Meh.

[Sight Unseen]

I'm trying to find the right words to describe how I feel, please stick with me.

I've never had Avatar affect me as much as the first time, but sadly, then I was trying not to give in to this movie, I was trying to hang on to the society-taught sense of "corniness", I felt horrible, like I had vertigo, but briefly, I felt right as rain as I brought myself to cut loose and let myself drift in the experience. Avatar affected me deeply in the end, but I was not in the right mindset to fully appreciate this. The rest of the times I went to see Avatar at least affected me, but I wanted to truly see, voluntarily. It's been just outside my grasp. I've suffered from something best described as screen-separation. I sadly can't fully immerse myself in the experience anymore, my mind just doesn't want to let go of this false reality that we call society, I keep involuntarily remembering that Avatar, Pandora, Neytiri, the Na'vi, it's all not real, that I'm in a theater. It's like skipping a stone across a deep lake. I can feel the depth, the meaning of Avatar tugging at me, but I just can't, no matter how hard I try, bring myself to see like the first time I went to watch Avatar, to dive into the lake that is Sight. To be immersed in the meaning and understanding that I had an involuntary glimpse of. I've been chasing it ever since then.