Why I fight

[Rainbowhawk1993]

Jake has become the rider of last shadow and is gathering his army. Yet he still feels the regrets of what happened. And he just wants to let his hurt mate know why he came back and why he fights for them.


Why I fight

The ground was filled with the thunder of hooves pounding the dirt and the air was filled with screeches and the flapping of wings. The beat of the war drums rumbling as the heart of the warrior’s moral. Jake stood there with his arm rested against a tree at the edge of a small, empty clearing in the forest surrounding the tree-of-souls. He stood there and searched through his thoughts as the clamor of the clans raged around him. They will all be heading into battle soon and Jake knew this.

He sensed a presence approaching from behind him. He turned his head slightly to his right and looked through the corner of his eye. It was Neytiri. He thought so because he knew what it was to be in her presence. He turned his head back and took a deep breath and shifted his weight off the tree and faced her.

They haven’t had any time to talk alone. They needed to talk, on what happened and why.

“Oel Ngati Kameie” Jake said as an automatic response.

“I see you” Neytiri said surprisingly in his language. Jake could sense a slight hesitation and emotional conflict in her voice. Neytiri broke eye contact for a second to form the words.

“Jake…” She muttered “I…”

“Don’t” Jake cut in.

“Look, you don’t have to forgive me.” Jake said. Neytiri took a step back in surprise.

“But, why did you come back?”

Jake looked away for a moment and turned his body and leaned against the tree again, taking in the moment to find what he wanted to say. Finally, he said still facing away,

“Because of something that the sky people taught me.”

Neytiri stepped closer to Jake’s side and looked into his eye.

“Never leave a man behind.”

He looked into Neytiri’s eyes and saw a trace of curiosity in them. He didn’t tell her much about himself or his life before he came to this world. This was probably the chance to tell her why he came back and how he was different than the rest. He took a few steps and sat on a log in the clearing and Neytiri did the same.

“Before I came here, back on earth, I choose to be a marine for the… Jar head clan… because I thought it would be good to prove that I could be someone special. To pass any test a man could pass.” He took a pause to see if Neytiri was following along. She seemed to understand everything so far.

“On my way to being a warrior, I learned what it meant to be one of them. For hundreds of years, there were many wars between many Sky people. Many of them were started by leaders who desired power. So they spread their armies to clam lands for their own and killed thousands of people in the process. The ‘clan’ I came from became involved in many of those wars because many of us believed that people shouldn’t suffer from the mistakes of others and people should live free and do what they want.”

Neytiri looked away for a moment to think about what he said. Sky people fighting other sky people for their own gain… that made sense to her because she saw what they’ve done to her people. But from what she heard from him made her think about the sky people more.

“When I finally got through training, I was eager to fight for something that my ‘clan’ always would be willing to fight for. But I never got that chance. I was sent to fight in a minor conflict that was just stupid to have been started in the first place. And during a battle, I was hit. After I recovered, I couldn’t feel my legs and I couldn’t walk anymore. So I couldn’t fight in anymore wars that might’ve happened in the future.”

Neytiri tilted her head back in confusion.

“You were hurt and you could not walk again? But how do you walk as one of us?”

“Because this body doesn’t have that wound. The machines that I and other dream walkers like Norm go into place our sprits into these bodies. But that doesn't matter right now."

He continued, “I’m guessing you want me to tell you how I got into this mess in the first place?” Slowly, she nodded.

“It started with me finding out that my brother was killed.” Neytiri shuddered when the words left his lips. Jake’s voice stopped just before he was about to continue. “Hell... him being dead is the sole reason I’m here.” He turned his head to Neytiri and took her hand into his.

“He was the one who was supposed to come here. He was a scientist like Norm and Grace.” He then placed her hands onto his chest. “He was the one who was supposed to have this body, not me.” He released her hands “Because he was dead, the sky people came looking for me to take his place just so they can save their money. I was basically an accident.”

Jake looked away at the ground as he continued. “When I got here, nobody really liked me, not even Grace. She thought I was just another one of the careless bastards who just get paid to shoot anything they saw. But those bastards found an opportunity with me. Because I was able to dreamwalk, they ordered me to come to you to get what they wanted to destroy Hometree. I didn’t know what to think because they offered to fix my legs when I was done here.”

“Those sky people aren’t like the people I worked with before I came here. Some of them were like the warrior I was, but they became blind and came here because they were promised a big reward of money for just doing what they want.”

He looked over at her and saw a battle of emotions in her face. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know if she should be angry or feel sorry.

“Half-way through this thing I didn’t know what to do from all of the things I’ve seen. But when things got out of hand, when they saw me trying to stop the dozer at the tree of voices, they thought I was a traitor, so I wouldn’t get my legs back when I returned home. And because their main source of diplomacy seemed to desert them, they lost their patience and brought the rain to Hometree. I...” he stopped. He couldn’t say he wanted to help them because it might sound like he was going to blame her for not listening at the time. He did not want to hurt her… not after seeing what she has been through.

He looked over at Neytiri again but she was turned away with her head bent down thinking with a battle of emotions going through her mind. Jake felt he explained enough and just placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Look, I just want to let you know that… I’m sorry.” Neytiri slowly turned he head to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry for you, your father and your people. And I'm sorry I lied to you. I don’t care if this thing is enough to make up for all of that. I just want no more of this world to suffer. That's why I fight.”

Jake lifted his hand off of Neytiri’s shoulder and lifted himself off the log and began to walk away. Neytiri still sat and watched Jake disappear into the now twi-lite forest. She sat there, looked out and images went through he her head. The moment Jake confessed to the clan that he was just a massager for the sky people. She recalled the feeling of shouting out in anger at him when she realized she was betrayed and listening to him when he was asking for forgiveness. The moment where they were waiting for the sky people to come and Jake and Grace yelling at them to run and escape, the moment when they were running from the flames set to Hometree and seeing Jake tied up, looking for what seemed to be an eternity, and running away from him. Leaving him. And she saw what was of now. Him, the sixth rider of Last Shadow.

She stood up and ran into the woods after Jake. She ran and ran, till she found him walking through the glowing jungle.