Searching for lifemate? Or already have them?

[Pa'li Makto]

Originally Posted by Human No More

Thank you...

I hope I won't, but I don't know... Some days, I feel like this loneliness is just slowly draining me
I try to keep myself happy, distracted, but the only thing that gives me anything any more is Avatar...
Nobody evolved to be alone, we need other people...

Hmmm yeah I felt that in the beginning..but I've met more people and grown happier as a result. Hmm yeah all I can suggest is try to see links with avatar and real life..like the bonds between members of the omaticaya clan and your family and friends..The bond between myself and my brothers helped to ease my PAD..I hope you can do something similar.

I know that we need others, that's why we all congregate on here

[Autumnshire]

And come to meets =) Nobody else going to be near Montana or Oregon later in the year?

[omaticaya]

Originally Posted by Autumnshire

Tehe 'doesn't surprise me that is was started by you, Shire' - I'm that predictable?

Hey, I meant that in a very positive way.
I still think about the amazing conversation we had in the 'how has avatar affected your relationship' thread. It was one of my favourite threads.

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Pa'li Makto

Hmmm yeah I felt that in the beginning..but I've met more people and grown happier as a result. Hmm yeah all I can suggest is try to see links with avatar and real life..like the bonds between members of the omaticaya clan and your family and friends..The bond between myself and my brothers helped to ease my PAD..I hope you can do something similar.

I know that we need others, that's why we all congregate on here

...if only I was so close to them... but really, I am not...
All the people I am closest to are here, the people I trust the most, who I can tell everything.

[Pa'li Makto]

Well even if you can't meet most of us at least we're all here to listen and support you HNM. I'm glad that you feel confident enough to trust us
I'm always happy to help out

[tallbluewanderer]

Originally Posted by Autumnshire

That would be interesting. I could see it happening. Quite frankly I'd rather spend my time with people on here so yeah ^^ Sigh, as you said, the world is much too big

Same here. I don't know how many people on ToS have met in real life, but the connections between people here are incredible for an online forum -- I don't know how well we'd all get along in real life (for example, I'm really shy), but I can't help but imagine that real-life meetings would be fantastic.

[TheIknimaya]

I have not found my special someone yet. I'm 17 years old, never had a girlfriend before, I've been content with this, but not for the last few months.

There is nothing else I want more than to have a special girl, that I can hold in my arms, cuddle with, and just talk to. I want that more than anything. It won't be with any of the girls I know or girls from my school, everyone at my school does drugs and gets drunk all the time, they are a bad group of people, and the girls are like this too. I don't want a girl that does that kind of stuff. Also, I'm extremely shy and that doesn't help.

I want a nice girl to be with, and it seems like there aren't that many around here, or anywhere. All I want is a nice sweet girl to call my sweetheart.

Sorry if I spilled my guts there, but I just get so sad when I think about this.

[Fosus]

Originally Posted by TheIknimaya

I have not found my special someone yet. I'm 17 years old, never had a girlfriend before, I've been content with this, but not for the last few months.

There is nothing else I want more than to have a special girl, that I can hold in my arms, cuddle with, and just talk to. I want that more than anything. It won't be with any of the girls I know or girls from my school, everyone at my school does drugs and gets drunk all the time, they are a bad group of people, and the girls are like this too. I don't want a girl that does that kind of stuff. Also, I'm extremely shy and that doesn't help.

I want a nice girl to be with, and it seems like there aren't that many around here, or anywhere. All I want is a nice sweet girl to call my sweetheart.

Sorry if I spilled my guts there, but I just get so sad when I think about this.

It's sad so many nice girls are getting drunk and hanging around with drug-using jerks... But don't worry, they'll learn. (and if they don't, they deserve it )

As you are willing to love and respect your life mate, I'm sure you'll find her soon.

[Toshowlove]

These threads get me warm and squishy feeling! *gets ready to dig in!*

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

Often people say to me "You're 19 now, shouldn't you have a girlfriend?" and I think that is a little rediculous. Just because you're a certain age, doesn't mean you should have anything. I would love to have a relationship, but not one that is meaningless.

I'd much rather wait to find a real love than have some throw-away relationship that means very little. I need someone who Sees me and I do in return. A relationship that is not based on the superficial things. Maybe this is asking too much, but it's what I long for. It may take a decade to find, it may happen next week, but i'm willing to wait for it.

