Avatar driver hours and "matechoosing"

[Anima]

Here's two things I've been thinking about:

How do Norm and the other avatar drivers get their driver hours on earth without an avatar? (Grace:"have much linktime have you logged" Norm: "about 520 hours")

The other thing I dont understand fully is how the matechoosing among the Navi work? When Jake and Neytiri has the "and you may choose a woman" talk it sounds like the men decides who they want and the women has no saying in it (even though Jake wants Neytiri to choose him as well, but he's a human after all).

But on the other hand it seems like Tsu'Tey already has choosen Neytiri (Grace tells Jake that they'll become a mated pair and so on) and if so, she shouldn't be able to go with jake instead.

But it seems to me that the Na'vi are too peaceloving and in balance with nature to be the kind of people that forces their people (women in this case) into things. It also seems like the women and men are quite equal and have no gender rolls.

But then again, if the women can choose as well as the men, what does the whole "choose a woman" thing mean? Any thoughts?