Can I not have what I want?

[Cyan]

Contrary to what you might think, i need to let this out.

I'm struggling to come to terms with this online relationship thing, i love the girl with all my heart, but then immence pain proceeds my thought of happiness, the bearing realisation that i am a dreamer, and that i get carried away. Can i not have a fully developed relationship, with a girl who offers soo much, and expects little return, someone who showers you with love, expresses themselves to you and make you feel wholesome and good. I want this, i'm determined to get this further, but these crashing doubts are consuming me, i want this i really do, i feel like i have found my equal, the girl, the one thing i feel i might deserve. Am i being too ambitious, am i infatuated or really do i have the chances, because im currently saddened by this, im not considering at all to change the situation, im not leaving her for one second, she is alot to me, and this may sound dramatic.

I want this, i really do, and i need you guys right now to guide me into sense.