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#1
08-06-2010, 11:27 PM
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Come A Long Way Since Dixie Chicks
Progress ..
It really hit me today, even though I had a momentary eclipse that put me back into dark night feelings earlier this week, but suddenly as I was driving doing errands, just how far I've come in the last few months. This was more than just realizing that I had passed through the worst of PAD and depression, this was realizing that I had finally moved beyond the Dixie Chicks Song. Some of you might remember back on A.F. my lamenting and thought processing and that their song Not Ready to Make Nice had a lot to say for me at that time, and that I still hadn't got to the point of making peace with my past. Well next weekend is my 30th High School Graduation. Ok I'll admit upfront that I'm not really looking forward to going, I still don't remember anyone and not sure that even with name tags I'll remember, but one of my best friends from High School is going and we want to hook up. But what has changed is I'm not stuck on being unforgiving and therefore not wanting to remember those years. I know for many High School friendships and years are the best of their lives, but like many on this forum .. for me no they were not! The bright side (as a point of vanity) I can already tell by looking at some pics, that I think I have aged better than most, I'm still alive, and have done a lot with my life (even though in dark moments that I forget that). But more importantly I'm not attached to those messages that ran through my head for so many years. All that's changed! No matter how painful some of the worst parts have been, I'm a better person with a far healthier outlook on life and myself these days, a lot of the negative messages that ruled me all these years have passed away, a lot of misconceptions have been stripped away, and what remains now is a woman whom has come greatly to appreciate herself. And today I just had to marvel in that! 
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It was impossible not to have, It's impossible not to be, It's impossible not to still ...!  What this world really needs is more artists and environmentalists! "Its only 'here' that we lose perspective, out at the Cosmic Consciousness Level things get a lot clearer. For example, there is an actual star pattern that is traced in the shape of a Willow Tree, across the breadth of the Milky Way! And no wonder Indigenous peoples refer to the 'here after' as the Happy Hunting Grounds! Has it ever occured to anyone why the bioluminescence dots, on the Na'vi!" 
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#2
08-14-2010, 06:21 PM
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Survived the Grad Reunion, was pretty small and went fairly smoothly, guys haven't faired as well as the gals (love your heads of hair now guys .. cause the likely hood of being only one or two at your reunions still with a full head of hair, is highly unlikely
but most interesting was yeah for all the angsts and cliques and b.s. of high school politics and stuff, people do eventually change and mature.
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It was impossible not to have, It's impossible not to be, It's impossible not to still ...! What this world really needs is more artists and environmentalists! "Its only 'here' that we lose perspective, out at the Cosmic Consciousness Level things get a lot clearer. For example, there is an actual star pattern that is traced in the shape of a Willow Tree, across the breadth of the Milky Way! And no wonder Indigenous peoples refer to the 'here after' as the Happy Hunting Grounds! Has it ever occured to anyone why the bioluminescence dots, on the Na'vi!"
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#3
08-14-2010, 07:00 PM
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Sorry I hadn't seen this thread earlier Mika.
I haven't really had any reunion of this sort (probably due to my age) but I know myself how awkward it can be meeting someone you haven't seen in a while. Especially when you look at what they're doing and then again at what it is you're doing and there's a huge difference. I'm glad that you have managed to make peace with the past though and also very glad that the reunion went better than you had first thought. I suppose, like you said, people do have the capacity to change in ways you may never have even thought possible back in the school days...
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"When the time comes, just walk away and don't make any fuss."
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