The space between Heart beats.

[ProfoundHeart]

EDIT:This post is one previously posted on the AF and I wished to post it here as well!

For the past 5 months I have been separated from this place and my constant inspiration it provided, I cannot say I have done anything for this world in that time, nor can I can say I have lost my way. But I can say this..

I have just begun a journey of eternal discovery and loss, of pain and healing, of doubt and faith. I have realized since the thing many call just a movie, I have begun the journey that involves much questioning and failure, much realization and fear. The journey to discover myself and all I was meant for.

I have said I have found myself, but I have realized I am not even close. There is no absolute and concrete discovery of yourself. I have realized that one must question everything he/she does, and much learn to make a choice in spite of themselves, and in spite of the world around them. I have known no greater fear nor pain then that that I have experienced of late, but in that I have found healing and discovery.

This world, this place, is undefinable. It cannot be definitely described, and it can not become the Alibi of our mistakes. There are those who choose to use everything around them as an excuse for who they are or why things are the way they are, and that is a fact and in many cases the majority.

But if I realized anything, everything is what you make of it, and as cliche as that is, it is exactly true. I have become my own worst enemy and judge, and I have learned that I can either give myself the ability to soar, or to crash and burn.

But through all this vagueness, there is one thing that is always there in my Heart, and is and forever will be my absolute discovery. Life and Love.

My words are redundant, but it is not in the most obvious sense. I have discovered the importance of another human being, and the immense Life that is generated by the Love between them.

What I have said may seem silly and pointless, but in all this I see and feel every one of you. I have grown as a living being through my time on here, and through every individual I have met on here. Many will say we have not truly met, but we have, and those that say otherwise do not understand.

I feel the immaculate love for all of you and all I know course through me every second of every day, and I will never be able to do it justice in description.

I have just gone on a bit of a tangent, but I am overwhelmed by the emotion that is fit to burst from my veins.

You all are that space in between Heart beats, fueling the next one and the next one, making each on pules with emotion. I love you all, unconditionally.

My brothers and sisters, I see you with unblinking eyes, and my Heart will forever beat for you.

Oel Ngati Kameie, Always.

Liam.

PS. I have an incredible experience to share, and I will do so very soon. Until then, my brothers and sisters.

[allycat]

hey! i was wonderin where u went, i missed you!
thanks for posting this, its very insightful and awesome it makes sense, and remember, we love you too
alas, i am also on aself discovery mission, but like you said, it takes along time to discover oneself, and we have to do so through the lessons we learn in life. for some it takes longer than others..
thanks for this

[Human No More]

Sounds amazing... I'd be interested to know, and welcome back

[Wanderling]

Ah Liam, as always, the love you have in your heart shows through clearly in your words. Our journeys through life will continuously show us more profound pain and more exquisite beauty than we've known before, and as someone with a few more years behind her , I will say that these things temper and hone us throughout life, ever changing, teaching us to see, to truly see, if we let them.

I am sorry for your hurt, ma tsmukan, grateful for your healing, and glad you are here with us still. Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan.

[Gunny]

Oel Ngati Kameie ma tsmukan

I am so glad to see you post here brother. I still remember the day I had seen Avatar and come home, sitting around in pure shock. After it wore down some and PAD started to set in I somehow found my way over to AF. While I lurked there for what seemed ages your posts were one of the ones that truly touched my heart.

I was sad that I had not heard from you in quite some time. However, now I am very anxious to hear of this experience you had. I cant lie and say I didnt shed a bit of a tear reading your words, they hit close to home. Thank you for sharing this with us brother!

[Empty Glass]

Originally Posted by ProfoundHeart

I have said I have found myself, but I have realized I am not even close. There is no absolute and concrete discovery of yourself. I have realized that one must question everything he/she does, and much learn to make a choice in spite of themselves, and in spite of the world around them. I have known no greater fear nor pain then that that I have experienced of late, but in that I have found healing and discovery.

I feel like I know what you mean. I too try to find out who I really am, yet I must always be ready to revise what I think of myself. Life just isn't simple enough that we can all know the whole of ourselves in a short period of time. I'd say more, but I'm afraid (paranoid?) of misunderstanding what you mean and I don't want to do that if you've been under great pain... I look forward to hearing your story when you're ready to tell it.

By the way, let me say this: even though I've only been a member of ToS for a few days now, I have nevertheless read all your wonderful posts on AF multiple times over. I would say that they are gifts to read, but I'm not sure if even that would do justice to them. And among the many sayings that live in my head these days, one of them is from you - "We were meant to soar on the wings of others." Don't know what else to say at the moment except that I just think it's so beautiful! (Sorry, words are failing me right now.) Thank you for sharing all that you have shared and all that you continue to share.

[Stanley_9875]

Ma tsmukan!!! I have missed you dearly brother, I am so happy to see yu have returned!!! Your words have one again spoken to my soul, I have missed you and your threads and words of wisdom welcome back home

[rapunzel77]

Yay, ProfoundHeart is back . I have missed your insightful posts. The one you have posted is beautiful . I hope you will be able to tell us your story soon. I look forward to hearing it.