I hear you! Though i am 20 and in a relationship, i don't believe that the number of years you've live consitutes your relationship status. Shinanigans!

I respect that you want to find a real love, but i can help but question the insinuation that at 19 you can't find it. I've been in my relationship for over a year and i refuse to believe it is "throw away" regardless of me turning 21 this year. Sure its young i guess, but there is school and life to get through and in my opinion, if you can get through that stuff together, you can get through anything.

I find that many people my age in relationships are quick to dismiss them, not eager to put in work for fear of 'giving their heart away' or merely understating the relationship. Perhaps its just me, but EVERYTHING i do in my life i give 100% and i think its silly not to, especially when it comes to relationships.

Needless to say, i'm not a follower of the "throw-away relationships", but it frightens me that this mental is so wide-spread. Age shouldn't denote the quality of your relationship... if it works it works, if not then it doesn't. Why waste time unnecessarily?

[omaticaya]

Originally Posted by TheIknimaya

I want a nice girl to be with, and it seems like there aren't that many around here, or anywhere. All I want is a nice sweet girl to call my sweetheart.
Sorry if I spilled my guts there, but I just get so sad when I think about this.

You don't need to say sorry, because that's exactly what this forum is for. A place you can express yourself like nowhere else, especially if you are a little bit shy. These forums are amazing. When I was 17 and had thoughts and feelings like you have, I wished that something like this existed.

About the girls: I'm sure there are girls who don't get drunk all the time, who think more like you, maybe they are not as noticeable as the others, so you have to look harder for them. And if you are lucky you will find one. Don't give up too early.

Originally Posted by Toshowlove

These threads get me warm and squishy feeling! *gets ready to dig in!*

I find that many people my age in relationships are quick to dismiss them, not eager to put in work for fear of 'giving their heart away' or merely understating the relationship. Perhaps its just me, but EVERYTHING i do in my life i give 100% and i think its silly not to, especially when it comes to relationships.[/COLOR]

Hi Toshowlove, I was already missing to talk to you about relationships, good to see you again.
Well it's not only at your age, but also at my age (almost 30) that ppl are quick to break up relationships. I'm also kind of a 100% person and I think it's a good goal for living, but sometimes relationships aren't good, even if you give 100%, either because your partner is not giving as much or for other reasons. But yeah, the best thing you can do is giving as much as you can.

[omaticaya]

Originally Posted by Human No More

...if only I was so close to them... but really, I am not...
All the people I am closest to are here, the people I trust the most, who I can tell everything.

Hey HNM, I really feel with you.
Maybe you should change your surroundings for a while.
I just came back from a three-weeks-travel to France, Portugal and Spain. I was staying with old friends who live in these countries. It was amazing, completely different surroundings, different languages, different talks, different food, etc than at home. It cured me immediately from all loneliness I had the days before I left.

So, I don't know if you have the opportunity (time and money), but why not travelling to the continent and pay a visit to members of AF or ToS? I think most of us would offer you a couch for some nights.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by TheIknimaya

There is nothing else I want more than to have a special girl, that I can hold in my arms, cuddle with, and just talk to. I want that more than anything. It won't be with any of the girls I know or girls from my school, everyone at my school does drugs and gets drunk all the time, they are a bad group of people, and the girls are like this too. I don't want a girl that does that kind of stuff. Also, I'm extremely shy and that doesn't help.

I want a nice girl to be with, and it seems like there aren't that many around here, or anywhere. All I want is a nice sweet girl to call my sweetheart.

Sorry if I spilled my guts there, but I just get so sad when I think about this.

Don't ever feel sorry for telling us how you feel. These feelings that you have are exactly the ones that I had for years. I wanted nothing more than to find my soulmate and hopefully future husband. It took many years but I found him finally. Don't give up hope. I know it is difficult when most of the people you see at your school are into things that you don't want to be into.

She is out there, a precious gem and like with any valuable treasure, she will be hard to find but when you find her, it will be more sweet because you took the time to find the right one instead of just "hooking up" like so many people do.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Toshowlove

I hear you! Though i am 20 and in a relationship, i don't believe that the number of years you've live consitutes your relationship status. Shinanigans!

