Searching for lifemate? Or already have them?

[Autumnshire]

I was just wondering what other people's situations are here at the moment ^^ Are you... a content individual? Happily - whatever? Or... waiting? Something like that?

For me, I'm a *usually* happy, single individual - independent (well, as independent as one can be who lives with her mother), but I'm certainly looking forward for the time to come that I come across my lifemate ^^ People go on and on and on at me about how young I am and therefore "why so serious?" But I don't see it as being 'serious' - my friends keep telling me I should 'get out and have some fun'... well, I don't actually want the type of 'fun' they're talking about! And I also don't want to waste my time on useless relationships. I mean, of course you can't just usually shake someone's hand and think, "Oh! Yep we're gonna get married" or whatever, because nobody knows exactly what the future holds, but thanks to several guys who taught me what a relationship shouldn't be like, and Avatar which taught me the kind of thing I *would* like to find, I'm going to be much wiser about my decisions. I'm going to wait for someone who Sees - you know; sees the world in a similar way to me, respects the creatures of the earth the same way I do, and instead of wanting to get ahead in the rat race, they want to spend their life doing something good - for themselves, and our Earth.

Anyway. So, wondering where other people are on this page. Of course not everybody's going to want to share, but for those who do, I'm interested

[Human No More]

I feel like you about wanting to find a lifemate, to find my Neytiri, but I'm not sure exactly... It makes me very lonely how I can't seem to find anyone, and I know I've got so long to do it, I just don't want to wait really. I also wonder if the person I want really exists or not, because so many people just aren't right for one reason or another

[Akwey]

Originally Posted by Human No More

I feel like you about wanting to find a lifemate, to find my Neytiri, but I'm not sure exactly... It makes me very lonely how I can't seem to find anyone, and I know I've got so long to do it, I just don't want to wait really. I also wonder if the person I want really exists or not, because so many people just aren't right for one reason or another

don't worry, there's over 6 billion people on earth, i'm sure you'll find your Neytiri

[Autumnshire]

Ohh Human No More, I know how you feel. I get pretty lonely, and rather hopeless a lot of the time thinking "I'm looking forward to meeting this amazing person but... is it actually ever going to happen...?" I guess you just have to trust that it will one day, but at the same time not think about it too much.. if that makes any sense at all. If you trust in it enough, for sure it will happen, but of course if you go out looking for it it's Murphy's Law that it won't happen while you're being active about it so to speak.
And I think learning to be happy and content with yourself is a big part of finding somebody great. It's hard to love others if you don't love yourself first. I'm like you Gunny, had a bad last relationship (actually the few I've had have all been pretty bad, heh), so I'm going to *try* and use this time not to get *too* lonely and miss what I'm pining for, but to improve my mindset and soul if I can.

@tallbluewanderer that's the neat thing about these forums; so many like-minded people with certain things I love it.

@rapunzel - congrats. I'm really happy to hear it. You've been good to me and I'm glad you've found this thing

@Fighter-of-wars I know what you mean. I like what you said. And it's not a longshot at all. My mum's constantly telling me not to be 'stupid' and 'picky' because I'm "never going to find a person with those qualities" (well actually she's wrong - I've met a lot on these forums - TAKE THAT Mum!!). But let's say she's right and I never meet irl someone like this - well, I still wouldn't want to settle for anything less than what I really think I need and want. That would just lead to a vastly unhappy life. A life of constantly thinking "This just doesn't feel how it should". No. That's not me.

Hmm. I still think it'd rock if we had a little community irl. Full of people who understand. Tehe that's a fun thought.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Human No More

I feel like you about wanting to find a lifemate, to find my Neytiri, but I'm not sure exactly... It makes me very lonely how I can't seem to find anyone, and I know I've got so long to do it, I just don't want to wait really. I also wonder if the person I want really exists or not, because so many people just aren't right for one reason or another

This describes how I was a couple of years ago. I almost gave up and it hurt so much to be lonely . It also didn't help that I have very little self-confidence and a low opinion of myself. Finding a good mate is getting more and more difficult since so many people have succumbed to shallowness. Many people are seeking new ways to meet people. The internet is becoming more influential in the dating scene. I know it brings with it a lot of challenges for good and ill but its a possibility. My sister and I found our husbands on the internet. I would also advise not to think about it all the time. Also, be a bit picky, especially in the personality and character department. If you want a lifemate (spouse, etc) then you want someone you will want to be with for the rest of your life. In that case, be careful. You don't want to end up with someone you will regret being with. I'm sure that all of us here can list several examples of couples that got together/married, etc for the wrong reasons and led to disastrous results.

Above all, be patient . I know that it can be difficult but the rewards are worth it. Good luck HNM .

[Fosus]

I'm 15 atm, so I'll wait for a couple of years

[Txum_kali'weya]

Originally Posted by Fosus

I'm 15 atm, so I'll wait for a couple of years

same.

Looking for Neytiri...

