what am i supposed to do......

[tm20]

it seems like no matter what I do my parents are always extremely dissapointed with me.

It's that time of the year when I have to apply for a transfer from one faculty to another. I am currently enroled in the engineering faculty but I dont want to do that so I decided to take biological and environmental sciences this semester in hopes for transfering to the science faculty. When my parents heard about this at the start of the year they were extremely upset and dissapointed, as if they heard i was going to prision or something. Anyway, I've been doing pretty good in the science subjects (70-90% for assignments and lab work)

There are 2 ways I can apply for transfer: internally, and through UAC (university admission centre) So tonight i was applying for both and when doing the UAC application, I was aksed to make preferences. My first was ofcourse the uni I am currently at BUT incase I dont make it, I have to put down preferences for other uni's. My dad first heard this and went nuts as usual. Then he talked to me for a while and then my mum heard this. She heard "university.......change" and then she went ****en nuts as well. Now she has locked herself in her room and refuses to come out. ****en stubborn as hell.

Something which I think a normal family would simply discuss turns into a massive argument in my family. I ****ing hate it, this was the reason I went to go see a counselor at the start of the year, because I didn't know what I should do about having parents who are always very dissapointed in their son and what to do about the anger that built up inside. Not only that but the anger lead to other things as well. Just as I thought everything was getting better, everything got ****ed up just because of what happenned tonight.

I've ****ing worked my ass off this semester, getting all lab assessments and assignments done and even studying in my free time. I really have and all I tried to do was explain the realistic and logical thing to do and I get this ****en bull**** in return.... seriously, **** my life.......

What am i supposed to do..........

[Helicoradian]

Just curious, why do your parents want you to stay on the engineering track? You obviously don't want to continue doing that. Do they not realize that environmental science can lead to just as successful a career as engineering?

Sticky situation you have on your hands tm20, but I would continue to pursue what YOU want to do. Be respectful of your parents but just tell them engineering is not something you want to do any longer. Maybe with time they will see it the way you do...

[tm20]

My dad is a person who works for large banks. he helps oversee deals between banks and other companies. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps. However I learned that during highschool, business/economics was not for me. My mum doesn't work but she used to for a bank as well. She just wanted me to do something that gets me rich (engineer, doctor, lawyer). I have tried many times to explain to them as nice as possible BUT it always ends in an argument. my dad keeps saying "well, as long as you enjoy what you do" and my mum keeps saying "just dont dissapoint us" but i feel like they really are saying "you're a ****en failure, you could be doing this and that but instead you choose to do this ****" and I have been ignoring it except tonight, that showed again by the way they acted to what i had to say.

[Fkeu'itan]

Wow, this is quite a sticky situation. I feel for you brother.

I realise that (from the sounds of it) it's difficult to talk to your parents about it, but I honestly believe the best way forward would be to try to get them to sit down and discuss where you are - or want to be - heading in the future and explain to them the situation and how you feel about it.

As I said, this may be difficult, but it's probably for the best.

[Eltu]

I agree with Fkeu'itan. The best way would be to talk out the whole situation with them - as Fkeu'itan said though - this might be difficult.

But in the end, it is something you need to do.

[Ay'iheyu]

Maybe I'm just very patient, but I think you should just go for what you want to do, try to ignore all of the negativity your parents, and when you succeed, you will be happy, no matter what they say.
Chin up! Move forward! :]

[madman]

tm20.. tsmukan, let me start off by saying your situation angers me… I hate to see anyone not getting the support they deserve from their loved ones. My parents always supported me in anything I wanted to do. They let me screw up a few years of my life to learn the hard lessons on my own. I sometimes wonder if that was a good thing or not… Your situation is obviously different. I lacked proper drive and commitment and could have used a little guidance.

Originally Posted by tm20

it seems like no matter what I do my parents are always extremely dissapointed with me.

