"I Don't Know Who You Are Anymore..."

[LOGAN]

Hello Tristan,
well lots have been said already, but I figured I'll through my 2 cents.

You are on your way to become a man, a great one ! I'm not a father myself but I know this is scary to parents...to feel they loose the "hold" they had on you. The were the ones protecting you since you were a kid and to see that you can now do it on your own isn't easy. But I know how you feel, I grew up with and overprotective mother and it wasn't easy at all. You feel trapped while trying to be yourself. In time, this will pass. Give it some time

It's hard for most people to understand what you are feeling for the people here and all that you get from the same people. For someone who didn't experience it, truly knowing what it's all about is nearly impossible. I wish there was a place like this when I was a kid...unfortunately, no Avatar to help me open my eyes nor this place to come for comfort, I could only count on myself. So you have to understand people won't get it...let's face it, internet is full of nasty stuff everywhere.

I'm sure your parents means well, but nobody's perfect and maybe the way they express themselves isn't the best. Try to talk to them see if you can work things out. Communication is the key to understanding. We are all very different people with each our own way of seeing things, but if there is love, there is always a way to make things work out okay.

And your bracelet thing is AWESOME ! there is nothing like wearing meaningful jewelry. This feeling, like you carry a little piece of something amazing with you everywhere, is something money can't buy.

I trust things will get better for you ...and you know we are all behind you at all times

[Sight Unseen]

Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan. My family is the same way, albeit somewhat more strict in the implementation. Doesn't it simply suck to be surrounded 24/7 by people that don't understand you?

Well, I've been banned from using my PC for a few months now for repeatedly getting caught chatting on the Internet. (mostly ToS forums or #treeofsouls) Still hasn't stopped me from posting here when the parental units aren't around. Oh, Eywa. Cyber-paranoid parents. I could rant for another 3 pages. (If you want a link, I did rant for 3 pages on AF a while back. )

You on the other hand, are 19. They couldn't really stop you from being on the internet all night. And, why do your parents believe you've changed for the worst? Is it because they see you as a room-recluse? Same here, except in my room, the only thing I can do when my parents are home is watch BSG re-runs. I'm guessing they aren't around when you are being kind to people.

Don't you wish that everyone around you would truly listen to you, even for a few seconds? I guess that's what ToS provides. People that understand you.

I have gotten that crazy sort of "sit down, shut up, be normal" look quite a lot since Avatar, both from people at school and my parents. I guess its good to be different than all the other sheeple out there, it shows that you're still alive inside, but it comes at a great cost. Like they say, "People fear what they do not understand."

Be strong. Strength comes from what you believe in. Draw strength from thoughts of the Na'vi and Pandora. It's brought me through a lot of hard places in life. I just sit back, let my mind wander to Pandora...then everything just seems right as rain.

Don't fall into believing what they say. You know that you've changed for the better, and if they don't see that, it doesn't matter.

Thanks for bearing with me. Once again, I find myself typing madly to get my thoughts out before I forget.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is I feel your pain, ma tsmukan. *hug*

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Sight Unseen

Well, I've been banned from using my PC for a few months now for repeatedly getting caught chatting on the Internet. (mostly ToS forums or #treeofsouls) Still hasn't stopped me from posting here when the parental units aren't around. Oh, Eywa. Cyber-paranoid parents. I could rant for another 3 pages. (If you want a link, I did rant for 3 pages on AF a while back. )

I remember that thread Sight Unseen. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't any better with your parents. I can understand where your parents are coming from, kinda. I know it sounds silly for them to react the way that they have. I hope things get better for you. Its to bad I couldn't have a talk with your parents as well as Tristian's (stanley). I could help to set some of their fears aside. None of us here are criminals that we know of and even if that was the case, it still wouldn't change anything on here .

[Davy Jones]

You'll all have to forgive me for not reading all replies properly, I am running out of time (will fall asleep any minute now).

I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel, my mother can be the same sometimes. I spend a lot of time playing xbox or sitting at my laptop, it's pretty much all I do in my freetime nowadays. Why? Lack of other things to do, and quite frankly, lack of motivation to find other things to do. I am perfectly fine with this - my current situation - as it is.

My mother wants me to be away more from the computer, but she seems to think it's fine to watch some TV. The way I have it figured is, looking at a screen and looking at a screen is pretty much the same thing, right? Like you said, she's fine with me reading and stuff. I honestly don't see the difference. I probably move even less when reading than when chatting (don't misinterpret ).