[tallbluewanderer]

Originally Posted by Autumnshire

For me, I'm a *usually* happy, single individual - independent (well, as independent as one can be who lives with her mother), but I'm certainly looking forward for the time to come that I come across my lifemate ^^ People go on and on and on at me about how young I am and therefore "why so serious?" But I don't see it as being 'serious' - my friends keep telling me I should 'get out and have some fun'... well, I don't actually want the type of 'fun' they're talking about! And I also don't want to waste my time on useless relationships. I mean, of course you can't just usually shake someone's hand and think, "Oh! Yep we're gonna get married" or whatever, because nobody knows exactly what the future holds, but thanks to several guys who taught me what a relationship shouldn't be like, and Avatar which taught me the kind of thing I *would* like to find, I'm going to be much wiser about my decisions. I'm going to wait for someone who Sees - you know; sees the world in a similar way to me, respects the creatures of the earth the same way I do, and instead of wanting to get ahead in the rat race, they want to spend their life doing something good - for themselves, and our Earth.

Well said. I believe you've summed up my situation perfectly -- I don't think there's anything I can add to what you've said here.

(So many people on this forum seem to be reading my mind! )

[Gunny]

I am contently single (bad last relationship...long story lol) and while I do miss having a girlfriend I am liking being on my own at the moment and just doing my own thing. Ive decided that Im not going to necessarily always looking for that lifemate anymore at the moment, Im more along the lines of I just want to have the most fun I can and do things I love. I believe when the time is right I will meet that special someone on a whim and it will hit me then that this is the right person for me. I feel that if I try to force myself I will miss out on so much more.

[rapunzel77]

It took me several years but I have found my life mate . Sometimes it takes a while to find them because there are so many that wouldn't be right for you, etc. I almost gave up but then he showed up. We are going to be celebrating 2 years of being married in October . I'm so happy to have found him. He's my best friend and soulmate . For those of you still looking, don't be discouraged.

[Sovereign]

I'm not saying I won't look, but right now I'm busy graduating from college, doing an internship in Washington DC, and trying to find a job (hopefully that internship leads to one). If she happens to fall in my lap, so to speak, while I'm doing all of the above, great. But right now I'm not going to expend effort looking.

[Spock]

Originally Posted by Autumnshire

I was just wondering what other people's situations are here at the moment ^^ Are you... a content individual? Happily - whatever? Or... waiting? Something like that?

For me, I'm a *usually* happy, single individual - independent (well, as independent as one can be who lives with her mother), but I'm certainly looking forward for the time to come that I come across my lifemate ^^ People go on and on and on at me about how young I am and therefore "why so serious?" But I don't see it as being 'serious' - my friends keep telling me I should 'get out and have some fun'... well, I don't actually want the type of 'fun' they're talking about! And I also don't want to waste my time on useless relationships. I mean, of course you can't just usually shake someone's hand and think, "Oh! Yep we're gonna get married" or whatever, because nobody knows exactly what the future holds, but thanks to several guys who taught me what a relationship shouldn't be like, and Avatar which taught me the kind of thing I *would* like to find, I'm going to be much wiser about my decisions. I'm going to wait for someone who Sees - you know; sees the world in a similar way to me, respects the creatures of the earth the same way I do, and instead of wanting to get ahead in the rat race, they want to spend their life doing something good - for themselves, and our Earth.

Anyway. So, wondering where other people are on this page. Of course not everybody's going to want to share, but for those who do, I'm interested

This is my situation as well. I'm really not the kind of person to have girlfriends for short periods of time.

P.S: Thankyou for that text today, it made my day.

[Fighter-of-Wars]

I searching and hoping to find a girl who will be content with what I can provide and the life I live and those are my main things. I don't want a big fancy house, big parties with all the neighbors over, expensive cars. I want to live a nice down to earth simple life and I want a girl that will be happy with that. I know it's a long shot but I don't want to jump into a relationship and end up with more heartache than its worth.

[rapunzel77]

Originally Posted by Fighter-of-Wars

I searching and hoping to find a girl who will be content with what I can provide and the life I live and those are my main things. I don't want a big fancy house, big parties with all the neighbors over, expensive cars. I want to live a nice down to earth simple life and I want a girl that will be happy with that. I know it's a long shot but I don't want to jump into a relationship and end up with more heartache than its worth.

You have the right idea . You realize there is more to this life than material possessions and the woman you will find will have a similar belief. Material things break down, get old, disappear, etc. Looks will fade. Its what is in the heart that counts. Know what you want and go from there but do so with caution. I definitely understand about jumping into a relationship and then have it blow up in your face. Its not pretty and it takes a long time to get over it.

[zongtseng]

I posted about this somewhere else on ToS a while ago, but I'll repeat it here. I am 35 years old, and have found no one. And I am content with that, as content as is possible to be. Many years ago, I went through a very dark period where I was just depressed out of my mind over not being able to find anyone meaningful. The way I recovered from that was to put myself at peace with the fact that it *might* not ever happen.

I no longer actively look. I believe at this point that if I am meant to have someone, it will happen in some way I am not expecting or looking for. I would love nothing more than to have it happen, but it is much easier to go through life at peace with being alone. I spend months every year out in nature, in a lot of very remote and beautiful places. Sharing them with someone would be great, but there is something to be said for solitude as well.