Avatar-related book: What do you think of this prologue?

[Clarke]

I'm writing a sci-fi book to do with Avatar, and I've managed to polish up a sort of taster for you. Here's a link: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/19813390/HelloEarth.rtf.
(In case it failed to come across, Chiron is a fictional star.)

Now, this isn't fanfic, IMO, for the simple reason that that isn't in Avatar's universe. It's an entirely original universe, but, as you can probably tell, it's very much connected to Avatar's. There's a very good reason for this, but it's actually a plot point, so it'd defeat the purpose explaining it here.

So please, go read it, and tell me what you think. It's almost impossible that it's perfect, and I can take criticism, so fire away.