Hopefully Tonight I Can Get Some Sleep

[Autumnshire]

Originally Posted by Stanley_9875

As a few of you may know I haven't gotten good sleep this weekend... I'd lay awake in bed till about 3:30am ish and drift off and wake up again, then finally wake up pretty early in the morning and stay awake. I don't know exactly what's keeping me up; sadness, loneliness (not from you guys and girls, like love relationship type), confusion, guilt... not really sure, I just have this feeling in my gut... It's almost 11pm here and I don't feel in the least bit tired... this has been a confusing weekend... just a bunch of time to think to myself, confused on my emotions... plus also my friends were over sometimes so it was different... like this morning when I took a shower I just sat there in the shower and let the water wash on top of me for like 15 minutes. and tonight I just sat outside on our spa house roof and stared up at the sky for like 10-15 minutes. I don't want this to sound really depressing or anything, I'm just confused on why I'm feeling like this... it could be because of my sleeplessness... but what's causing that? hopefully I get the sleep I need tonight, but like I said I don't feel tired.

Oh well we'll see what happens... sorry I know some of you don't care if I release my emotions, but I still feel guilty :/

also thank you toshowlove, immo, and mune for talking with me tonight

I'm sorry to hear this, tsmukan. It's so weird. I know what you mean though. I have so many times like this. I just go outside, late at night, and just walk. I don't even know where I'm walking to. Lately it's been getting cold out so that sends me home more quickly, but it's weird. Sometimes I go to the skate park near me and just sit there, and look up at the stars, vaguely aware of the traffic passing and people probably looking at me going wtf. Even in this house, when I am near people (Mum, sis, her bf - those two probably make it worse, all their lovey-dovey antics... good for them but they rub it in a bit too much sometimes ), I just feel so far away from EVERYONE. It's like.. I go into this zone, where I'm waiting to connect with something or someone far away... It must exist, but I can't access it yet; I haven't found it yet.
I dunno, ma tsmukan. Talking about it is good, of course. But what to physically do... I dunno. Maybe sleep deprivation has something to do with it for you? I hope you find a way to sleep. Do you listen to music while you go to bed? Sometimes if I'm having major difficulty, I just give up on the whole sleep thing, and I put in my headphones instead. I listen to music on my 'adventure me' playlist on my iPod - tracks (mainly instrumentals, like James Horner's work) that just take my mind away from my physical space. It calms me down, daydreaming about other things and other places. Adventures I could be having in another world. I dunno, might sound weird and mental. But it's how I spend a lot of my time. Just dreaming, and thinking about other places. Letting my imagination inspire me.
Sigh...

I really wanna visit ya