Why can't I grieve?

[Tanhì]

My apologies for the overly dramatic title.

So my 10 year old snake is to be euthanized Wednesday. I'm had him since I was about five or so, and I love him very dearly. My mother, my sister, and I found out he needed to be euthanized a few days ago. When my mother and sister first heard the news, they burst into tears and were very distraught.

But not me. I haven't shed a single tear. I have been thinking about him (the snake) often, but I don't feel anything. Surely I should be upset and crying like my mom and my sister? But I can't. I look at him and see that he is dying. I know he will be gone in two days. But this doesn't make me sad, or angry, or confused. I don't feel anything at all...

I just don't understand why this isn't affecting me. I love my snake dearly and will miss him terribly when he is gone. But why can't I grieve for him right now? I feel freaking heartless, watching my mom and my sister crying their eyes out while I don't feel anything at all.

EDIT: Wow, just read over that and I repeat myself a lot. Sorry about that.