Labels, Relationships and Marriage

[Mune]

DISCLAIMER: This was written by me ages ago- So... That explains the date at the bottom. I am welcome to criticism, or questioning of points. No direct attacks were intended.

In modern society, the regular idea is that once you 'fall in love' with someone, you engage in a battle of wits between what your 'head wants', and what your 'heart wants'. The idea is that a persons heart will obviously want to be with the respective person that they love spending time with, in a labelled form. The integrity of the idea is based on the public. Should it be just 'the two'. There would be no need for the whole issue of going through the 'asking out process'.

Basically put, there are more than enough psychological factors to asking a person to 'go out' with you. Even if one's heart desires another, they still have to overcome the principles behind 'peer pressure, potential rejection, contingency-plans (that is, planning what to do if something happens they don't expect), a set line to say for example. More examples of addition of stress to the situation include what to do physically, wondering what they'll think of you, wondering if they'll be around their peers.

I recall a friend, and I will not name him for obvious reasons, as if I did it would be nothing but gossip- But he walked over to a girl he had had a crush on for some time, and handed her a box of chocolates. She, in turn, nervously took the box, with her friends around, and they both walked in opposite directions. Almost nothing happened.

Now, if I were to resimulate the entire series of events, with the lack of people around, I'm willing to bet that there would of been a completely different outcome. Good or bad, I don't know. But there would of been a different outcome.

I've conversed with many about the idea of a relationship and I just don't feel the need to be in one. I've a girl who I love dearly with all my heart, and I don't feel the need that there needs to be any labels involved in order for it to be any more official than it already is. The way I see it- Relationships are a form of ownership, not active ownership, subconscious ownership. The idea that being in a relationship- If something 'bad' happens. You can call it 'cheating'. Also, I don't understand, and I never will understand the principle of 'dumping' someone. That in itself is a pretty draconian way of putting it. The idea that you've suddenly fallen out of love with someone, and the label must now be broken, but saying that you've *dumped* them.

Well for a start, if one truly loves another, then they will overcome any arguments or fights. In fact, it pretty much has the same aspects as the immune system. With no arguments, no proverbial pathogens, the bond will be weak. It needs to be tested. Attacked. "Let's see just how strong these bonds are."

Valentines day. There's a joke for you. A day in which a couple are expected to show a higher-than-average love towards eachother. Things such as kissing in public become socially acceptable, just because of words given to a day. This is nonsense. Not only is it once again, another advertising campaign designed to scam gullible couples out of their money, but it also has been given a mascot. Oh yes. Cupid. The naked baby with a weapon of war. How cute. I'm no judge, but I certainly believe that if you 'look forward' to Valentines day for an enhanced amount of portrayed love from your other half, then something isn't right. There shouldn't be any specific days where particularly high standards of love are shown. It should be a constant. A bond. I won't talk much of this because I'm probably getting seen as cynical. Which would be a compliment, but nonetheless, as long as these points are being taken no-less-seriously, I don't mind.

One last point which I wish to arise is 'marriage' which, I really do just find a joke. I do respect those who were brought up with marriages all around them, and have led 'long loving marriages of 25 years'. But I do NOT respect marriage restricted things.

My instant thought from this is, that I am certainly against those who wish to wait until they get married to do anything sexual. Depending on their reasoning. If their case revolves around "I'm not doing it because it says in the bible."- Then that is made void and ridiculous in my mind, and ridicule it I shall. If they have valid reasoning, such as they do not want to risk getting pregnant, then I'll take it slightly more seriously, though saying that, getting married does certainly not show being ready for a baby. Neither does age. It's something that one and their partner must decide through heavy thinking. Bringing another life into this world, but anyway- I'm not here to tell you how to live. I'm just expressing points of view.

But I digress, from pregnancy back to the original point- Marriage. Marriage is a nice little day for the girl, and a nice little day for the guy to impress the girl, but other than that, I see it as a shallow, hollow, event that should not need to go forward in the first place. It seems that modernly, all that people care about is making things official. Since when does putting two metallic rings on your fingers count as an official life-time psychological bond being made.

And don't even get me started on divorce.

/End entry- 10:52 pm - 14/12/2010