Welcome Home Depression, I Welcome You (Avatar SE Trip No Spoilers)

[Stanley_9875]

(This was written from my journal that I brought around with me and wrote today)

I don't know anymore. I dont know what to feel. The movie was... indescribable. Unexplainable. I cried throughout pretty much the entire movie. Now, the movie's over, the life I dreamed, wished, I lived is replaced by credits, and now, I sit in my chair, unsure. Who am I? Why am I here? What is this I'm feeling right now? I stumbled out of the theater after the end credits were finished and everyone left. I sulked to my car, feeling dead. Now I sit here. I have a chance to sneak out to the rave, but I dont feel like it. I don't want to go home with my family, I dont want to be anywhere except Pandora. I don't know what to think or do. I'm a bit scared honestly. I don't feel like doing anything. It's taking a bit of strength to write this, but I'm thinking of when I look back at this in the future. I'm crying now. I just wish I had someone physically near me in bed who truly understood me I can embrace and just open my heart up and have her listen truly and intently. I just want to be away from here. So after the movie I just drove down a major street east. I drove until there was nothing but industry, big buildings and factories. I've never been there, but I didn't care. I felt as if I had nowhere else to go.

I had no idea my feelings have slowly slipped from me, and I'm just so... unsure. Music from the movie running through my head. Beautiful new scenes playing throughout my mind... its overwhealming me, just like the first night, but I know what all this is.

I'll write more later, I just don't feel motivated to do anything now, it all seems worthless. My PAD returned and hit me again with its hardest blow.

Welcome home