Lonliness.

[allycat]

np dont feel bad tho!! its not a bad thing to talk about these things! if we could not vent about certain things, then it would be hard to control our anger and stuff

we are always willing to listen! and trust me, we are all not happy people.. including myself LOL! ive had some problems for the last week or so.. its hard to explain lol

[Fkeu'itan]

Aww... again, thanks ally and indeed everyone. *hugs to all*

I know sometimes it's good to vent things but not at the expense of everyone else's hapiness. I realise everyone has their own difficulties though and i'm willing to support back should anyone ever need it. It's only fair after all you have done for me.

[allycat]

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

Aww... again, thanks ally and indeed everyone. *hugs to all*

I know sometimes it's good to vent things but not at the expense of everyone else's hapiness. I realise everyone has their own difficulties though and i'm willing to support back should anyone ever need it. It's only fair after all you have done for me.

np *hugs back and to all *

i know what you mean, i understand it is true.. it gets to people sometimes there's no harm when we are all just trying to talk and discuss.. which makes venting good, until it gets outof hand lol
awww we are looking forward to you being behind us

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

Aww... again, thanks ally and indeed everyone. *hugs to all*

I know sometimes it's good to vent things but not at the expense of everyone else's hapiness. I realise everyone has their own difficulties though and i'm willing to support back should anyone ever need it. It's only fair after all you have done for me.

I don't believe it is at anyone's expense . All of us have our bad days and times of depression and loneliness. We are encouraging and helping each other. Venting does help because that way you can get it off your chest instead of bottling up the feelings which are not good. Don't ever apologize for venting and letting your feelings of loneliness known. We are here to help.

((hugs))

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

I'm revivng his thread because it's back. And it's back like a relentless monster tearing me to shreds.

I don't know why, but it seems like everyone who could ever love me is hundreds, nay, thousands of miles away from me and their souls even further still... while i'm here, stuck on a tiny island with a culture so backwards and screwed up that I doubt any one else out there even feels the same way. Completely deserted.

I like to tell myself that there is someone, anyone at all out there, but it just feels like i'm lying to myself... like it's all just a way to comfortably mislead myself into thinking something will come bit I don't know if it ever will for as long as I live. I know i've probably said this countless times before but I know what I really want, what I really need to feel whole, but I feel like i'm asking too much. Seeking something that's impossible to find for someone like me in a place like mine.

It feels like all I have is this diminished, sickly, rediculous sense of hope and that alone could never be enough, which only serves to extinguish the flame even further. I don't want to live like this... slowly dying inside, a crucial piece missing from my estranged puzzle while I wear this false mask of hapiness. I don't know what I have to do. I have to get out there and get 'involved' but it all seems just so utterly pointless. A world that could only ever be filled with hatred, regret and sadness.

I just feel like giving up everything, just stop looking, stop feeling. Anything. Just accept the cold but brutal reality. That I am meant to be alone for all eternity. That I have to settle for something meaningless. Settle for a coupling between people who don't really understand each other, who have no connection. People who don't really love each other, people who just came together for nothing more than convenience sake. Settle for something empty.

I don't know why it's so hard, so excruciatingly painful... is it that i'm hurting people? People that I can't see? People I don't know? I don't know why I deserve this. Was I not supposed to want to something like this? I just don't know. I know everyone is sick of me and my pathetic person. Even as I write this, I do nothing but cause pain and hurt.
All I can say is i'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all the things i've done, that i'm doing.
Sorry for things that I don't understand.
Sorry for my feelings.
Sorry for being me.

I've overused this before, but here, I mean it so deeply:

Oel ngati kameie


Remember, we're all far away, but we're all here. As Neytiri said (in the script), spirit is all that matters.
I still hope some day I will get to meet all the wonderful people here

I know it doesn't really help with not having anyone, but keep that in mind.

I've wanted to give up before, but I can't Something keeps me going, in the hope, or the knowledge, that one day I WILL find her. She's out there, I just have to make it happen. The wait is hard, but it will be worth it, ma tsmukan.

I've been listening to this a lot in these moments. Yes, it is metal, but it's very soft, and very deep and thoughtful

Originally Posted by Fkeu'itan

I know sometimes it's good to vent things but not at the expense of everyone else's hapiness. I realise everyone has their own difficulties though and i'm willing to support back should anyone ever need it. It's only fair after all you have done for me.

I'd need to be happy first... Really, what makes me happier, is helping my aytsmukan and aytsmuke who need me. I don't know what I'd have done by now without you...

I'm getting all emotional again so I'd better stop

[Fkeu'itan]

Thanks HNM, it was indeed a deep, thought provoking song. I helped me out even more.
Thank you and everyone else who offered support again.

I share with you a song that helped me out through this. Not really my usual stuff, but the lyrics are very, very effective.

[Wanderling]

Fkeu, HNM said it perfectly...

Originally Posted by Human No More

Really, what makes me happier, is helping my aytsmukan and aytsmuke who need me. I don't know what I'd have done by now without you...

You are no burden to let your feelings out here and seek the help you need. You help others by letting us help you, truly. As Rapunzel said, keeping things inside does no good at all for you or anyone around you. I'm really glad you are feeling better, ma tsmukan.

The song you posted is terrific...there are some songs that just speak for the soul. Thank you for sharing it.

(And HNM, ever since you first posted that song in one of the music threads, I've listened to it when I'm feeling badly and I always think of you guys here...and I feel a little better. Thank you.)

