Understanding

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

Overly glorifying thread I'd say, because even though we think we understand, that's usually only a delusion to make us feel content, or to help others through kind words and alike.

I'm not saying that this isn't a friendly community, because it is. I'm just pointing out that when it comes to humans, things tend to get so complex, there's no way of telling how things really are. It's impossible to converse in such way that people would understand one another, at least on purely text based level anyways, because text lacks all the emotion of the writer. The person reading the text must interpret the emotional value of the text on their own terms, and as we are all different, we make up different conclusions about things.
Well apparently I've sunken so deep into my depression, that I no longer see things as they are, I don't know. But I guess I'd better leave, so I wont risk hurting others who still feel the spark of life.

I'm sorry that you are depressed right now Aquaplant. When one is depressed, they often can't see the good that is in front of them . Alleycat is right that we can be totally open on TOS. What helps is that some of us have had similar experiences. I have experienced depression before and the feeling of loneliness. I think that most of us have. None of us are "professionals" but sometimes all you need is a listening ear.

We are here to share our experiences, talking about Avatar, or just being a friend. Rest assured, you are not hurting anyone by expressing to all of us that you are depressed. Depression has happened to us all. In fact, if it is possible for you, allow us to help. No one will judge you. There are many good listeners here on TOS. Let us help. I don't think that any of us want you to leave. You contribute with some good posts and I found our discussion on religion to be helpful and enjoyable .

If you want, you can always PM me. I'll listen.

[allycat]

Originally Posted by Txantsulsam Fyawintxu

Yeah, I feel the same way as you do allycat, except that I gradually accepted the fact that most people will simply not 'get it' until they experience it or see things a bit similarly. I don't get as mad as I used to be, and realized that it's impossible to create a massive world wide change if the rest of the population isn't willingly accepting or nonjudgmental. This is largely due to extreme amounts of denial in their consciousness as well as unawareness of who they truly are in the depths of their soul. I would say that in their case, the saying "Ignorance is bliss" is apparent, yet to us it is obvious. We can see past the facade they portray and are oblivious to what lies right in front of them. Your mother is probably one of those people who either aware of what's happening and tries to deny as much as possible or is heavily distracted and conditioned by what society imposes on her. Of course, I'm not trying to judge but rather give an estimate on her behavior and guess what she's like. The reason why I said this was because I've seen so many people like that in my life time and it's amazingly shocking to me how these people cannot see it when it's so simple. I suppose this is one of the extreme cases of ignorance and the amount of conditioning is astonishing. Your representation of the television show 'Intervention' (saw that show by the way, loved it! ) is a great example of what's going on in modern society and its insanity. Whatever the case may be, I wish all these unfortunate souls a wake up call so they can see the reality behind their actions and their way of thinking.

hey! omy i didnt even see this! i am so sorry! i will quote on it now!
you are right! people deny it and choose to ignore it! if they were not that way maybe this world would be a better place! it is true that the majority is not willing to change which really sucks i agree with you on that that it would be hard to change the world because of that.. thats why there is one kind act at a time maybe that will eventually help lol you are also right about my mom.. i think its a bit of both./. she knows that some of these people cant think for themselves but she is denying some of it.. and her whole life since being an older teen she has always worn makeup and liked heels.. ick sorry to say haha and uve seen the show before? thats so awesome it is a good show! i wish that too trust me.. i do.. i feel sorry for them in a sense cause they have no brains of their own, yet they are just dimwitted, so im not always feeling sorry forthem haha

[madman]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

Well apparently I've sunken so deep into my depression, that I no longer see things as they are, I don't know. But I guess I'd better leave, so I wont risk hurting others who still feel the spark of life.

No I don't think you should leave. This post here is much more constructive than the last. What you have shown with this post is a spark of vulnerability. This is what brought so many of us here. I sought answers to why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Perhaps we aren't 'professionals' per say, but we all have our own experiences that we can share with you should you want it. It helps, it really does. I do hope that you stay and open up a little. Perhaps then you will see how great of a place this really is. You are not alone ma tsmukan.

[Txantsulsam Fyawintxu]

Originally Posted by madman

No I don't think you should leave. This post here is much more constructive than the last. What you have shown with this post is a spark of vulnerability. This is what brought so many of us here. I sought answers to why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Perhaps we aren't 'professionals' per say, but we all have our own experiences that we can share with you should you want it. It helps, it really does. I do hope that you stay and open up a little. Perhaps then you will see how great of a place this really is.

^^^ This. It's entirely up to you whether you want to stay or not,
but just know that we are all here for you.
We will not judge your decisions, not one bit.

