what I feel in my heart. I know that now.”

Prologue
I guess I always knew, or at least a small part of me knew. I was different to all of the other females. Physically, I was healthy, just like the others but mentally, I knew...

She was beautiful, I knew that much. But I also knew that what I was thinking wasn’t normal, wasn’t accepted; wasn’t they way of the people. At first it was minor thoughts, little things. Like that way she smiled, the way she walked. But it soon grew to much more than that. I knew it was wrong.
Females of the tribe were getting chosen as mates before Eywa and everyone grew so excited, except for me. She wondered why you know, she asked me about it, but I never gave her answers. Reisuke was too curious for her own good, she thought me bottling up my thoughts was bad, but I did it for a reason. One day I just cracked and gave her an answer. She asked why I wasn’t interested in any males… Well, I replied… It was short and sweet. ‘I want a female.’

-- Maybe I shouldn’t have been so direct. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her at all. But something inside me just snapped. I wanted her to know, I didn’t want to lie anymore. I wanted her to know that I watched her sleep, and that I loved her smile, and that I wanted to kiss her soft beautiful face --

Her first reaction was one of shock. How does one go about hearing something, something so unheard of, like this? It just wasn’t normal. Reisuke didn’t understand, never would understand what I felt for her, I knew that the second I saw her reaction. My hopes fell down, and were drowning at my feet. She wasn’t like me… No one was like me.

-- I was alone. --

Thankfully Reisuke didn’t tell anyone about what I’d said. She preferred to leave me alone, not to speak to me… And as much as that hurt, it was probably for the best.

A heart-wrenching prequel to the first ever Lesbian avatar fanfiction ‘Kxani Yawne’.
Chapter one drops Saturday 8th January 2011.