*hugs everyone here, because you deserve it*

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Canbelieve

Hmm, after the third time opening and closing this thread, I decided to write something.
Well, Fkeu'itan, I feel the same. But with one difference. I've found this person who I want give my love to. But, it's like always, it doesn't happen. I can't stop thinking about her, but we get more distant and I feel even more bad.
So, what to do? Walk around playing the happy guy trying not to think about it? Getting so sad and drown in your own anger, trying to help yourself by saying there will be another one or "someone out there..."?! Maybe acting like the cool souverain guy who doesn't care?
Hmm, "stupid" situation. That's why I'm writing at this topic now. I could run against a wall a hundred times, but nothing would change. Stupid example, I know. Oh, sorry, I've forgotten, it's your thread. I just thought I shouldn't open a new one, just to tell some people thounds of miles away how I feel for catching some consolatory. But it's human.
What to say, what would help? I don't know. Really.

Now I'm thinking about deleting this post, I mean, it won't change anything, but I think it's the right place for posting stuff like that. I told this two of my friends and one couldn't stop laughing about me. I'm not angry or anything like that. I can understand him, he was near explouding of laughing... . The other one understood. He's not as childish as the other one, maybe that's why he has a girlfriend, the laughing guy hasn't.

Last words. You're young Fkeu'itan, so don't worry too much. Time will come for everyone of us.

Canbelieve. First, I want to welcome you to TOS. Second, it sounds to me that you are experiencing a large amount of pain . I'm sorry that your friends laughed at you for being in pain. That is very sad and I know that would add to your loneliness. If it is possible for you to do right now, have some hope. Is it possible for you to talk things out with her? Or is she not interested?

There is nothing more painful than unrequited love or I should say longing or desire. Know that we are all here to encourage each other. You are not the first to be lonely and to experience the pain of love. We all have. I hope this helps some. If not, tell us how to better help .

[Fkeu'itan]

Originally Posted by Canbelieve

Hmm, after the third time opening and closing this thread, I decided to write something.
Well, Fkeu'itan, I feel the same. But with one difference. I've found this person who I want give my love to. But, it's like always, it doesn't happen. I can't stop thinking about her, but we get more distant and I feel even more bad.
So, what to do? Walk around playing the happy guy trying not to think about it? Getting so sad and drown in your own anger, trying to help yourself by saying there will be another one or "someone out there..."?! Maybe acting like the cool souverain guy who doesn't care?
Hmm, "stupid" situation. That's why I'm writing at this topic now. I could run against a wall a hundred times, but nothing would change. Stupid example, I know. Oh, sorry, I've forgotten, it's your thread. I just thought I shouldn't open a new one, just to tell some people thounds of miles away how I feel for catching some consolatory. But it's human.
What to say, what would help? I don't know. Really.

Now I'm thinking about deleting this post, I mean, it won't change anything, but I think it's the right place for posting stuff like that. I told this two of my friends and one couldn't stop laughing about me. I'm not angry or anything like that. I can understand him, he was near explouding of laughing... . The other one understood. He's not as childish as the other one, maybe that's why he has a girlfriend, the laughing guy hasn't.

Last words. You're young Fkeu'itan, so don't worry too much. Time will come for everyone of us.

Let me first begin by saying two things Canbelieve.

Firstly, this is not just MY thread, it is everyone's. It was merely started by me, yet many others have voiced the opinions and troubles here, so please don't feel like you're taking it over. As I said, it was started as a place for general discussion of this feeling that many of us on this forum have. You are free to post what you have to say or ask just as anyone else is.

Second, let me say thank you for voicing. I'm glad you did as with everyone here. You may be in a slightly different position, but all issues and their following advice and answers counts towards 'solving' the whole. Your comments certainly helped me out.

You probably know from reading the rest of this thread (or at least this page) that we are feeling a pain that is indescibable in it's form and severity, a pain that comes directly from the soul. As rapunzel said, it's difficult to be laughed at or sometimes even to have it shoved right under your nose that you're in the position that you are, that what you're looking for in someone is going against what our modern society promotes these days. I have felt it too and I still feel it every single day. I'm sorry you were treated like that by your friends.

As for advice, as you well know, I may not be the best person to approach on this matter having had no experience, but to me it sounds like what you and her have is very special indeed. I would say that if you feel like you're drifting apart and provided you both want to, try to pull closer again. Perhaps seeking a relationship straight away would be a little too 'on-the-offensive' so maybe the best way would be to simply begin by getting closer again and then see where some time together leads you from there.

As i say, I don't have the experience, but in my personal opinion that would be a good way to approach it.

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Canbelieve

Hmm, after the third time opening and closing this thread, I decided to write something.
Well, Fkeu'itan, I feel the same. But with one difference. I've found this person who I want give my love to. But, it's like always, it doesn't happen. I can't stop thinking about her, but we get more distant and I feel even more bad.
So, what to do? Walk around playing the happy guy trying not to think about it? Getting so sad and drown in your own anger, trying to help yourself by saying there will be another one or "someone out there..."?! Maybe acting like the cool souverain guy who doesn't care?
Hmm, "stupid" situation. That's why I'm writing at this topic now. I could run against a wall a hundred times, but nothing would change. Stupid example, I know. Oh, sorry, I've forgotten, it's your thread. I just thought I shouldn't open a new one, just to tell some people thounds of miles away how I feel for catching some consolatory. But it's human.
What to say, what would help? I don't know. Really.

Now I'm thinking about deleting this post, I mean, it won't change anything, but I think it's the right place for posting stuff like that. I told this two of my friends and one couldn't stop laughing about me. I'm not angry or anything like that. I can understand him, he was near explouding of laughing... . The other one understood. He's not as childish as the other one, maybe that's why he has a girlfriend, the laughing guy hasn't.

Last words. You're young Fkeu'itan, so don't worry too much. Time will come for everyone of us.

Oel ngati kameie...

I'm partly in the same situation, and I really don't know...