So desperately sad... in need of support

[Eltu]

...where should I start?

I have restrained myself from making these kind of posts, mostly because there are people IRL who knows about ToS that I do not want to know much of how I feel.

But really... I simply don't care about that anymore... they can think what they want. And tonight everything suddenly struck me, like a wave of realizations and sadness.

The life I live today... it does not feel like it is mine. Every single day is followed by an amazingly beautiful sunset... Earth is capable of showing us great beauty, filling our lives with happiness...

But do we experience this? No.

Everyone sits inside, almost every single day, doing the same things every day... the days blend together... we COULD experience the beauty of Earth together... but we don't. Not today. Not in this society.

And that's what it boils down to, really... I am not depressed because Earth is not beautiful... Earth is a wonderful place. But today's society... a whole different thing. The sense of community... where everyone around you, every day, are persons you can share your life with... it's not present in modern society.

I look out my window, look down at the city where I live... it's cold, lifeless... destroyed.

"We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a small variation of the last, every movement smoothly following the curves of social norms."

I do not want to live a life like this... I want to live, truly live a life, on EARTH, not in a steel wasteland. A life among people I TRULY know.

I don't know what to do... I'm lost...