Anyways, she wants me to do what "other people my age do". I wish I could tell them what other people in my age really do. They go out, drink, smoke whatever they can get, and have a hell of a time.
I normally wouldn't mind this, and I would join in (and I do, however rarely). But here comes the funny part: I'm 16, aka underage in my country.

I can't really tell her that my friends are out drinking because that'd be... well, squealing on my friends...
Sometimes I just feel like saying "Fine, I'll go meet with my friends", and then come home completely smashed.
Ought to shut her up.

That's the situation here... when I ask her what she wants me to do instead of sitting at the computer, she never really gives me any answers.

I feel that after a long school day (8 hours or so), I should be allowed to relax and do whatever I want, right?
Apparently not.

I seem to have persuaded her to leave me the f*ck alone now though. I slowly explained to her how retarded she is. Didn't really work at first, you just gotta keep explaining. Parents are retarded. They do not See.

I hope the topic hasn't changed to something entirely different since the first post, since I as previously mentioned don't have time to read all the replies at the moment
I hope you can.. relate or whatever you wanna call it... with any of this.

Sincerely, Xynth.

[Taw Makto]

'Rents these days have zero clue what it means to grow up *with* the internet, and equally have zero clue that it *can* make you a better, more articulate, more knowledgeable and well rounded person. The web gets a bad rap from all the smut and creepy dudes and dudettes that lurk in dark corners. There's lots for parents to rightfully fear. But there's also a helluva lot of good. All the science sites, the social networking and fan sites....all the news....creativity and learning can abound. The problem is that it's just not in their world view. It's going to take another generation for this to subside. It's unfortunate....and frustrating.

[Davy Jones]

Originally Posted by Taw Makto

'Rents these days have zero clue what it means to grow up *with* the internet, and equally have zero clue that it *can* make you a better, more articulate, more knowledgeable and well rounded person. The web gets a bad rap from all the smut and creepy dudes and dudettes that lurk in dark corners. There's lots for parents to rightfully fear. But there's also a helluva lot of good. All the science sites, the social networking and fan sites....all the news....creativity and learning can abound. The problem is that it's just not in their world view. It's going to take another generation for this to subside. It's unfortunate....and frustrating.

What can I say? I agree fully. Hopefully, the next generation (we) will be more "tolerant" (Seeing?).

That is, if we survive that long...

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Sight Unseen

Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan. My family is the same way, albeit somewhat more strict in the implementation. Doesn't it simply suck to be surrounded 24/7 by people that don't understand you?

Well, I've been banned from using my PC for a few months now for repeatedly getting caught chatting on the Internet. (mostly ToS forums or #treeofsouls) Still hasn't stopped me from posting here when the parental units aren't around. Oh, Eywa. Cyber-paranoid parents. I could rant for another 3 pages. (If you want a link, I did rant for 3 pages on AF a while back. )

You on the other hand, are 19. They couldn't really stop you from being on the internet all night. And, why do your parents believe you've changed for the worst? Is it because they see you as a room-recluse? Same here, except in my room, the only thing I can do when my parents are home is watch BSG re-runs. I'm guessing they aren't around when you are being kind to people.

Don't you wish that everyone around you would truly listen to you, even for a few seconds? I guess that's what ToS provides. People that understand you.

I have gotten that crazy sort of "sit down, shut up, be normal" look quite a lot since Avatar, both from people at school and my parents. I guess its good to be different than all the other sheeple out there, it shows that you're still alive inside, but it comes at a great cost. Like they say, "People fear what they do not understand."

Be strong. Strength comes from what you believe in. Draw strength from thoughts of the Na'vi and Pandora. It's brought me through a lot of hard places in life. I just sit back, let my mind wander to Pandora...then everything just seems right as rain.

Don't fall into believing what they say. You know that you've changed for the better, and if they don't see that, it doesn't matter.

Thanks for bearing with me. Once again, I find myself typing madly to get my thoughts out before I forget.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is I feel your pain, ma tsmukan. *hug*

I'm sorry to hear your parents are still being a problem

Just remember, nobody can take what you think, and who you are
That goes for everyone here.

[Txum_kali'weya]

well, i have no idea cause my mom's gonna kick me out of the house at 19.

[Sight Unseen]

Thanks for all the support guys (and gals) *hugs*. Remember, this is Stanley's thread. I gotta learn to stop talking about myself so often.

[Human No More]

It's a not a problem, we all need some support... I would offer my story too if it was giving me problems right now, but mine are coming from elsewhere at the moment

[tyrael]

Hi Stanley,

first of all i think it is simply the generation gap. It might be unusal for your parents to spend much time on the internet (to speak from my own experience ). Futhermorde it is a place where they aren't able to protect you from bad influences. From your parents point of view you will always be child and it doesn't matter how old you are.

