Come A Long Way Since Dixie Chicks

[Mika]

Progress ..

It really hit me today, even though I had a momentary eclipse that put me back into dark night feelings earlier this week, but suddenly as I was driving doing errands, just how far I've come in the last few months.

This was more than just realizing that I had passed through the worst of PAD and depression, this was realizing that I had finally moved beyond the Dixie Chicks Song. Some of you might remember back on A.F. my lamenting and thought processing and that their song Not Ready to Make Nice had a lot to say for me at that time, and that I still hadn't got to the point of making peace with my past.

Well next weekend is my 30th High School Graduation. Ok I'll admit upfront that I'm not really looking forward to going, I still don't remember anyone and not sure that even with name tags I'll remember, but one of my best friends from High School is going and we want to hook up. But what has changed is I'm not stuck on being unforgiving and therefore not wanting to remember those years. I know for many High School friendships and years are the best of their lives, but like many on this forum .. for me no they were not!

The bright side (as a point of vanity) I can already tell by looking at some pics, that I think I have aged better than most, I'm still alive, and have done a lot with my life (even though in dark moments that I forget that). But more importantly I'm not attached to those messages that ran through my head for so many years. All that's changed!

No matter how painful some of the worst parts have been, I'm a better person with a far healthier outlook on life and myself these days, a lot of the negative messages that ruled me all these years have passed away, a lot of misconceptions have been stripped away, and what remains now is a woman whom has come greatly to appreciate herself.

And today I just had to marvel in that!