Tips for finding a mate/gf/bf, etc

[rapunzel77]

Since it is May and it seems that Cupid is using the internet more these days (sending cyber arrows) and it looks like from some reports that have been made here on TOS that some of the members are finding love then it might be helpful or I might just be blowing a lot of wind to give some tips as to what to do if by some chance Cupid decides to strike you with an arrow and the object of your affection just so happens to live very far away.

I will also try to give some paltry tips on how to find a mate in general. This is a pertinent topic and it seems to be one of great importance for many of TOS's citizens.

So, here it goes:

1. Know what you want. This is easier said than done but it will be helpful. There are a lot of bad eggs out there but there are also good ones. You have to be a bit savvy, especially in these times. Have a criteria in place. For those of you who have religious beliefs, pray for the person you want to meet. Let God know what you want. For those of you who don't have such beliefs, thats fine. This still applies to you too in that you must know what you want.


2. Be Yourself. Introduce yourself to the man/woman with confidence and with ease. I know that it might feel awkward. I know there will be a certain amount of nervousness but the best thing to do is be natural.

3. All relationships, but especially in the sort that is intimate in nature, must be build on a solid foundation of trust, friendship, love, and above all..Honesty. Without any of these foundation marks, the chances of the relationship sustaining the trials that WILL come will be slim.

4. So, the first thing that one must do is cultivate a good friendship. Get to know one another at the most important of levels: emotional, spiritual, etc. Take an interest in the other persons's opinions and hobbies. Don't dominate the conversation and don't pressure the other person to do things that you don't want to do. Share your interests with the other person. Cultivate common interests. That will be helpful down the road.

5. Be honest with each other. Don't be afraid to show faults. None of us are perfect and if you keep something back from them and then show or reveal one of your faults later that can lead to a serious problem because it would seem to indicate that you didn't trust them enough with that information. I know that some might not like the idea of being totally transparent. It isn't easy but it might be helpful.

6. Cultivate patience, especially in an online dating situation. It isn't easy and the distance can seem considerable at times. The worst part is the longing and the constant daydreaming of the moment that you see your love face to face. However, even in those times of anticipation, patience will help you get through it no matter how difficult it might be.

7. Talk about everything, especially if this is a relationship that might lead to marriage. Its very important that there be total trust with the person. If you are a person of religious beliefs and your love is too, I would advise that the two of you pray together. That will help to strengthen your spiritual bond. If you are the sort that doesn't have any beliefs, all the other rules should apply (building trust, honesty, friendship, etc).


These are just a few pointers that I have from the little experience that I have had. I hope this helps some for those who are looking for someone or who are just starting out in a relationship.