My P.A.D whent home..

[Human No More]

Originally Posted by Sempu

I forget where I read it - so many books* - but there have been recent studies done measuring the happiness of people who have had certain accidents of fate that reveal something interesting that supports your contention.

(Yes, I know there's no objective measurement of happiness. But the studies look at the changes in people's happiness from their own subjective viewpoint, which is meaningful.)

They looked at people who had won the lottery, and people who had become paralyzed. And they found that people who won the lottery, their happiness rose quite a bit in the short term, then settled down to slightly below where it had been before. And that people who became paralyzed, their happiness dropped quite a bit in the short term, and then settled down to slightly above where it had been before. The differences were considered significant.

This actually means that you will be happier in the long term if you become crippled, and less happy in the long term if you become a millionaire.

Not that I suggest diving into empty swimming pools or the like. It may be possible to make sense of this study but it's still against what we "think" we know. My own strategy has more to do with increasing wealth than shopping for wheelchairs. But you could scarcely ask for better evidence that circumstances do not "cause" happiness.

(* The book may have been one called "Happy for No Reason", and even if it wasn't, it's a great book.)

With the right survey, you can claim to show anything. I know which I'd rather have happen to me... happiness is what you make of it,. Sure, having money and nobidy who actually cares about you would certainly be depressing, but that's why you're careful when you do, and I know I'd be much more depressed by not being able to be in a pit any more, or run down the road, or even do simple tasks myself. That really is no way to live for me, it's actually the one thing I'm most scared of in life.

Originally Posted by Sempu

So when you say, "I'm depressed," it creates depression. (Whatever "depression" means to you. It's a very vague label to the vast majority of people.)

I understand that it feels like a lie to say "I'm happy" if you're not feeling that way, but if you do, you're far more likely to end up feeling better than if you continue to say, "I'm depressed." Do what works, I say.

Depression is, among other things, a loop, a negative spiral. Part of the spiraling is due to the negative feedback effect of describing the depression with self-talk like, "I'm depressed," which then sets off more reaction in the emotions as they strive to match the description, which was vague to begin with.

Someone who goes far enough down this path ends up not only thinking that it's impossible to feel better... but that they don't even want to feel better. I find this such an affront to the gift of life. A hamster has more sense than to do that to itself. But having been down that path myself, I have great empathy for anyone else who is on it. They do have to find within themselves the belief that things can be better - not requiring magical outside intervention like being transported to a fictional planet - but everyone has that in them somewhere, it is a biological imperative.

I find people who tell themselves they're happy when they're not (and they really know that) to be one of the most depressing things around.
In my opinion, life isn't a 'gift' just because it's only a chance occurrence, and even if you consider it one, that means it is our own to do with as we like.