It's that time of the year when I have to apply for a transfer from one faculty to another. I am currently enroled in the engineering faculty but I dont want to do that so I decided to take biological and environmental sciences this semester in hopes for transfering to the science faculty. When my parents heard about this at the start of the year they were extremely upset and dissapointed, as if they heard i was going to prision or something. Anyway, I've been doing pretty good in the science subjects (70-90% for assignments and lab work)

From the looks of this, your parents have a plan for you and they don’t like the fact you are swaying away from their plan. They cannot live your life for you tsmukan…

Originally Posted by tm20

There are 2 ways I can apply for transfer: internally, and through UAC (university admission centre) So tonight i was applying for both and when doing the UAC application, I was aksed to make preferences. My first was ofcourse the uni I am currently at BUT incase I dont make it, I have to put down preferences for other uni's. My dad first heard this and went nuts as usual. Then he talked to me for a while and then my mum heard this. She heard "university.......change" and then she went ****en nuts as well. Now she has locked herself in her room and refuses to come out. ****en stubborn as hell.

My mother has been known to do the same thing.. storm off to her room and lock the door if people don’t see things her way and actually say something to her about it. The only advice I can give you is to stay calm during your discussions with your parents about your plans. Showing passion, certainty, and maturity when someone else isn’t, can go a very long way.

Originally Posted by tm20

Something which I think a normal family would simply discuss turns into a massive argument in my family. I ****ing hate it, this was the reason I went to go see a counselor at the start of the year, because I didn't know what I should do about having parents who are always very dissapointed in their son and what to do about the anger that built up inside. Not only that but the anger lead to other things as well. Just as I thought everything was getting better, everything got ****ed up just because of what happenned tonight.

I've ****ing worked my ass off this semester, getting all lab assessments and assignments done and even studying in my free time. I really have and all I tried to do was explain the realistic and logical thing to do and I get this ****en bull**** in return.... seriously, **** my life.......

What am i supposed to do..........

Brother! I really think in my heart that your parents will come around when they see you are happy and successful in what you do. Your parents may not understand now, but I feel they will. Everyone has ups and downs in life and with family. Struggle through them with your head held high and in the end all will be well. Stick to your studies and do the amazing things that you know you can do. Your parents will be proud.

Oel ngati kameie tsmukan

[Dreaming Of Pandora]

tm20, I can almost fully relate to your situation.

Maybe not to the extent of which you talk about but Im currently in the same sort of problem.

My dad wants me to go into engineering, Im good at maths and physics and says that engineering is what he did too. But I have other plans, I want to try and follow my dreams so Im aiming for Astrophysics in college. Expectedly my Dad goes berserk and tells me Im not cut out for astrophysics (some faith in me right?) but I always do well in exams (70-100) but he's disappointed I haven't considered engineering (btw I find engineering to be really boring and astronomy has been my biggest interest as long as I can remember). I really hate the lack of faith he has in me. I find it annoying that even if I do something perfectly my dad always has higher expectations than that (insane, I know).

My mom thankfully is supportive but my dad has always got something against me, nothing ever fully pleases him.
Argh I least I got that of my chest.
I dont know how I can help with your problem, all I can say is I understand.

[Human No More]

That's bad...
I don't know your parents (obviously ), but I guess you should try to talk to them. Don't give up on what YOU want to do. Never let people make decisions for you.
Good luck

[tm20]

Well, thanks alot everyone who understands... really, these are just words being typed from a keyboard BUT i really am glad you all understand and some can even relate so again, thanks heaps. Talking to people about these things really does help for me

BUT again, tonight in the car my dad asked me how my day was. It was actually really good. I got out of the house, went to uni and got some good work done on my report, went to but a new guitar strap, went to see Avatar and went to judo. At the end of judo i was talking to someone who managed to get the best tickets for metallica in November and he has 3 sparis so i thought "this is excellent! one for me, my cousin and a friend" so i accepted them. But previously i asked my mum to buy 4 (this was before last nights **** fight) and so now I have 4 left over.... I told my dad about this and what seemed like a calm conversation soom became an argument where he raised his voice and called me and my friends disorganised which is true, but then trying to calm him down i said ok ok ok OK OK OK OK!!!!!!!!!!!! and we both got annoyed. I've managed to sell 2 already so that's half of my parents $$$ returned, the other 2 I will defenetily sell because theres no way Im letting my parents money go to waste. And I do appreciate that they did their best to get me tickets but I just was lucky to find even better ones. So now it's back to everyone not talking to each other in this miserable house.

I will continue to work hard and get good grades and study hard for the exams and hopefully make the transfer. Thankyou everyone for your understanding and support