I can't give you any advise but maybe it helps if you share some of your experiences from the internet with your family and try to lay out why you have changed your life that way.

Finally keep in mind that it is just another way to show their love for you.

[Sight Unseen]

Originally Posted by tyrael

Hi Stanley,

first of all i think it is simply the generation gap. It might be unusal for your parents to spend much time on the internet (to speak from my own experience ). Futhermorde it is a place where they aren't able to protect you from bad influences.

This^. They (Stanley's/my parents) think it's wierd to sit in front of a lcdd for hours on end doing the same thing. Also, to compound this, the Internet is one of the few places that they can't control it's influence on us. This leads to parental paranoia, and unnecessary fear.

[Stanley_9875]

Originally Posted by Sight Unseen

Thanks for all the support guys (and gals) *hugs*. Remember, this is Stanley's thread. I gotta learn to stop talking about myself so often.

Hey Sight Unseen, its totally cool... you have a related story, and I'm 100% cool with you sharing it No need to worry

Originally Posted by tyrael

Hi Stanley,

first of all i think it is simply the generation gap. It might be unusal for your parents to spend much time on the internet (to speak from my own experience ). Futhermorde it is a place where they aren't able to protect you from bad influences. From your parents point of view you will always be child and it doesn't matter how old you are.

I can't give you any advise but maybe it helps if you share some of your experiences from the internet with your family and try to lay out why you have changed your life that way.

Finally keep in mind that it is just another way to show their love for you.

Originally Posted by Sight Unseen

This^. They (Stanley's/my parents) think it's wierd to sit in front of a lcdd for hours on end doing the same thing. Also, to compound this, the Internet is one of the few places that they can't control it's influence on us. This leads to parental paranoia, and unnecessary fear.

Agreed. It's a (somewhat) new thing our parents can't really understand because they don't use the internet like we do. And as for my mom, whenever she sees something new on the news about something bad, she questions me on it, just to be sure kind of thing. On a Dr. Phil episode it was about kids and teens doing stupid stunts and stuff, usually resulting in permanent scarring, bone breaking, and even death, and they would sometimes post them on youtube, so she asked me if I did any of that stuff and I'd reply "haha absolutely not!" Another was a new type of drug going around or something (shows how much I cared) and she asked if I did that drug and I told her, "mom, I have never done a single drug in my life" which I haven't. In a way I could see her concern, and I would too when I'm a parent.

I'm suprised she hasn't asked me about PAD...

[Neytiri_Quest]

Hi Stanley. I'll keep my comments short, since so much good advice and support has already been given. I don't know you very well, but from what I've seen, you are one of the most pleasant and considerate people on this list, and have a good head on your shoulders as well.

People are afraid of what they don't understand, and naturally try to control that which they fear. As long as you are living at home, you will have to understand this and make certain concessions. I'm guessing you've changed so much from the AVATAR Experience that your family (especially your mother) is somewhat confused and frightened by these changes. You're not so easy to figure out or control anymore. You're becoming your own man. And from what I can tell by your posts, these changes have been mostly beneficial ones for you.

I'm sure many of the people on this list can relate to the confusion, hurt feelings, and alienation you must be feeling right now. Just hang in there and know by all the heart-felt responses you have gotten so far that you have many good and sympathetic friends on this site, and you are not alone during this difficult process.

[Sight Unseen]

Originally Posted by Stanley_9875

Agreed. It's a (somewhat) new thing our parents can't really understand because they don't use the internet like we do. And as for my mom, whenever she sees something new on the news about something bad, she questions me on it, just to be sure kind of thing. On a Dr. Phil episode it was about kids and teens doing stupid stunts and stuff, usually resulting in permanent scarring, bone breaking, and even death, and they would sometimes post them on youtube, so she asked me if I did any of that stuff and I'd reply "haha absolutely not!" Another was a new type of drug going around or something (shows how much I cared) and she asked if I did that drug and I told her, "mom, I have never done a single drug in my life" which I haven't. In a way I could see her concern, and I would too when I'm a parent.

I'm suprised she hasn't asked me about PAD...

I know exactly how you feel. It seriously gets old being interrogated 24/7. I can't honestly believe that your/my parents would believe we would do this. As for being questioned about PAD, I've been in a semi-PAD state for a couple years now. My mom has more than once threatened me with professional help if I didn't "let up on that damned incessant cynicism".