You are right because maturity and immaturity comes in different ages. There are 20 year olds that are more mature than 50 year olds. So, it all comes down to how you approach the relationship.

I respect that you want to find a real love, but i can help but question the insinuation that at 19 you can't find it. I've been in my relationship for over a year and i refuse to believe it is "throw away" regardless of me turning 21 this year. Sure its young i guess, but there is school and life to get through and in my opinion, if you can get through that stuff together, you can get through anything.

This is a very good attitude to have. I think that part of it is the glorification of the young. To many want to remain an adolescent forever. You can't. You have to grow up sometime. It is through the trials that you will come closer together.

I find that many people my age in relationships are quick to dismiss them, not eager to put in work for fear of 'giving their heart away' or merely understating the relationship. Perhaps its just me, but EVERYTHING i do in my life i give 100% and i think its silly not to, especially when it comes to relationships.

Exactly and it is because they are not willing to put in the work that the relationship doesn't last and it leads to a LOT of broken hearts and bitter people later on. Good, true relationships take work. The couple will not always have fuzzy feelings for each other. Love is the matter of the will and the desire to please the other, even when you don't want to. It is when instead of thinking of yourself, you are thinking of your partner and you are thinking about "us"..the couple.

Needless to say, i'm not a follower of the "throw-away relationships", but it frightens me that this mental is so wide-spread. Age shouldn't denote the quality of your relationship... if it works it works, if not then it doesn't. Why waste time unnecessarily?

I totally agree. It is sad that there are so many out there that think you must have tons of "throw-away" relationships before you find the one. You don't have to. What you must do is take a mature approach to the relationship. I can't stress the importance more clearly than to say that the couple must be friends first. Build the friendship. Build those connections. If the relationship is solely based on making out, having sex, and having fuzzy feelings then its not going to last. Love builds on friendship and the will.

[Toshowlove]

Originally Posted by rapunzel77

I can't stress the importance more clearly than to say that the couple must be friends first. Build the friendship. Build those connections. If the relationship is solely based on making out, having sex, and having fuzzy feelings then its not going to last. Love builds on friendship and the will.

What words of wisdom! Thank you!

I COMPLETELY agree about the friendship thing. I know especially with me its a friends first basis, so that even if the relationship doesn't end up working out, we are still friends and there is nothing lost. Its part and parcel of being yourself around a person, i would say.

For me, my significant other turns into my best friend, and there is an intimate love that is intertwined into it making the relationship awesome (IMO anyway ) My view of sex is very personal and i must say, through avatar it has become alot more passionate. Hell... its the closest thing we have to tsahaylu... what else can you do!

It sickens me though, the "lets get F*d up and take boys home" mental. I mean i'm a pretty adventurous and sponatneous person, but what about lack of self control is fun, let alone attractive? I live with 4 other girls, many of which bring home 'random guys' who become no more than awkward glances the next day. It must be embarrasing for them when they get into relationships and talk about their previous sexual partners... some can't even tell you their names. *Bleh!*

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Toshowlove

What words of wisdom! Thank you!

I COMPLETELY agree about the friendship thing. I know especially with me its a friends first basis, so that even if the relationship doesn't end up working out, we are still friends and there is nothing lost. Its part and parcel of being yourself around a person, i would say.

For me, my significant other turns into my best friend, and there is an intimate love that is intertwined into it making the relationship awesome (IMO anyway ) My view of sex is very personal and i must say, through avatar it has become alot more passionate. Hell... its the closest thing we have to tsahaylu... what else can you do!

It sickens me though, the "lets get F*d up and take boys home" mental. I mean i'm a pretty adventurous and sponatneous person, but what about lack of self control is fun, let alone attractive? I live with 4 other girls, many of which bring home 'random guys' who become no more than awkward glances the next day. It must be embarrasing for them when they get into relationships and talk about their previous sexual partners... some can't even tell you their names. *Bleh!*

Exactly. My husband is my best friend and my lover. We were friends first and we built on the relationship from there. It is because of this bond that sex is so passionate and intimate. It is sad to see so many people use sex so wantonly because it has such an intimate nature. It is the closest that we have to tsahaylu. That is also probably why the Na'vi mate for life. They understand how intimate it is and how it loses its meaning if it is shared with a bunch of other people.

Its sad to see so many people do that to themselves and their "partners" like your roommates have done. Do they think it will bring them love?