Post Avatar Elation... for a change

[Sight Unseen]

It's hard to really describe how I felt, and I'm not that good with words anyway.

Usually, anything Avatar gets me intensely depressed about everything else, but this time, it was different.

It was 3AM, and I had been up all night playing Mass Effect on my PC (which got a corrupt bios this morning :/ ) I was half awake and half dead from the combination of three cups of black instant coffee I had hastily brewed and lack of sleep. I forced myself away from the computer, and into bed, and I couldn't sleep because of my aforementioned enough-to-kill-a-small-animal caffeine intake. So I popped in my headphones, and started listening to my relaxation playlist, which happened to include the Avatar Soundtrack.

I was sort of in between sleep and awake, just conscious enough to want to go to sleep. Then "Becoming One of the People" started playing. I don't know how or why, but for a split second, I felt like I was there. Didn't care about anything, or have anything to care about, simply running and jumping through the trees, for no reason other than to be alive. It felt like someone took a massive weight off my chest. It was sort of like falling without the movement. For the first time since I can remember, I smiled, without thinking about it. Just for an instant, I felt truly alive, like I'm not the human element in this massive and pointless machine of society, but free, free to just Be.

And then it was gone.

I guess it is for this reason I want to be a Na'vi. I could live, alive.