Things You'd Never Hear an Avatar Character Say

[neytirifanboy]

The operation agains the tree off souls has gone almost perfectly. The RDA have driven off both the Na'vi air attacks and all the Dragon has to do is drop it's deadly cargo on the tree of souls. Quaritch gives the order as he stirs his coffee with a tooth pick. For some reason all the tea spoons had disappeared. He would deal with that later, but for now he was going to saviour the taste of ultimate victory.
Quaritch gives the order and the deadly cargo falls from the Dragon towards the tree of the souls. Quaritch waits for the explosion.
And waits... and waits...and waits....and waits....
And nothing happens.
Quaritch gets on the radio.
Quaritch: Wainfleet. You did load up the Dragon with Daisy cutters?
Wainfleet: Yes sir, we rounded up all the science staff and requisitioned all the equipment, utensils and personal items we could find that would be suitable for cutting and digging up daisies.
Quaritch slaps face with hand.
Quarith: Do you mean to tell me, Wainfleet, that we have just dropped whole pile of lawn mowers and garden sheres on the enemy.
Wainfleet: It wasn't just gardening implements and utensils, sir. We also requisitioned all items that could cut daisies, including nail clippers, scissors and kitchen cuttlery.
Quaritch shakes his head with dismay. That explains the lack of teaspoons.
Quaritch: So, Wainfleet. We have just dumped all our garden equipment, kitchen cuttlery and personal grooming utensils on the enemy? Is that afirmative?
Wainfleet: Among other thing. Yes, sir, it is affirmative.
Quaritch: Wainfleet, did you not realise I meant explosives when I spoke about daisy cutters?
Wainfleet: Er, no sir.
Quaritch: And did you not consider asking me for clarification when you were rounding up all the tea spoons?
Wainfleet: With respect, sir. When you order me to jump, I don't ask how high.
Quaritch slaps his face with his hand again.
Quaritch: And do you know what happened to all the explosives?
Wainfleet: Sorry, sir. I have no idea.
Suddenly there is a huge explosion from the direction of Hell's Gate. In the distance, a giant mushroom cloud rises into the sky in the area where Hell's Gate is situated.
Pilot: Er, sir. We have just lost all communication with Hell's Gate.
Quaritch takes a sip of his coffee and savours the flavour of the fine grains. It would likely be his last cup for a long long time.