[Aquaplant]

Thank you all for your kind words and understanding.

I want to apologize for the things I've said. I never meant to hurt anyone, but I know I've done so with my inconsiderate words.

Depression has darkened my heart and clouded my mind with anger and despair. I feel like I no longer belong here, where people are happy and kind to one another. I just don't know what to do.

[madman]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

Thank you all for your kind words and understanding.

I want to apologize for the things I've said. I never meant to hurt anyone, but I know I've done so with my inconsiderate words.

Depression has darkened my heart and clouded my mind with anger and despair. I feel like I no longer belong here, where people are happy and kind to one another. I just don't know what to do.

Oh, but you do belong here. Not every one of us is happy everyday. We all have our ups and downs. Simply because you are sharing how you feel with us makes you a contributing and valued member of this community. Can you elaborate on what has you so down?

[Aquaplant]

Originally Posted by madman

Oh, but you do belong here. Not every one of us is happy everyday. We all have our ups and downs. Simply because you are sharing how you feel with us makes you a contributing and valued member of this community. Can you elaborate on what has you so down?

I don't know what really causes all this, it could be pretty much anything that's currently wrong with my life, but there are so many, that it's impossible to say if it's even any of those.

Maybe it's something I refuse to acknowledge to myself, and have it buried so deep that I'll never find it again, I can only speculate, because I don't know.

I tried to explain some of it to Toshowlove, since she asked what was causing my moody behaviour, but that didn't really amount to anything. How can I hope to explain any of it when I don't even understand myself anymore.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

Thank you all for your kind words and understanding.

I want to apologize for the things I've said. I never meant to hurt anyone, but I know I've done so with my inconsiderate words.

Depression has darkened my heart and clouded my mind with anger and despair. I feel like I no longer belong here, where people are happy and kind to one another. I just don't know what to do.

There is no need to apologize Aquaplant . You haven't hurt anyone. It is you who is hurt and lonely and we are all here to help each other. You belong here just as much as everyone else. In fact, it would be worse for your depression if you did leave because your heart will darken even more . Here there is a spark of life, of hope, of a possibility of getting out of the darkness because many of us have gone through depression before or are in the throes of depression. We can help, if you let us.

[allycat]

everyone belongs here unless they cause a big amount of trouble that would make people really dislike them, but you didnt do that Aquaplant. we feel for you and hope you feel better we really hope you do *hugs*

[Stanley_9875]

agreed aquaplant, we're here for you. No one will judge you... I won't I can't judge and I don't hate. You're surrounded by people who love you here.

[Aquaplant]

I don't know what to say. Words fail me at expressing how I feel that so many of you care and want to help.

I just hope that I knew what is wrong with me, because I feel like I'm wasting your time and effort on my problems that even I can't understand. How can you hope to help me, if I can't tell you what's wrong?

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

I don't know what to say. Words fail me at expressing how I feel that so many of you care and want to help.

I just hope that I knew what is wrong with me, because I feel like I'm wasting your time and effort on my problems that even I can't understand. How can you hope to help me, if I can't tell you what's wrong?

I understand why you would feel this way but rest assured we do understand and we won't judge you at all. We'll listen to whatever you need to say. Perhaps by allowing some of us to listen to your problems, we can maybe assess what might be the problem. Sometimes getting outside opinions do help.

[Aquaplant]

Originally Posted by rapunzel77

I understand why you would feel this way but rest assured we do understand and we won't judge you at all. We'll listen to whatever you need to say. Perhaps by allowing some of us to listen to your problems, we can maybe assess what might be the problem. Sometimes getting outside opinions do help.

But I don't know what to say. I feel so useless when I can't do anything even when people are willingly offering help.

I feel so alone, even when you are all here, but you are all still so far away, and I'm never even going to see any of you. And talking like this just isn't the same as talking in person.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Aquaplant

But I don't know what to say. I feel so useless when I can't do anything even when people are willingly offering help.

I feel so alone, even when you are all here, but you are all still so far away, and I'm never even going to see any of you. And talking like this just isn't the same as talking in person.

I agree that talking on the internet is not the same as talking in person however there is no guarantee that you will never meet any of us offline. Who knows?

In the meantime, know that you are loved, understood, and appreciated here. I know that might not be much and it might feel worse because none of us are there in person. However, you are NOT alone. It might feel that way but you are not, ok? ((hugs))

[Stanley_9875]

your not wasting our times aquaplant... I'm here to help, rupunzle is here to help... I beleive we're all here to help and listen. Dig deep within yourself, try to locate the source. What is causing you from waking up and saying, "Today is a good day"?